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Is this grammatically correct?

F

Frost Byte

Banned
"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an intellect of american ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal, where one third of caucasians were not actually obese."


[edit, added SECOND LINE]

"The home of Labatt Bleue and inflated maple dollars was full of Cabenet-sipping aristocrats, which was a refreshing change from your conventional Jerry Springer rednecks."


Is this grammatically correct?
 
What time period is this? It would make sense to say "where one third of caucasians are not obese"

Also I want to know what is the purpose of that line. Is it to contrast it with the American weight problem? Then it would be better to say "where more than one third of caucasians are not actually obese" . Or if its the oppositse "where more than two thirds of caucians are actually obese"
 
"and an intellect of american ignorance" sounds weird

"where one third of caucasians were not obese." they weren't then but they are now?
 
American should be capitalized. Did your really mean to say "were obese"? I think you meant "are obese".
 
Originally posted by: n666
"and an intellect of american ignorance" sounds weird

"where one third of caucasians were not obese." they weren't then but they are now?
Click to expand...

Implying obese americans... is that effective?
 
Originally posted by: Xafgoat
wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?
Click to expand...

yeah, attitude or minset would be a better word than intellect.
 
Originally posted by: Frost Byte
"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an intellect of american ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal, where one third of caucasians were not actually obese."

Is this grammatically correct?
Click to expand...

"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an abundance of American ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal - where one third of caucasians are not actually obese."
 
Originally posted by: Mo0o
Originally posted by: Xafgoat
wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?
Click to expand...

yeah, attitude or minset would be a better word than intellect.
Click to expand...

Intellect is used correctly. In this case it would mean something like: having the capacity to think only in ignorant and conceited terms.
 
Originally posted by: Frost Byte
"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an intellect of american ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal, where one third of caucasians were not actually obese."

Is this grammatically correct?
Click to expand...

It's fine. The only tricky part is whether "one third of Caucasians" is singular or plural. Also need to capitalize the proper nouns.

Edit: One other thing--My personal preference would be " . . . the intellect of American ignorance . . . "
 
Originally posted by: kogase
Originally posted by: Mo0o
Originally posted by: Xafgoat
wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?
Click to expand...

yeah, attitude or minset would be a better word than intellect.
Click to expand...

Intellect is used correctly. In this case it would mean something like: having the capacity to think only in ignorant and conceited terms.
Click to expand...

But intellect is usually thought of as a quantitative term isn't it? Huge intellect, small intellect. Another way would be describing it as a physical quality, sharp dull. But conceited seems like an odd term to describe someone's intellect.
 
Originally posted by: Mo0o
Originally posted by: kogase
Originally posted by: Mo0o
Originally posted by: Xafgoat
wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?
Click to expand...

yeah, attitude or minset would be a better word than intellect.
Click to expand...

Intellect is used correctly. In this case it would mean something like: having the capacity to think only in ignorant and conceited terms.
Click to expand...

But intellect is usually thought of as a quantitative term isn't it? Huge intellect, small intellect. Another way would be describing it as a physical quality, sharp dull. But conceited seems like an odd term to describe someone's intellect.
Click to expand...

I think it's correct because the very usage of 'intellect' directly mocks and elaborates the meaning of 'american ignorance and conceit'.
 
Originally posted by: Mo0o
Originally posted by: kogase
Originally posted by: Mo0o
Originally posted by: Xafgoat
wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?
Click to expand...

yeah, attitude or minset would be a better word than intellect.
Click to expand...

Intellect is used correctly. In this case it would mean something like: having the capacity to think only in ignorant and conceited terms.
Click to expand...

But intellect is usually thought of as a quantitative term isn't it? Huge intellect, small intellect. Another way would be describing it as a physical quality, sharp dull. But conceited seems like an odd term to describe someone's intellect.
Click to expand...

Check M-w.com. It can be used in both senses. At least, that's how I interpreted their definition.
 
Originally posted by: Frost Byte
"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an intellect of american ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal, where one third of caucasians were not actually obese."

Is this grammatically correct?
Click to expand...

To me, the "this" makes it seem like you are talking to another person, pointing at a phrase written down on a piece of paper, and telling your tale of your past venture.

Is that what that quote is supposed to do?
 
Originally posted by: Frost Byte
"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an intellect of american ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal, where one third of caucasians were not actually obese."


[edit, added SECOND LINE]

"The home of Labatt Bleue and inflated maple dollars was full of Cabenet-sipping aristocrats, which was a refreshing change from your conventional Jerry Springer rednecks."


Is this grammatically correct?
Click to expand...

Are you really asking this question, or is this a not-so-subtle anti-American thread? 😕
 
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