Is this grammatically correct?

[Frost Byte]

"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an intellect of american ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal, where one third of caucasians were not actually obese."


[edit, added SECOND LINE]

"The home of Labatt Bleue and inflated maple dollars was full of Cabenet-sipping aristocrats, which was a refreshing change from your conventional Jerry Springer rednecks."


Is this grammatically correct?

 

[DainBramaged]

Why not.

 

[Heisenberg]

Sounds okay to me, but I ain't no English major.

 

[Mo0o]

What time period is this? It would make sense to say "where one third of caucasians are not obese"

Also I want to know what is the purpose of that line. Is it to contrast it with the American weight problem? Then it would be better to say "where more than one third of caucasians are not actually obese" . Or if its the oppositse "where more than two thirds of caucians are actually obese"

 

[n666]

"and an intellect of american ignorance" sounds weird

"where one third of caucasians were not obese." they weren't then but they are now?

 

[kogase]

American should be capitalized. Did your really mean to say "were obese"? I think you meant "are obese".

 

[Frost Byte]

Originally posted by: Mo0o
What time period is this? It would make sense to say "where one third of caucasian are not obese"

I'm writing about my trip to montreal from last weekend.

 

[Frost Byte]

Originally posted by: n666
"and an intellect of american ignorance" sounds weird

"where one third of caucasians were not obese." they weren't then but they are now?

Implying obese americans... is that effective?

 

[BudAshes]

wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?

 

[frodrick]

google "comma usage"

 

[mugs]

You have too many commas.

 

[kogase]

Also, I wouldn't put the comma in "Montreal, where".

 

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: Xafgoat
wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?

yeah, attitude or minset would be a better word than intellect.

 

[jds2006]

Originally posted by: n666
"and an intellect of american ignorance" sounds weird

 

[cKGunslinger]

Originally posted by: Frost Byte
"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an intellect of american ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal, where one third of caucasians were not actually obese."

Is this grammatically correct?

"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an abundance of American ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal - where one third of caucasians are not actually obese."

 

[kogase]

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: Xafgoat
wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?

yeah, attitude or minset would be a better word than intellect.

Intellect is used correctly. In this case it would mean something like: having the capacity to think only in ignorant and conceited terms.

 

[Banana]

Originally posted by: Frost Byte
"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an intellect of american ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal, where one third of caucasians were not actually obese."

Is this grammatically correct?

It's fine. The only tricky part is whether "one third of Caucasians" is singular or plural. Also need to capitalize the proper nouns.

Edit: One other thing--My personal preference would be " . . . the intellect of American ignorance . . . "

 

[Rastus]

What is the 'dangerous pickup line'?

 

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: kogase

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: Xafgoat
wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?

yeah, attitude or minset would be a better word than intellect.

Intellect is used correctly. In this case it would mean something like: having the capacity to think only in ignorant and conceited terms.

But intellect is usually thought of as a quantitative term isn't it? Huge intellect, small intellect. Another way would be describing it as a physical quality, sharp dull. But conceited seems like an odd term to describe someone's intellect.

 

[Frost Byte]

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: kogase

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: Xafgoat
wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?

yeah, attitude or minset would be a better word than intellect.

Intellect is used correctly. In this case it would mean something like: having the capacity to think only in ignorant and conceited terms.

But intellect is usually thought of as a quantitative term isn't it? Huge intellect, small intellect. Another way would be describing it as a physical quality, sharp dull. But conceited seems like an odd term to describe someone's intellect.

I think it's correct because the very usage of 'intellect' directly mocks and elaborates the meaning of 'american ignorance and conceit'.

 

[Frost Byte]

Originally posted by: Rastus
What is the 'dangerous pickup line'?

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

guaranteed asse & titte!

 

[kogase]

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: kogase

Originally posted by: Mo0o

Originally posted by: Xafgoat
wtf does an intellect of american ignorance and conceit mean? maybe attitude was the word you wanted?

yeah, attitude or minset would be a better word than intellect.

Intellect is used correctly. In this case it would mean something like: having the capacity to think only in ignorant and conceited terms.

But intellect is usually thought of as a quantitative term isn't it? Huge intellect, small intellect. Another way would be describing it as a physical quality, sharp dull. But conceited seems like an odd term to describe someone's intellect.

Check M-w.com. It can be used in both senses. At least, that's how I interpreted their definition.

 

[cKGunslinger]

Originally posted by: Frost Byte

Originally posted by: Rastus
What is the 'dangerous pickup line'?

Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

guaranteed asse & titte!

Would you lay with me tonight?

 

[Tiamat]

Originally posted by: Frost Byte
"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an intellect of american ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal, where one third of caucasians were not actually obese."

Is this grammatically correct?

To me, the "this" makes it seem like you are talking to another person, pointing at a phrase written down on a piece of paper, and telling your tale of your past venture.

Is that what that quote is supposed to do?

 

[cKGunslinger]

Originally posted by: Frost Byte
"Oh yes, armed with this dangerous pickup line and an intellect of american ignorance and conceit, I ventured into the cozy land of Montreal, where one third of caucasians were not actually obese."


[edit, added SECOND LINE]

"The home of Labatt Bleue and inflated maple dollars was full of Cabenet-sipping aristocrats, which was a refreshing change from your conventional Jerry Springer rednecks."


Is this grammatically correct?

Are you really asking this question, or is this a not-so-subtle anti-American thread?