I definitely wouldn't have wanted flowers at that age nor at the age I am now. Kids can be cruel and I probably wouldn't have let a guy getting a flower pass without comment at that age. Oh well, by your definition I guess the fact that I hate flowers makes me less secure about my manhood. I'm pretty sure that at 11 he doesn't have a CLUE what it is to be a man or what manhood is.
flowers to your 11 yr old son at school ?
Not an appropriate thing to do ....
Giving personal presents from parents to children belongs at home, not in the public setting of school. It has nothing to do with teasing & the same prohibition would apply to a daughter.
Not an appropriate thing to do ....
Giving personal presents from parents to children belongs at home, not in the public setting of school. It has nothing to do with teasing & the same prohibition would apply to a daughter.
I don't think it's the flower part of it that could cause problems, but I know my 9 yr. old would be bothered by getting anything like that at school from his mother. I used to stick little notes in his lunch - just dumb stuff, like "have a good day" or "good luck on your test" - and the kids were razzing him about being a mommy's boy. He'd love getting a flower, just not at school if it's from his mom.
I look at it this way - if I embarrass him, then I'm sorry and I'll try not to next time. But he'll never be able to say I didn't love him or show him affection. There definitely is a point though, where your kids are not going to want to have anything to do with you in public - for some people it only lasts a year or so; for others, it'll go on into adulthood. Enjoy your son while he lets you, and respect what HE wants - if he says he loved the flower and it didn't bother him to get it at school, keep doing it. But if he says he was sort of embarrassed, even though he liked the flower - send it to him at home next time.
Just my one cent on parenting boys.
I look at it this way - if I embarrass him, then I'm sorry and I'll try not to next time. But he'll never be able to say I didn't love him or show him affection. There definitely is a point though, where your kids are not going to want to have anything to do with you in public - for some people it only lasts a year or so; for others, it'll go on into adulthood. Enjoy your son while he lets you, and respect what HE wants - if he says he loved the flower and it didn't bother him to get it at school, keep doing it. But if he says he was sort of embarrassed, even though he liked the flower - send it to him at home next time.
Just my one cent on parenting boys.
The only problem I see with it has already been mentioned. What are the other kids gonna act like after seeing this?
Funny how the posts and opinions are divided by sex isn't it? Too many moms are afraid to let go of their "little boy" not realizing they are growing up. Understandable but selfish don't you think?
It was a sweet gesture. I remember as a boy getting little notes from my mother on my lunch bag or a napkin. It always made me feel good. That said, I wouldn't have liked getting a flower at school. Cupcakes, cookies for class were always fine by me!
My son is already 11. If I had sent him a flower at school he would have had to fight his way home so he could kick my ass. Girls may find it cute but for a boy it is not what is expected.
I'm not saying it's right or wrong. It's just something that could have made the rest of his school year a living hell. Next time maybe soda and chips would be better.
I'm not saying it's right or wrong. It's just something that could have made the rest of his school year a living hell. Next time maybe soda and chips would be better.
This kind of reminds me of the sing " A boy named Sue" 
If he was 14, he would have been scarred.
But at 11, I think it would work in a completely positive
light.
If he is really suave, he could say that it wasn't from his mom
but some hot chick secret admirer if anyone did decide
to harrass him.
And if he is really really suave, he may give it away to that cute girl in the plaid skirt and tell her he had it delivered especially for her.....
(wow, sending your son a flower could be like a built in stud checker....)
If he was 14, he would have been scarred.
But at 11, I think it would work in a completely positive
light.
If he is really suave, he could say that it wasn't from his mom
but some hot chick secret admirer if anyone did decide
to harrass him.
And if he is really really suave, he may give it away to that cute girl in the plaid skirt and tell her he had it delivered especially for her.....
(wow, sending your son a flower could be like a built in stud checker....)
Ah, the ones that say your son will be teased are the ones who worry too much about what others think. Which as we both know, your son does not. He is more secure at eleven then most full grown men.
Nice gesture~ = ) i see nothing wrong with it, grantedi assume he's big enough to fend for himself
sandorski
No Lifer
- Oct 10, 1999
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Hmm, ok, he likes flowers, he loves his mom, but. Like others have said, you are putting him at risk and not just a little, but a lot. He is at a delicate point in life and it doesn't take much to permanently alter one's future.
The fact that it was a flower and he is a boy is moot. His receiving it in class surrounded by a pack of puberty stricken friends who are begining to get initiated into the bizzarre ritual of social competition is the problem. You may have inadvertantly given his peers the ammunition they need for the next rung up the social ladder.
This is akin to delivering a bag of Hash to your son while he is at a cop shop or sending an American flag to a POW in Iraq. Some things certainly shouldn't be(a mother should be able to do what you have done), but reality is a beotch.
Then again, no harm may have been done, but such gifts in the future should be considered very carefully.
The fact that it was a flower and he is a boy is moot. His receiving it in class surrounded by a pack of puberty stricken friends who are begining to get initiated into the bizzarre ritual of social competition is the problem. You may have inadvertantly given his peers the ammunition they need for the next rung up the social ladder.
This is akin to delivering a bag of Hash to your son while he is at a cop shop or sending an American flag to a POW in Iraq. Some things certainly shouldn't be(a mother should be able to do what you have done), but reality is a beotch.
Then again, no harm may have been done, but such gifts in the future should be considered very carefully.
Certainly I'm sure your intentions were nothing but good, however, in most schools and with most kids, there would probably be some repercussions. I went to what I consider to be very good, safe, nice schools for my entire life, but something like that would still have some pretty stiff results. Mostly a lot of teasing, which, depending on the child, can either be traumatic or no big deal. It's the type of thing that would probably follow the kid around for a while (kids' friends would probably bug him about it for the next ten years). Even the kid's friends would probably tease him... and I disagree with people saying that if a friend teased him that they're not his friend. If anything, friends will tend to tease more than complete/semi strangers.
On the whole, I think it would have been a better idea just to wait until he came home. If he likes flowers, he can still wait until he comes home... the couple of hours won't make a difference.
On the whole, I think it would have been a better idea just to wait until he came home. If he likes flowers, he can still wait until he comes home... the couple of hours won't make a difference.
Bah, go ahead and feel good about sending your son a flower in a vase at school. As long as it was delivered by a Hell's Angels biker it shouldn't be a problem.
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