To clarify, for me life is a pointless drudgery. No matter what you do you are still going to die. You might find something to occupy yourself during the time you have, but in the end it's all for nothing. Even if you accomplish great things the world is full of thankless slobs. In a few years no one will even remember your name. Even if you are very famous the next gemeration will only wonder who that old guy was. All your life you work hard to make other people rich and in the end you die unremembered. That's if you're lucky. If life is really cruel you get everything handed to you. That's an even more pointless life than the poor man who earns a living and thinks he's happy. Happiness is just one illusion in this world of mirrors and shadows. Sometimes it seems like free will is the greatest illusion of them all. And that's why I despise being alive. I'm not bitter about it. I know that it's just the luck of the draw, and that I don't really have it any worse than anyone else. The universe just worked out so that I was cursed with existance, rather than someone else. That's okay.
