is this a healthy way to raise a 7 year old boy?

[Zebo]

Originally posted by: ILikeStuff
I ripped the toilet seat off when I was around 9 or 10 because my sister got to go to a hockey game w/ dad... I also kicked a hole in the wall when I got pissed (don't remember what I was pissed about) I wish I would have had a punching bag to beat the piss out of when I was younger. Some people break $hit when they are angry, some people break people when they are angry and others verbally attack those around them,a nd then you have those who totally bottle it up and then bring an uzi into a McDonalds when they are 40 because they never found a way to vent their anger. I have learned to control my anger so I can vent it on something cheap/designed to be beaten, but If I don't voluntarily release in timely manner, I'm really not sure what would happen.

You start breaking sh1t as an adult around people you are subject to arrest and/or domestic violence depending were you are. Get this. It scares people and is'nt really considered acceptable behavior. Perhaps you need to seek out why you are/get angry?

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: dolph
uh huh... and what happens if you get mad and there's no punching bag around? is that the only way you deal with anger and frustration? there are alternatives to hitting things and just bottling it up.

suggestions?

 

[Krassus]

Actually, she's right. I wouldn't go as far as to allow the kid to throw things around, but a punching bag would be very healthy. In today's society, men are far too often feminized during their childhood. That's why you get all these desexualized males aka metrosexuals nowdays. But as i was saying, releasing anger in a way that doesn't harm anyone is healthy, keeping it inside is NOT. I'm definitely getting my little brother into bodybuilding and combative sports as soon as he's ready - those things helped me get my life straight.

 

[djheater]

As far as I know I believe it's pretty well accepted by mental health professionals at this point that the whole, "letting your anger out" thing is pretty much bunk. Anger and violence create more anger and violence.

I agree with OP, the woman is creating a violent child.

 

[Zebo]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
i've said it on ATOT before and i'll say it again.

all extremes in child raising can lead to problems. let him punch out his anger.

, whooop his @ss till it bleeds.

, talk him thru EVERYTHING.

face it people we live in a real world and in real world situations, one answer rarely covers everything.

when my kids were younger i used some physical punishment and i am on record as disagreeing with all the extremist who feel that ANY kind of physical punishment is just lazy bad parenting.

however because i've established boundries i rarely and lately never have to resort to it. my children know that a certain level of obedience is expected and they have accepted it.

parents must also show many different forms of love NOT JUST discipline. they must play with their children, study with them, eat with them etc. some people have termed it "quality time". for me, it's part of my daily routine. i try to spend as many of my evening ours with my children as possible.

in this case the big question is, WHY does he have soo many frustrations to let out?? i think i'd question the parents ability and willingness to communicate with their children.

 

[Walleye]

Originally posted by: Zebo

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
i've said it on ATOT before and i'll say it again.

all extremes in child raising can lead to problems. let him punch out his anger.

, whooop his @ss till it bleeds.

, talk him thru EVERYTHING.

face it people we live in a real world and in real world situations, one answer rarely covers everything.

when my kids were younger i used some physical punishment and i am on record as disagreeing with all the extremist who feel that ANY kind of physical punishment is just lazy bad parenting.

however because i've established boundries i rarely and lately never have to resort to it. my children know that a certain level of obedience is expected and they have accepted it.

parents must also show many different forms of love NOT JUST discipline. they must play with their children, study with them, eat with them etc. some people have termed it "quality time". for me, it's part of my daily routine. i try to spend as many of my evening ours with my children as possible.

in this case the big question is, WHY does he have soo many frustrations to let out?? i think i'd question the parents ability and willingness to communicate with their children.

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

1) At least she is educating herself in her attempt to figure out how to help her son manage his anger.
2) Unless you are living wiht the child you probably have no idea what the child is actually like, nor what his needs or problems are.
3) All children are different and need different parenting strategies. There is no 1 size fits all.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
i've said it on ATOT before and i'll say it again.

all extremes in child raising can lead to problems. let him punch out his anger.

, whooop his @ss till it bleeds.

, talk him thru EVERYTHING.

face it people we live in a real world and in real world situations, one answer rarely covers everything.

when my kids were younger i used some physical punishment and i am on record as disagreeing with all the extremist who feel that ANY kind of physical punishment is just lazy bad parenting.

however because i've established boundries i rarely and lately never have to resort to it. my children know that a certain level of obedience is expected and they have accepted it.

parents must also show many different forms of love NOT JUST discipline. they must play with their children, study with them, eat with them etc. some people have termed it "quality time". for me, it's part of my daily routine. i try to spend as many of my evening ours with my children as possible.

in this case the big question is, WHY does he have soo many frustrations to let out?? i think i'd question the parents ability and willingness to communicate with their children.

very well put. i wish i had you an hour ago with me in the lunch room.

 

[IEatChildren]

You can give a kid a punching bag to let out his frustration, as long as you teach him (as young as possible) not to punch anything/anyone else.

When I was a kid and something would piss me off, I'd slam doors and pound my feet on the ground, and punch things that I knew I couldn't break. It feels great, lets off some steam. And I'm not and never was the kind of person to hit someone. Well, unless they really push me over my limit, which is pretty hard to do.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: yamahaXS
1) At least she is educating herself in her attempt to figure out how to help her son manage his anger.
2) Unless you are living wiht the child you probably have no idea what the child is actually like, nor what his needs or problems are.
3) All children are different and need different parenting strategies. There is no 1 size fits all.

Dude she lives in boulder and reads those child rearing books written by quacks.

I do know what her son is like, he doesnt seem like an angry kid. She and her son come over to my house a few times a month so her son can play with my daughter who is the same age. Plus she gets along with my wife pretty good.

 

Originally posted by: IEatChildren
You can give a kid a punching bag to let out his frustration, as long as you teach him (as young as possible) not to punch anything/anyone else.

When I was a kid and something would piss me off, I'd slam doors and pound my feet on the ground, and punch things that I knew I couldn't break. It feels great, lets off some steam. And I'm not and never was the kind of person to hit someone. Well, unless they really push me over my limit, which is pretty hard to do.

when kids make you mad, instead of punching things, do you eat them?

 

[Ameesh]

Originally posted by: Citrix
just got into an arguement with a female co-worker. She is having some problems with her boy at school (learing problems). We were in the lunch room and she is reading this child psych book and she bluts out " I need to get a punching bag for my son" So i asked why and she said to let him release his frustrations.

So i then asked her if teaching your son to punch things when he is pissed a healthy way to learn to deal with his frustrations.

she replies " Yes it is, it is ok for him if he is pissed at me to go in his room and throw things." :Q

So i asked again, why is that healthy to teach your kid to throw things to release anger? Arent you concerned about him getting older and just acting on that teaching and punch somebody or you when they get mad?

her response "no, that would be unacceptable" :Q


My 10 years as an Air Force cop I had many domestic calls. 90% of the time somebody got smacked, and i firmly believe that they hit partly because it was a control thing but also because they did not know how to deal with their anger and frustrations. Most of the houses had lots of internal damage, holes in the wall, doors torn off hinges, broken furniture.... And I totally disagree with my co-worker that teaching a kid to punch or throw things when he is mad. I see it developing into a pattern where it will get them in trouble later in life.

tell her she is raising a wife beater

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: Walleye

Originally posted by: maziwanka
i agree with you. but i am getting a punching bag because it is a pretty good release for anger (but i am 22).

if i had a place to put it, i'd get a punching bag too.


(but partially for exercise, not just for releasing anger 😛)

Bingo.... The best thing to do would be to teach the son to release his frustrations, but in a positive way. As much as a punching bag is exercise, it's probably not the best form of exercise to pair with frustration. Get him to jog or do pushups or situps or something til he calms down.

 

[nutxo]

Originally posted by: DrPizza

Originally posted by: Walleye

Originally posted by: maziwanka
i agree with you. but i am getting a punching bag because it is a pretty good release for anger (but i am 22).

if i had a place to put it, i'd get a punching bag too.


(but partially for exercise, not just for releasing anger 😛)

Bingo.... The best thing to do would be to teach the son to release his frustrations, but in a positive way. As much as a punching bag is exercise, it's probably not the best form of exercise to pair with frustration. Get him to jog or do pushups or situps or something til he calms down.

aggression or aggressive releases produce more aggression.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: DrPizza

Originally posted by: Walleye

Originally posted by: maziwanka
i agree with you. but i am getting a punching bag because it is a pretty good release for anger (but i am 22).

if i had a place to put it, i'd get a punching bag too.


(but partially for exercise, not just for releasing anger 😛)

Bingo.... The best thing to do would be to teach the son to release his frustrations, but in a positive way. As much as a punching bag is exercise, it's probably not the best form of exercise to pair with frustration. Get him to jog or do pushups or situps or something til he calms down.

Thats what i tried to tell her. that punching and throwing things when angry is a negative way to release the anger. but she just doesnt see the connection.

 

[ReiAyanami]

the punching bag is a dumb idea, why waste money on the bag when you can have the kid just punch the wall.

since the kid is 7, the wall will do more damage to him than he can do to the wall
that way the kid will learn that violence hurts oneself

:Q

 

[ILikeStuff]

Originally posted by: Zebo

Originally posted by: ILikeStuff
I ripped the toilet seat off when I was around 9 or 10 because my sister got to go to a hockey game w/ dad... I also kicked a hole in the wall when I got pissed (don't remember what I was pissed about) I wish I would have had a punching bag to beat the piss out of when I was younger. Some people break $hit when they are angry, some people break people when they are angry and others verbally attack those around them,a nd then you have those who totally bottle it up and then bring an uzi into a McDonalds when they are 40 because they never found a way to vent their anger. I have learned to control my anger so I can vent it on something cheap/designed to be beaten, but If I don't voluntarily release in timely manner, I'm really not sure what would happen.

You start breaking sh1t as an adult around people you are subject to arrest and/or domestic violence depending were you are. Get this. It scares people and is'nt really considered acceptable behavior. Perhaps you need to seek out why you are/get angry?

Yup which is why I hit the bag, lift weights, etc. Much healthier and cheaper than breaking $hit, though I do have the compulsion to smash something or chuck it across the room when it is not going as planned, but I've learned to control myself in those situations.

 

[RaymondY]

I agree that your female co-worker need to approach the problem differently. Getting her some a punching bag is not the correct answer.

She needs to find another outlet for his anger.

 

[TheBoyBlunder]

Originally posted by: notfred
I don't see a problem with punvhing a punching bag. It's DESIGNED to be punched. Throwing stuff around the house is different.

 

[ILikeStuff]

What is wrong with violence? Why is violence such a frowned upon thing these days? I love being violent, as long as it's in a controlled environment and all in good fun, Martial arts, football, boxing... all great fun! I hate real fighting though, thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. go figure

 

[Schadenfreude]

Any acts of aggression is very dangerous because it tends to encourage violent behavior. Thin about football players/basketball players. Their aggressive tendencies are encouraged on the field, but are left to themselves to deal with their aggression when they are off the field. The only full-contact sport that does not result in evelation of aggression in athletes is martial arts. Instead, it lowers it.

TV psychologists telling their patients to take it out on a pillow = bad.

Thet's why they're TV psychologists. The best method would be to talk about it and let it out (without being vindictive - like for instance, not somuch "I hate your motherfvcking guts you sould-devouring demon-bitch", but rather [internal]I'm pissed off. I'm very pissed off. Instead of bring this up with the person/subject you're angry about, let's bring it up to someone I can talk to, and later confront the issue when I have a calm head[/internal] - "Hey so-and-so, got time to talk?"). Seriously.

The kid is prolly pissed that he can't get a new toy. I'm very, very pissed off right now (I teach kids and it's been a baaaaaad week) so I'm more inclined to say this right now, but if a kid of mine (biologically, not one that I teach - they're good kids) fvcks up/gets pissy about $hit like that, he's got a headsmack coming for him. If it's a girl, she's got a headsmack coming for her too.

 

[Ness]

I think you guys (and the lady) are missing the point here.

The punching bag isn't there to get the kid to hit something so that it teaches him that if he gets angry, then hit something... it's there to teach the kid if you get angry, take it out somewhere else and deal with problems in an acceptable manner.

The lady probably said the first thing that came into her head. "Oh, he needs something to hit!", will this is a valid option, getting a bike and having him ride the bike would be just the same.

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: ReiAyanami
the punching bag is a dumb idea, why waste money on the bag when you can have the kid just punch the wall.

since the kid is 7, the wall will do more damage to him than he can do to the wall
that way the kid will learn that violence hurts oneself

:Q

yuo aer teh l33tn3ss

 

[SammyBoy]

Dude, he's a boy. Boys have bad attention spans, fidget, and get angry/violent. It's better to let them vent this sh1t the natural way than to drug them up. While she may be a horrible mom, and obviously isn't doing anything to distinguish between anger management and punching people, cuz she's a dumbass, I do think that a punching bag could be OK for the kid. It's not like he's gonna be punching it 24/7, he'll get bored of it. SHTUTUPP!

 

[erikiksaz]

Originally posted by: notfred
I don't see a problem with punvhing a punching bag. It's DESIGNED to be punched. Throwing stuff around the house is different.

Nope, punching bags do NOT relieve anger/stress. Might as well have the kid play handball or something. This is what i've learned recently in psychology 😀