Is this normal behavior? Facebook related

[release213]

I am returning to graduate school this fall and I'm looking for a roommate (preferably someone joining the same program). I kept out of facebook for a while and never had a desire to start one, but I had to create a new account this past week to join the groups that the school created for new admits. I wanted to find a potential roommate using these admitted student facebook groups.

To make a long story short, I messaged this guy who had posted about looking for a roommate. Instead of sending me a reply like a normal person, he "facebooked" me because I'm assuming he wants to view my profile first or something. We are both grown men near 30 years old and I found this behavior to be odd. The entire admit group is meeting in person next month so he couldn't just reply about meeting me in person? I never received a reply and I don't plan to interact with him again.

 

[lxskllr]

Your first mistake was joining facebook. Anything that "requires" facebook isn't worth doing. For the rest, people are flakes. They do stupid, weird shit.

 

[release213]

Your first mistake was joining facebook. Anything that "requires" facebook isn't worth doing. For the rest, people are flakes. They do stupid, weird shit.

It was the only way for me to connect with other students who are joining the program. I am just looking for a potential roommate before the program starts. We are all grown adults near 30 years old and I thought I was joining a group of mature people. Instead of only "facebooking" me to try to gauge some social profile, the person could have the decency to respond and we could discuss this further in person like men.

 

[Williz]

Not really that odd, he just wants to check out your recent stuff on facebook maybe to gauge what sort of person you are. Also your syntax is off old man, it would be he sent me a friend request or he 'Friended me' not 'Facebooked' that's just weird.

 

[release213]

Not really that odd, he just wants to check out your recent stuff on facebook maybe to gauge what sort of person you are. Also your syntax is off old man, it would be he sent me a friend request or he 'Friended me' not 'Facebooked' that's just weird.

And he needs to know all that why and not just ask me directly when we meet in person? We're grown adults and not teenagers. I'm barely going to be seeing/speaking to the guy as we'll both be very busy.

 

[angminas]

Unfortunately it's pretty normal for a lot of people to "friend" people they don't know. Probably don't trust him with your SSN and firstborn, but doesn't mean he's an axe murderer. I never add people I don't know, though.

 

[surfsatwerk]

doesn't mean he's an axe murderer.

<.<








>.>



:whiste:

 

[nickbits]

And he needs to know all that why and not just ask me directly when we meet in person? We're grown adults and not teenagers. I'm barely going to be seeing/speaking to the guy as we'll both be very busy.

Creeping is easier and quicker.

 

[Vdubchaos]

Your first mistake was joining facebook. Anything that "requires" facebook isn't worth doing. For the rest, people are flakes. They do stupid, weird shit.

This

I think it's great that you ignored him......

Keep looking!

It was the only way for me to connect with other students who are joining the program. I am just looking for a potential roommate before the program starts. We are all grown adults near 30 years old and I thought I was joining a group of mature people. Instead of only "facebooking" me to try to gauge some social profile, the person could have the decency to respond and we could discuss this further in person like men.

Facebooking makes it easy for people to interact. Problem is, you don't get to see the person, hear them, smell them......and get a general atmosphere from them.

When they do show up in person, chances are you will never EVER consider living with that person.

Keep doing what you are doing OP. In person is THE best way.

Even though this behavior has become "mainstream" and "normal" to most, it doesn't mean that it IS normal (IMO it's not).

 

[Wingznut]

Facebooking makes it easy for people to interact. Problem is, you don't get to see the person, hear them, smell them......and get a general atmosphere from them.

When they do show up in person, chances are you will never EVER consider living with that person.

Keep doing what you are doing OP. In person is THE best way.

Even though this behavior has become "mainstream" and "normal" to most, it doesn't mean that it IS normal (IMO it's not).

But each method is not mutually exclusive. The OP could accept his friend request. And then also meet in person. Why exclude one option? He may even see something on the other guy's FB that would be an automatic deal breaker. Thus, saving time and effort in further discussions.

 

[M0oG0oGaiPan]

campus housing? why?

if it's offsite why bother trying to find housing with another student? just find someone on craiglist or through mutual friends.

some companies will look for social networking profiles when they hire someone. it's a quick background check and covers their bases.

 

[Capt Caveman]

I don't see the issue. He becomes a facebook friend and if you decide not to be roommates, you can unfriend him.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Your first mistake was joining facebook. Anything that "requires" facebook isn't worth doing. For the rest, people are flakes. They do stupid, weird shit.

This is stupid.

I belong to Charity groups, local groups and my local non-profit community farm where communications are mainly sent thru FB, let alone being able to communicate to all of my friends quickly and easily.

Interested in going to an event? Post it and see how many of your other friends want to go to. Same when you see someone else post an event that you didn't know about and now you're invited. Great way for my brother and sister-in-law to share pics of my nephew and my niece growing up. Need to ask a question like lots of folks do here, you can ask your friends who know you and live local. Etc...

It's cool to be anti-FB by the unsocial.

 

[Fritzo]

I've had a Facebook account for years, and I enjoy it a lot because I can keep in regular contact with friends and family that I normally wouldn't see for years at a time. ATOT is starting to sound like a bunch of 75 year old grandpas.

"What the hell do I need a MyFaceSpace account fer? So I can take pik-tures of m'self in a mirror or somethin'?"

 

[Vdubchaos]

But each method is not mutually exclusive. The OP could accept his friend request. And then also meet in person. Why exclude one option? He may even see something on the other guy's FB that would be an automatic deal breaker. Thus, saving time and effort in further discussions.

Sure, I'm not disagreeing with that.

As long as we agree that looking at someone's facebook does NOT reflect "reality" and some things he might see might sway him to NEVER meet that person again/or talk to him.

When in reality that person can and most likely is quite the opposite what you see on a "page".

Communication/impression of people gap is HUGE over the internet.

And we all know Facebook is simply a huge megaphone for retards/attention/self stroking tool.

:biggrin:

I've had a Facebook account for years, and I enjoy it a lot because I can keep in regular contact with friends and family that I normally wouldn't see for years at a time. ATOT is starting to sound like a bunch of 75 year old grandpas.

"What the hell do I need a MyFaceSpace account fer? So I can take pik-tures of m'self in a mirror or somethin'?"

You don't need facebook for any of that.

How about CALL THEM, or send them an email or skype them?

 

[Markbnj]

I don't think anything that happens on Facebook can be classified as to normalcy at this point. It's only been around for the last eyeblink of human history. Fwiw, I don't find the behavior "odd" in the current context of Facebook. Rather, the OP's behavior comes off as a little curmudgeonly. Of course, I approve of that.

 

[nickbits]

Sure, I'm not disagreeing with that.



You don't need facebook for any of that.

How about CALL THEM, or send them an email or skype them?

You don't need it but it makes it easier. I don't call/skype. FB communication is one step above doing nothing and that is about the level of socializing I tolerate.

 

[Fritzo]

Sure, I'm not disagreeing with that.

As long as we agree that looking at someone's facebook does NOT reflect "reality" and some things he might see might sway him to NEVER meet that person again/or talk to him.

When in reality that person can and most likely is quite the opposite what you see on a "page".

Communication/impression of people gap is HUGE over the internet.

And we all know Facebook is simply a huge megaphone for retards/attention/self stroking tool.

:biggrin:



You don't need facebook for any of that.

How about CALL THEM, or send them an email or skype them?

Yeah- that's practical. You would honestly call someone you haven't seen in 20 years or were "minor friend" to a decade ago?

Facebook is great for staying in touch with those kind of "sort of friend" people. It also can lead to some interesting opportunities. A guy I worked with 15 years ago recently asked if anyone could fix his laptop, and I told him to bring it over. After getting it fixed, it led to a paid position on the IT staff for a local non-profit, so I now get some nice, easy, extra cash on the side.

People are always having get-togethers, coordinating birthday parties, and lots of fun things too. You get notified about events, you only have to post in one place to invite people, and it is just plain superior than calling, Skype, or email.

 

[Vdubchaos]

Yeah- that's practical. You would honestly call someone you haven't seen in 20 years or were "minor friend" to a decade ago?

If someone is not close or part of my life, I simply don't give a shit about them or even want them in my life.

It's kind of like going to high school reunion.....

Sorry but if someone is not part of my life, I have 0 interest in their life or making contact.

ENABLING them contact to me is also a big NO NO. No thanks.

But if it's what you like, great, I'm happy for you.

Facebook is great for staying in touch with those kind of "sort of friend" people. It also can lead to some interesting opportunities. A guy I worked with 15 years ago recently asked if anyone could fix his laptop, and I told him to bring it over. After getting it fixed, it led to a paid position on the IT staff for a local non-profit, so I now get some nice, easy, extra cash on the side.

Again, I have no interest in "sort of friends"

And for the record, I HATE people that contact me whenever they need something from me. Those are the worse kinds...

People are always having get-togethers, coordinating birthday parties, and lots of fun things too. You get notified about events, you only have to post in one place to invite people, and it is just plain superior than calling, Skype, or email.

You don't need it but it makes it easier. I don't call/skype. FB communication is one step above doing nothing and that is about the level of socializing I tolerate.

In our family, we do that by calling directly (it takes 5 min, how lazy can you possibly be).. No facebook needed. Facebooking in a way is an "easy way out". It takes little effort and communication, calling someone is NOT a big deal and more respectful IMO. Whenever you speak to someone in person or even on the call it's better experience/better for relationship then bunch of text on your screen.

Relationships take time and effort. And that time and effort is also "experience" that makes the relationship better and stronger.

Scheduling a family event is similar to a road trip. It's not the destination (in this instance party or event), it's the journey to get there.

I'm sorry, that's just me. I'm not saying Facebook is BAD or one should never use it etc.

 

[Capt Caveman]

If someone is not close or part of my life, I simply don't give a shit about them or even want them in my life.

It's kind of like going to high school reunion.....

Sorry but if someone is not part of my life, I have 0 interest in their life or making contact.

ENABLING them contact to me is also a big NO NO. No thanks.

But if it's what you like, great, I'm happy for you.




Again, I have no interest in "sort of friends"

And for the record, I HATE people that contact me whenever they need something from me.



In our family, we do that by calling directly. No facebook needed. Facebooking in a way is an "easy way out". It takes little effort and communication, calling someone is NOT a big deal and more respectful IMO. Whenever you speak to someone in person or even on the call it's better experience/better for relationship then bunch of text on your screen.

Relationships take time and effort. And that time and effort is also "experience" that makes the relationship better and stronger.

That's just me

Good for you. For 100s of millions of people, FB is another means of communication.

 

[Vdubchaos]

Good for you. For 100s of millions of people, FB is another means of communication.

Following the herd is NOT something I'm into. If you choose to do so, be my guest.

Whatever floats your boat.

And yes, MOST people want to be stroked and are starved for self attention. Personally I have 0 need for that but that's because I get plenty at home.

 

[Soundmanred]

Following the herd is NOT something I'm into. If you choose to do so, be my guest.

Whatever floats your boat.

You don't have a cell phone? Home phone? TV? Video Games? Use a social forum? (Hint: Anandtech OT is a social forum.)
Having/using any of those is on par with "following the herd" as much as Facebook is, don't fool yourself.
Not being a social person is fine, but don't act like it's best for everyone. Facebook has some very legitimate uses for most people.

 

[smackababy]

OP, Facebook is the worst place to find a roommate. Craigslist is where it's at. Go look for ads in your area looking for roommates. It is pretty much guaranteed you will have an interesting adventure.

 

[smackababy]

You don't have a cell phone? Home phone? TV?
Having any of those is on par with "following the herd" as much as Facebook is.
Not being a social person is fine, but don't act like it's best for everyone. Facebook has some very legitimate uses for most people.

Vdub has made it clear he has zero friends. His only means of communication with the outside world is AT.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Following the herd is NOT something I'm into. If you choose to do so, be my guest.

Whatever floats your boat.

And yes, MOST people want to be stroked and are starved for self attention. Personally I have 0 need for that but that's because I get plenty at home.

Again, you talk about things that you know nothing about.

Yes, communicating to several hundred members of an organization is easier by phone, skype and email then making a FB post and expecting replies or getting an exact number and who is coming to an event.

And based on the bold, that's what you use this forum for. :biggrin: