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It's Over... and Goodbye.

I

Isla

Elite member
Over the years, I have come and gone on this message board. I've made a lot of good friends and learned some surprising and occasionally important things. 😀 I have also bared my soul... I've been very emotionally naked and honest here.

I've talked a lot about my marriage and how my husband and I have struggled to make what essentially was a mistake to begin with work. We've been going to a counselor, I've been going to an individual therapist, but my husband doesn't really think there is any need for him to go to an individual counselor. Our session today made it pretty clear to me that there is no hope for our marriage (barring some kind of miracle) and that my life is going to change in a very big way soon.

I will be ok... I've grown and I've got a great support system. I even have an excellent job waiting for me after the new year, it is just a matter of paperwork. My husband and I will continue to go to the counselor for some time because we have children to think of, and a domestic nuclear war is not in their best interests.

For all you bitter men who have been screwed over by women in the past, don't worry about the Mister. I have no desire to screw him over. We will work out a fair settlement, and he will be free to find happiness without the baggage of a vindictive ex-spouse. I have never been that way and won't suddenly start now.

For all of you who have encouraged me to stand up for myself and be strong, Thank You. I did that and apparently it was a deal killer for the marriage, but hey, I feel much better about myself than I have in years. And THAT is the best thing I can give to my kids.

The reason why I am saying goodbye is threefold. 1) I tend to disclose to much of my private life, and I can't do that any longer. 2) I won't have time to post anymore... being a working professional and a single mom will take all of my time and then some. 3) It is a way of me closing a chapter in my life and moving on. It's a symbolic thing.

I wish each and every one of you well. I won't be logging on again so don't PM me. If you really want to stay in touch, I check This E-Mail on a regular basis so you can give me a holler there.

Be Blessed and Be Well~

Isla the Defeated
 
:Q 😕 🙁

... what can I say?

I can't say "don't go" because you will not listen.
I can't say "go" because you will.

All I can say is good luck. And we'll miss you.

- M4H
 
Best of luck in your new life. Just let him see his kids without 4,321 restrictions...that's all I ask. 🙂

You will do very well for yourself. Good luck. 🙂
 
Isla the Victorious, more like it. I see nothing there that indicates true failure.

Good luck. Divorce is never easy, but it can be the right action to take.

Godspeed, and shalom.

Nate
 
I know how you feel.. I was just in the middle of similar situation, as the kid. Best of luck, Isla.

"Its times like these we learn to live again"
 
That's too bad.

Well.. you've done your part to try to change yourself in order to fix the situation. He doesn't think that he needs any, which makes no sense to me.

It is far more effective that each individual fixes himself or herself rather than waiting for each other to correct the situation.

Either way, sorry to hear that. 🙁 Good luck.
 
Isla the Defeated
Click to expand...
Aww Isla 🙁 Don't think of it that way. We all catch bad breaks from time to time. It's not about losing - it's about making the best of your situation and knowing what's best for you and your children at this point. You haven't lost - you've just realized what you need to do to make things right 🙂 I wish you the *best* of luck, and I hope you and your children will be happy (as happy as possible through this transition phase)

Good luck Isla, I mean it.
 
I'm sorry to see one us few gals leave, but it is for much better reasons than I could ever dispute. I know this must be so hard for you, and I wish you the best of luck in your steps to independence once again. Step out the door, feel that fresh breeze hit your face, and enjoy.
 
🙁 Sad to see you go, but happy at the same time for you... you've got a lot to live for, and everyone has their symbols. 🙂

Good luck, where you may go. 😀
 
Wow Isla! All I have to say is good for you! Silly girl that I am, I actually teared up a bit while reading you last post! I barely know you, but I'm very proud of you! God speed!🙂
 
Susan

As cynical as I may have been at times, I had truly hoped your marriage wouldn't end this way. I feel terribly sad right now, reading this. 🙁

I'll definitely stay in touch if you don't mind, I wouldn't want to completely lose out on you and your view into the human psyche.
 
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