Jeff Foxworthy's Take on people from Wisconsin

Ausm

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
25,213
14
81
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there
all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might
live in Wisconsin.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's
"too spendy", you might live in Wisconsin.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November
through March, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five
months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they
don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around
the middle of his forehead, you might live in
Wisconsin.

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have
heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett", you
might live in Wisconsin.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Wisconsin.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Wisconsin.

If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie
& Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you
might live in Wisconsin.

Series II. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to
pass a tractor on the highway.

2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy 29 for the
weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than
once.

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same
day and back again

6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on
Sunday.

7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during
a raging blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events.
(including weddings)

9. You install security lights on your house and
garage and leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish,
and venison.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your
girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot
at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit
over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow.

15. You refer to the Packers as "we."

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter,
still winter and road construction.

17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.

19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.

20. You know how to polka.

21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a
deer next to your blue spruce.

22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking
age.

23. Down South to you means Iowa.

24. A brat is something you eat.

25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new
pole shed.

26. You go out to fish fry every Friday

27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to
frost.

28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your
car.

29. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

30. You actually understand these jokes, and you tell
them to all your Wisconsin friends


Sysadmin :D
 

Mr N8

Diamond Member
Dec 3, 2001
8,793
0
76
:D

If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie
& Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.

I've actually lived in 2 of those cities. This all hits pretty close to home. :beer:
 

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,920
2,161
126
If you think Jeff Foxworthy is funny, you might be a redneck
rolleye.gif
 

XZeroII

Lifer
Jun 30, 2001
12,572
0
0
Originally posted by: Sysadmin
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there
all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might
live in Wisconsin.

been there, done that

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's
"too spendy", you might live in Wisconsin.

yup

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November
through March, you might live in Wisconsin.

I Don't go there

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five
months out of the year, you might live in Wisconsin.

I walk like an eskimo 5 months out of the year

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they
don't work there, you might live in Wisconsin.

been there, done that. Both sides

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around
the middle of his forehead, you might live in
Wisconsin.

I know many people like that

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have
heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Wisconsin.

heard of it

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Wisconsin.

does shorts and a sweatshirt count?

If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett", you
might live in Wisconsin.

nope

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Wisconsin.

probably...

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Wisconsin.

nope

If you know how to say Oconomowoc, Waukesha, Menomonie
& Manitowoc, you might live in Wisconsin.

yup

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you
might live in Wisconsin.

heck no. BBQ sause on Brats is :D:D:D

Series II. YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to
pass a tractor on the highway.

been there

2. "Vacation" means going up north past Hwy 29 for the
weekend.

been there. Well, not Hwy 29...

3. You measure distance in hours.

Distance is measured in minutes, idiot.

4. You know several people who have hit deer more than
once.

I know someone who has hit a calf even...

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same
day and back again

doing that now

6. Your whole family wears Packer Green to church on
Sunday.

been there

7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during
a raging blizzard, without flinching.

not quite 2 feet...

8. You see people wearing camouflage at social events.
(including weddings)

not weddings, but yes

9. You install security lights on your house and
garage and leave both unlocked.

:D no comment

10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish,
and venison.

what's wrong with that?

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your
girlfriend knows how to use them.

nope

12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot
at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time.

does Farm and Fleet count?

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit
over a snowsuit.

not lately :( darn no snow winters :(

14. Driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow.

No, because you can fishtail around every corner

15. You refer to the Packers as "we."

doesn't everybody?

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter,
still winter and road construction.

wrong. Winter, Winter, Road Construction, Road Construction. Seriously, they spent like 5 years on I-94 near me.

17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

Definatly

18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.

No problems

19. You consider Minneapolis exotic.

No

20. You know how to polka.

Had to learn in school

21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a
deer next to your blue spruce.

What a good idea...

22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking
age.

Is there?

23. Down South to you means Iowa.

Down south means Illinois...

24. A brat is something you eat.

It is

25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new
pole shed.

been there

26. You go out to fish fry every Friday

I'm trying to find a good all you can eat around here. They've all moved or closed up or something.

27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to
frost.

nope

28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your
car.

not the past couple years...

29. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

just a little

30. You actually understand these jokes, and you tell
them to all your Wisconsin friends

HEY!

Sysadmin :D

 

Ausm

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
25,213
14
81
Originally posted by: Fritzo
If you think Jeff Foxworthy is funny, you might be a redneck
rolleye.gif

If you crap on this thread you just may be an asshole too :D

Sysadmin
 

PG

Diamond Member
Oct 25, 1999
3,426
44
91
I'm from MN and most of those apply to me as well.
The one about driving through the snow at 65 mph is pretty true. I've driven through heavy snow in white out conditions going by the sound of snow under the car to tell if I was in the ruts of the previous vehicle or not.

 

Flyermax2k3

Diamond Member
Mar 1, 2003
3,204
0
0
Originally posted by: PG
I'm from MN and most of those apply to me as well.
The one about driving through the snow at 65 mph is pretty true. I've driven through heavy snow in white out conditions going by the sound of snow under the car to tell if I was in the ruts of the previous vehicle or not.

I was about to say the same thing... A lot of those really should be Minnesota, since MN is more well-known for having a Scandinavian population and being cold.
Oh, and the whole driving through the snow thing: :D Let's just say I used to race snow plows in the middle of blizzards - from a stop :D I :heart: all wheel drive.
 

BillGates

Diamond Member
Nov 30, 2001
7,388
2
81
Haha, this is great - though I wonder if Jeff Foxworthy really was the author of this. Some of it is probably too obscure for him to know about.
 

Thump553

Lifer
Jun 2, 2000
12,832
2,618
136
As a former resident of Wisconsin, I say amazingly on point. The only thing he missed was Scandanavian ethnic jokes. And Minneapolis is exotic-its out of state, has a giant mall and most of downtown is indoors.