Jack Bauer Facts


Diamond Member
Jan 15, 2004
- Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

- Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

- Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

- Every time you maturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.

- At the end of season 3, many believe Jack Bauer is crying tears of remorse because he shot Ryan Chappelle, murdering a friend. The truth of the matter is that Jack is crying tears of joy because he has just lived the American Dream, killing his boss.

- Jack Bauer does not care for names. Every entry in his address book is simply labeled "Son of a bitch."

- Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

- Jack Bauer once coached his daughter Kim's little league team to the championship game. To motivate the team at the beginning of the game, he was very intense and repeatedly shouted "What is your primary objective?!"

The list goes on