- Feb 7, 2004
- 11,088
- 2
- 81
BORING SERMON
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church.
"Reverend," she said, "I have a problem--my husband keeps falling asleep during
your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able
to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times.
When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher
put his plan to work. "And who lay made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he
said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the
leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister.
Soon, Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your
redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!"
Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said the
minister, smiling.
Before long, Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that
Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his last
son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that GD
thing in me one more time and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass!"
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church.
"Reverend," she said, "I have a problem--my husband keeps falling asleep during
your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able
to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times.
When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher
put his plan to work. "And who lay made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he
said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the
leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister.
Soon, Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your
redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!"
Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said the
minister, smiling.
Before long, Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that
Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his last
son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that GD
thing in me one more time and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass!"
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