is this sentence correct?

[MikeMike]

This is my space, dad -- it may not seemed organized to you, but it is to me.


edited to represent new way im doing it.

this is for a paper im typing up for english, ive got so much damn hmwk tonight.

MIKE

 

[MacBaine]

I think you should use a semicolon, <LeVar Burton>But don't take MY word for it</LeVar Burton>

 

[bradruth]

What's a "space dad"!?

That should probably be "This is my space, dad--it may be organized to me, but it may not be organized to you" or something to that effect.

 

[clamum]

Not a semi-colon... and colons are used for lists if I'm not mistaken. Maybe a hyphen?

 

[MikeMike]

Originally posted by: bradruth
What's a "space dad"!?

That should probably be "This is my space, dad--it may be organized to me, but it may not be organized to you" or something to that effect.

i getcha you switch hitter

good point. hypen might work.

MIKE

 

[SociallyChallenged]

Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1
"This is my space dad: organized to me, may not be organized to you. "

This is my space, dad; it's organized to my tastes, not your's.

 

[conjur]

"This is my space, dad. It may not seem organized to you, but it is to me."

 

[MacBaine]

Use a % to spice things up

 

[Allio]

My money would be on a hyphen. You're really introducing a new point as well as developing on the old one, so a hyphen is safer. The link just isn't direct enough.

I wish I had a space dad

 

[WinkOsmosis]

That comma doesn't belong there.

 

[MikeMike]

Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
That comma doesn't belong there.

i always add a lot of commas dunno why though. i think i had a comma nazi teacher in 7th grade, basically, if it didnt have a comma, it was wrong.

also, if a whole paper is given in speech between 2 ppl, i can get away with just labeling the first to lines, and then every indent means it switches speaker right?

MIKE

 

[bradruth]

Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1

Originally posted by: bradruth
What's a "space dad"!?

That should probably be "This is my space, dad--it may be organized to me, but it may not be organized to you" or something to that effect.

i getcha you switch hitter

good point. hypen might work.

MIKE

Stop calling me that. :|

 

[Nyical]

Nope, but I do have some good news for ya I saved a shiet load of money on my car Ins

 

[MaxDepth]

Originally posted by: SociallyChallenged

Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1
"This is my space dad: organized to me, may not be organized to you. "

This is my space, dad; it's organized to my tastes, not your's.

Close but not quite.


This is my space, dad; organized for my needs.

It would help to know what sentences came before and after this particular statement. I bet this is due tomorrow morning.

 

[MikeMike]

This is my space, dad - it may not seemed organized to you, but it is to me.

that???

its due tomorrow, but i have a rough draft, and the whole thing is typed already, 2 pages. pure speech so grammar isnt that necessary, just punctuation

and i still have to...
do 2 lab write-ups, read 7 sections for physics quiz, and study for chem test

MIKE

 

[MaxDepth]

NO HYPHEN!
You will shoot your eye out!


And the proper usage of a break in a sentence is not a hyphen, but an "emdash."

 

[opticalmace]

You all suck.

On either side of a semi-colon must exist independent clauses; that is, each must be a full sentence.
"Organized for my needs" does not work, MaxDepth.

In such a situation, you should just use a (double) hyphen--emdash, as MaxDepth has just informed me.

Hehe.

 

[Ikonomi]

Originally posted by: MaxDepth
NO HYPHEN!
You will shoot your eye out!


And the proper usage of a break in a sentence is not a hyphen, but an "emdash."

Beat me to it. The em dash is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE form of punctuation.

 

[Chumpman]

If you are referencing your father, then "dad" should be Dad.

I would write it: "This is my space, Dad, and while it may not be organized to you, it is to me."

 

[MikeMike]

ok, so i fixed it now.

about the conversation between 2 ppl. WHOLE paper is between 2 ppl, one conversation. on the first time each speaker speaks, i say who they are, then i just leave it off, and let the conversation carrying on. i am assuming, that because each time it switches speakers, it is indented that i do not have to restate who is speaking.
yes/no??

chumpman, you are correct, in this situation, however, it is only capitalized when using dad, instead of a name.

MIKE

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1
"This is my space dad: organized to me, may not be organized to you. "

i dont want it to be 2 sentences, in fact, i dont believe it can be. should i use the colon, or semi-colon where the current colon is. or should i use something else.

this is for a paper im typing up for english, ive got so much damn hmwk tonight.

MIKE

"organized to"?? That's definitely not right. "Organize" is a verb, "organized" is either the past-tense of the verb or an adjective. I would suggest the following:

"Dad, this is my space; it may be organized to suit my tastes, but it may not be organized to suit your tastes."

ZV

EDIT: It appears that your meaning wasn't as I adjusted it. In that case, I suggest this: "Dad, this is my space; I know that it does not seem organized to you, but from my perspective it is organized."

 

[eLiu]

Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1
"This is my space dad: organized to me, may not be organized to you. "

i dont want it to be 2 sentences, in fact, i dont believe it can be. should i use the colon, or semi-colon where the current colon is. or should i use something else.

this is for a paper im typing up for english, ive got so much damn hmwk tonight.

MIKE

I would do:

"Dad, this is my space: although it may not seem organized to you, I think it is quite organized."

You can also say, "This is my space, Dad"; the colon may also be replaced by a semicolon. The words following your colon (or semicolon) should be lengthened to express complete thoughts. Remember, the semicolon serves a similar purpose similar to that of the conjunction. It separates two clauses, although a semicolon creates a more marked break in the sentence--it's a stylistic thing, really. Using a colon in this situation is also permissable--again, stylistic.

Also...SociallyChallenged, "your's" is not a word--its yours.

 

[freakflag]

"This is my space, Dad...organized to me may not seem organized to you."

However, the whole sentence is awkward. Try this for a re-write:

"Fvck off, old man, it's my room and I intend to pile sh!t up to the ceiling...should the mood strike me."

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: SociallyChallenged

Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1
"This is my space dad: organized to me, may not be organized to you. "

This is my space, dad; it's organized to my tastes, not your's.

This is my space, dad; it's organized to my tastes, not yours.

 

[Mermaidman]

Originally posted by: Ikonomi

Originally posted by: MaxDepth
NO HYPHEN!
You will shoot your eye out!


And the proper usage of a break in a sentence is not a hyphen, but an "emdash."

Beat me to it. The em dash is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE form of punctuation.

FYI to those who don't know--In MS Word, type two hyphens consecutively and it automatically formats to an emdash when you type the next character.

This raises another question--Should the first letter after an emdash be capitalized?