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is this sentence correct?

M

MikeMike

Lifer
This is my space, dad -- it may not seemed organized to you, but it is to me.


edited to represent new way im doing it.

this is for a paper im typing up for english, ive got so much damn hmwk tonight.

MIKE
 
What's a "space dad"!? 😉

That should probably be "This is my space, dad--it may be organized to me, but it may not be organized to you" or something to that effect.
 
Originally posted by: bradruth
What's a "space dad"!? 😉

That should probably be "This is my space, dad--it may be organized to me, but it may not be organized to you" or something to that effect.
Click to expand...

i getcha you switch hitter 😀

good point. hypen might work.

MIKE
 
My money would be on a hyphen. You're really introducing a new point as well as developing on the old one, so a hyphen is safer. The link just isn't direct enough.

I wish I had a space dad 🙁
 
Originally posted by: WinkOsmosis
That comma doesn't belong there.
Click to expand...

i always add a lot of commas dunno why though. i think i had a comma nazi teacher in 7th grade, basically, if it didnt have a comma, it was wrong.

also, if a whole paper is given in speech between 2 ppl, i can get away with just labeling the first to lines, and then every indent means it switches speaker right?

MIKE
 
Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1
Originally posted by: bradruth
What's a "space dad"!? 😉

That should probably be "This is my space, dad--it may be organized to me, but it may not be organized to you" or something to that effect.
Click to expand...

i getcha you switch hitter 😀

good point. hypen might work.

MIKE
Click to expand...

Stop calling me that. :|


😉

 
Originally posted by: SociallyChallenged
Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1
"This is my space dad: organized to me, may not be organized to you. "
Click to expand...

This is my space, dad; it's organized to my tastes, not your's.
Click to expand...
Close but not quite.


This is my space, dad; organized for my needs.

It would help to know what sentences came before and after this particular statement. I bet this is due tomorrow morning. 😉
 
This is my space, dad - it may not seemed organized to you, but it is to me.

that???

its due tomorrow, but i have a rough draft, and the whole thing is typed already, 2 pages. pure speech so grammar isnt that necessary, just punctuation 😀

and i still have to...
do 2 lab write-ups, read 7 sections for physics quiz, and study for chem test

MIKE
 
You all suck.

On either side of a semi-colon must exist independent clauses; that is, each must be a full sentence.
"Organized for my needs" does not work, MaxDepth.

In such a situation, you should just use a (double) hyphen--emdash, as MaxDepth has just informed me.

Hehe. 😛
 
Originally posted by: MaxDepth
NO HYPHEN!
You will shoot your eye out!


And the proper usage of a break in a sentence is not a hyphen, but an "emdash."
Click to expand...

Beat me to it. The em dash is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE form of punctuation.
 
If you are referencing your father, then "dad" should be Dad.

I would write it: "This is my space, Dad, and while it may not be organized to you, it is to me."
 
ok, so i fixed it now.

about the conversation between 2 ppl. WHOLE paper is between 2 ppl, one conversation. on the first time each speaker speaks, i say who they are, then i just leave it off, and let the conversation carrying on. i am assuming, that because each time it switches speakers, it is indented that i do not have to restate who is speaking.
yes/no??

chumpman, you are correct, in this situation, however, it is only capitalized when using dad, instead of a name.

MIKE
 
Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1
"This is my space dad: organized to me, may not be organized to you. "

i dont want it to be 2 sentences, in fact, i dont believe it can be. should i use the colon, or semi-colon where the current colon is. or should i use something else.

this is for a paper im typing up for english, ive got so much damn hmwk tonight.

MIKE
Click to expand...
"organized to"?? That's definitely not right. "Organize" is a verb, "organized" is either the past-tense of the verb or an adjective. I would suggest the following:

"Dad, this is my space; it may be organized to suit my tastes, but it may not be organized to suit your tastes."

ZV

EDIT: It appears that your meaning wasn't as I adjusted it. In that case, I suggest this: "Dad, this is my space; I know that it does not seem organized to you, but from my perspective it is organized."
 
Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1
"This is my space dad: organized to me, may not be organized to you. "

i dont want it to be 2 sentences, in fact, i dont believe it can be. should i use the colon, or semi-colon where the current colon is. or should i use something else.

this is for a paper im typing up for english, ive got so much damn hmwk tonight.

MIKE
Click to expand...

I would do:

"Dad, this is my space: although it may not seem organized to you, I think it is quite organized."

You can also say, "This is my space, Dad"; the colon may also be replaced by a semicolon. The words following your colon (or semicolon) should be lengthened to express complete thoughts. Remember, the semicolon serves a similar purpose similar to that of the conjunction. It separates two clauses, although a semicolon creates a more marked break in the sentence--it's a stylistic thing, really. Using a colon in this situation is also permissable--again, stylistic.

Also...SociallyChallenged, "your's" is not a word--its yours.
 
"This is my space, Dad...organized to me may not seem organized to you."

However, the whole sentence is awkward. Try this for a re-write:

"Fvck off, old man, it's my room and I intend to pile sh!t up to the ceiling...should the mood strike me."
 
Originally posted by: SociallyChallenged
Originally posted by: nourdmrolNMT1
"This is my space dad: organized to me, may not be organized to you. "
Click to expand...

This is my space, dad; it's organized to my tastes, not your's.
Click to expand...
This is my space, dad; it's organized to my tastes, not yours.
 
Originally posted by: Ikonomi
Originally posted by: MaxDepth
NO HYPHEN!
You will shoot your eye out!


And the proper usage of a break in a sentence is not a hyphen, but an "emdash."
Click to expand...

Beat me to it. The em dash is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE form of punctuation.
Click to expand...
FYI to those who don't know--In MS Word, type two hyphens consecutively and it automatically formats to an emdash when you type the next character.

This raises another question--Should the first letter after an emdash be capitalized?

 
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