is this a healthy way to raise a 7 year old boy?

[OutHouse]

just got into an arguement with a female co-worker. She is having some problems with her boy at school (learing problems). We were in the lunch room and she is reading this child psych book and she bluts out " I need to get a punching bag for my son" So i asked why and she said to let him release his frustrations.

So i then asked her if teaching your son to punch things when he is pissed a healthy way to learn to deal with his frustrations.

she replies " Yes it is, it is ok for him if he is pissed at me to go in his room and throw things." :Q

So i asked again, why is that healthy to teach your kid to throw things to release anger? Arent you concerned about him getting older and just acting on that teaching and punch somebody or you when they get mad?

her response "no, that would be unacceptable" :Q


My 10 years as an Air Force cop I had many domestic calls. 90% of the time somebody got smacked, and i firmly believe that they hit partly because it was a control thing but also because they did not know how to deal with their anger and frustrations. Most of the houses had lots of internal damage, holes in the wall, doors torn off hinges, broken furniture.... And I totally disagree with my co-worker that teaching a kid to punch or throw things when he is mad. I see it developing into a pattern where it will get them in trouble later in life.

 

[Quixfire]

I'm glad you took the time to provide her with an alternative solution to her problem with all your years of experience.

 

[notfred]

I don't see a problem with punvhing a punching bag. It's DESIGNED to be punched. Throwing stuff around the house is different.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: Quixfire
I'm glad you took the time to provide her with an alternative solution to her problem with all your years of experience.

I did, just didnt post it.

 

[maziwanka]

i agree with you. but i am getting a punching bag because it is a pretty good release for anger (but i am 22).

 

[KarenMarie]

Tough call, I think....

Teach him to release anger by punching, breaking or throwing something, or risk having him keep it all bottled up inside until he explodes.

I thank God I had a girl.

🙂 KarenMarie

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: maziwanka
i agree with you. but i am getting a punching bag because it is a pretty good release for anger (but i am 22).

I also agree with you. But for a 7 year old? It seems a bit young to teach him to hit things when he is mad.

 

[whaleskinrug]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Tough call, I think....

Teach him to release anger by punching, breaking or throwing something, or risk having him keep it all bottled up inside until he explodes.

I thank God I had a girl.

🙂 KarenMarie

yeah, they just use passive aggression to destroy men 😉

 

[BooGiMaN]

ask her how her punching bag solution is working out when she comes to work with a black eye

 

[ITJunkie]

I don't necessarily think the punching bag is a bad idea, per se. As long as they (the parents) take the time to work on helping him figure out why he is pissed. I do think just saying "you're pissed, here...go punch something" is kinda messed up. FWIW

 

[Aharami]

Originally posted by: maziwanka
i agree with you. but i am getting a punching bag because it is a pretty good release for anger (but i am 22).

why are you so angry?

 

[Zebo]

I think she needs to get out the paddle for attitude ajustment before that punk is released into society. Better to disapline them young before prison get ahold of him and soceity has to the work for her. Of course is she has a real wild one a woman has no hope.

 

[Quixfire]

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: Quixfire
I'm glad you took the time to provide her with an alternative solution to her problem with all your years of experience.

I did, just didnt post it.

OK, then I will share my solution to a similar problem. My eight-year-old son, see sig, had a problem with lashing out when he is angry. After trying several different solutions I discovered that I was one of the problems. I have a problem with controlling my anger as well. The wife and I signed him up in martial arts and he has improved greatly, plus we have provided him a safe zone where he can go and be by himself to relax when he needs to.

 

[Walleye]

Originally posted by: maziwanka
i agree with you. but i am getting a punching bag because it is a pretty good release for anger (but i am 22).

if i had a place to put it, i'd get a punching bag too.


(but partially for exercise, not just for releasing anger 😛)

 

[KarenMarie]

Originally posted by: whaleskinrug

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Tough call, I think....

Teach him to release anger by punching, breaking or throwing something, or risk having him keep it all bottled up inside until he explodes.

I thank God I had a girl.

🙂 KarenMarie

yeah, they just use passive aggression to destroy men 😉

Actually, I just convinced her that she was soooo far above it all that she need not stress anything!! I taught her that she needed to be dignified no matter what!!! I told her to study hard, get into a good college, get a great job and become sao rich that no one could mess with her!!

🙂 KarenMarie

 

[tarheelmm]

Whatever happened to minding your own business???

 

[StageLeft]

People don't take out frustrations like that. You'll feel no sense of power punching a punching bag. You will feel power destroying something not meant to be thrown, and that's why the kid's doing it.

personally I think he needs a smack upside the head 😀

 

[Drakkon]

puching a bag is a great way to relieve stress and frustrations...but it really depends on the age of a kid...if hes older (above 13) its gunna effect him differently than if he was 7 or 8. I beleive physical activity is a great way for a kid to let out frustrations on his parents...if he wants to kick or punch a bag for a while rather than take it out on me or a sibling or some other kid then by all means its a great solution. Some parents just dont have a good way with communicating with their kids (mine sure didnt i got books for just about everything) and with little objects so long as the kid knows what its there for and why hes hitting it, it makes sense.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: tarheelmm
Whatever happened to minding your own business???

what ever happend to the troll hunters? She invited me in her business when she told me. I did not ask her.

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: Aharami

Originally posted by: maziwanka
i agree with you. but i am getting a punching bag because it is a pretty good release for anger (but i am 22).

why are you so angry?

not that im angry all the time but it would be a good outlet for those times im frustrated. but i have so much other sh!t to do i wouldnt be surprised if i postpone the purchase of this punching bag.

 

[ILikeStuff]

I ripped the toilet seat off when I was around 9 or 10 because my sister got to go to a hockey game w/ dad... I also kicked a hole in the wall when I got pissed (don't remember what I was pissed about) I wish I would have had a punching bag to beat the piss out of when I was younger. Some people break $hit when they are angry, some people break people when they are angry and others verbally attack those around them,a nd then you have those who totally bottle it up and then bring an uzi into a McDonalds when they are 40 because they never found a way to vent their anger. I have learned to control my anger so I can vent it on something cheap/designed to be beaten, but If I don't voluntarily release in timely manner, I'm really not sure what would happen.

 

[PlatinumGold]

i've said it on ATOT before and i'll say it again.

all extremes in child raising can lead to problems. let him punch out his anger.

, whooop his @ss till it bleeds.

, talk him thru EVERYTHING.

face it people we live in a real world and in real world situations, one answer rarely covers everything.

when my kids were younger i used some physical punishment and i am on record as disagreeing with all the extremist who feel that ANY kind of physical punishment is just lazy bad parenting.

however because i've established boundries i rarely and lately never have to resort to it. my children know that a certain level of obedience is expected and they have accepted it.

parents must also show many different forms of love NOT JUST discipline. they must play with their children, study with them, eat with them etc. some people have termed it "quality time". for me, it's part of my daily routine. i try to spend as many of my evening ours with my children as possible.

in this case the big question is, WHY does he have soo many frustrations to let out?? i think i'd question the parents ability and willingness to communicate with their children.

 

[Jzero]

Funny, I always thought it was considered "good anger management" to lay into a punching bag or pillow instead of hitting something valuable or living.

 

[tarheelmm]

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: tarheelmm
Whatever happened to minding your own business???

what ever happend to the troll hunters? She invited me in her business when she told me. I did not ask her.

I just dont understand why everyone has to be worried about people raise their kids and such. There are so many standards today that are considered child abuse that helped before. Why should a child not be taught to hit a punching bag to release some anger? If he got mad at another person, instead of hitting that person maybe he would go look for that same punching bag instead of hitting that individual? I can guarantee one thing, I was raised differently from everyone here and every kid today will be raised differently then all of their friends. Not to mention 'advice' in this thread is probably coming from people who dont even have kids yet.

 

[dolph]

uh huh... and what happens if you get mad and there's no punching bag around? is that the only way you deal with anger and frustration? there are alternatives to hitting things and just bottling it up.