Is it right to spank a kid to make them more obedient? *update*

[Yo Ma Ma]

Is it right to beat a kid to make them more obedience?

Only if it's right that I can beat you until you stop posting. You beat a 3 year old into obeying, that's quite an accomplishment.

 

[iamme]

Originally posted by: Ronstang

Originally posted by: EngineNr9
I think it represents a failure as a parent/guardian to have to resort to any kind of violence, even spanking.

Then you obviously have never been a parent.....some kids push the limit no matter how you approach them and a good spanking is sometimes mecessary to get the message across.

i agree. at an early age, no amount of "reasoning" will get through to a child. they're just too young to understand. i think a spanking is alright in those situations.

 

[leung324]

it is kind of like a verbal issue here between "spank" and "beat." he doesn't have any bruises....so can I say I spanked him?

anyways, I found a better way just now. I will ground him next to me and he won't do anythings with my eyes watching

 

[leung324]

Originally posted by: iamme

Originally posted by: Ronstang

Originally posted by: EngineNr9
I think it represents a failure as a parent/guardian to have to resort to any kind of violence, even spanking.

Then you obviously have never been a parent.....some kids push the limit no matter how you approach them and a good spanking is sometimes mecessary to get the message across.

i agree. at an early age, no amount of "reasoning" will get through to a child. they're just too young to understand. i think a spanking is alright in those situations.

how do you define "early age." he can tell me why I spanked him.

 

[Silverbullet28]

I don't think he meant that he beat the kid like a piñata or anything, just enough to make it hurt and relay the message not to do it again.

When growing up my parents had me go out into the yard to get a stick on several occasions, as long as the kid was not hurting for more than a few minutes I don't see anything wrong with it. Physical punishment was a lot more effective for me growing up than any "time outs".

 

[bsobel]

Originally posted by: EngineNr9
I think it represents a failure as a parent/guardian to have to resort to any kind of violence, even spanking.

Can you tell us how many children you have, and of those (presuming > 0), how many you are involved in actually raising on a day to day basis?

Bill

 

[Isla]

It takes BRAINS to get a child to behave well WITHOUT resorting to violence.

Any f*ing idiot can use physical intimidation to get a response.


<---can make a roomful of ADHD toddlers cooperate without even raising her voice!

 

[Emveach]

You people need to calm down. My parents used the paddle you would get off that old toy with the rubber ball. When they broke out the paddle, we knew that what we did was wrong. If more parents today would step up and leave that "be friends with your children, and don't stifle their creativity" crap behind, maybe this world might not be going strait down the toilet.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Hubris
Spanking kids is all right, in my book. I was spanked when I was younger; not too often and when it did happen I knew I had really done something out of line. I was never bruised or anything, but a few sharp whacks on the ass and I stopped doing what I had been doing.

Making someone AFRAID of you, however, is a whole different story. Any child can be beaten into submission, but you're going to do a lot of harm along the way. And beating them with a stick is just unacceptable, as is beating a child that is not yours. You don't have the right.

right well said.

i was spanked as a kid. well i was spanked maybe 4 times. twice when i got caught shopelifting, once when i broke some windows out of a guys house (he stold my bat and ball i had in OURE yard!) and when i called my mom a "bitch".

now beating? if what he said is true then i hope you go to jail. but somehow i doubt what he is saying is true.

 

[Jugernot]

Originally posted by: leung324

Originally posted by: Azraele
Beat him or spank him?

beat him with a stick

If I knew you personally, I'd kick your ass myself and call social services and make sure you're never left alone with your nephew again.

Fuggin idiot!

 

[Isla]

Discipline comes from a word root that means TEACH. I've swatted my own kids on the bottom on rare occasions, but mostly, I don't have to.

You know why? I've taken the time to teach them the correct way to behave.

Spanking/using fear is the lazy way.

 

[brunswickite]

Originally posted by: iamme

Originally posted by: Orsorum
I call shenanigans.

 

[Jugernot]

Originally posted by: Isla
It takes BRAINS to get a child to behave well WITHOUT resorting to violence.

Any f*ing idiot can use physical intimidation to get a response.


<---can make a roomful of ADHD toddlers cooperate without even raising her voice!

Well said! I couldn't agree more.

 

[TuffGirl]

OT, but when did you become an Elite Member, Isla??? Pardon me if it was a while ago but congrats anyways. :wine:

Back to the topic, yes I think it is wrong to beat a kid or to resort to violence, whether physical or verbal, when disciplining a child, not unless other ways of positive reinforcement have been tried.

 

[PistachioByAzul]

Ignant and idealistic.

 

[leung324]

my nephew cried for a minute and still obeying me, so I think it worths. no bruise either.

btw, I grew up by my father beating me when I did wrong. I still remember how he beat me with all his strenght. that's something that I learned from him for not doing it. one thing, I hate my father. beating is common in a chinese family.

 

[gar598]

Obviously, or so I hope, the user who posted is embellishing, or plain out lying. I hope the latter is the correct assumption.

 

[Chaotic42]

Man, we used to get paddled in school for not praying before we ate, there have been a few instances where I had to go get a stick so I could be hit with it, and I never felt abused or any of that crap.

Of course, without being there, no one knows how bad it was or what really happened, so put the phone down until you've got the whole story.

 

[bsobel]

I think it represents a failure as a parent/guardian to have to resort to any kind of violence, even spanking.

Yeah, I've never been a parent.

That was quite obvious.
Bill

 

[Lithium381]

hey, maddox says it's alright! and he's awsome!

on a more serious note, i received spankings when i was a child, nothing too severe, but it got the point accross.....very quickly....

 

[Tinkerhell]

Whether its common in a Chinese family or not, you shouldn't be doing it, especially to someone who isn't your own son. And if it was your son you shouldn't beat him either. He'll only grow up to be bitter not obedient.

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: TuffGirl
OT, but when did you become an Elite Member, Isla??? Pardon me if it was a while ago but congrats anyways. :wine:

Back to the topic, yes I think it is wrong to beat a kid or to resort to violence, whether physical or verbal, when disciplining a child, not unless other ways of positive reinforcement have been tried.

Hiya, tuffgirl. Thank you... it's been a while, but it still kinda surprises me!

And back to topic again... there are very effective ways to train children without resorting to violence. I don't think a parent has failed if he or she gives a mild spanking to a child, but there are much, much better ways to motivate a child to behave well. Unfortunately, this knowlege doesn't just come with being a parent or a babysitter. These are techniques that have to be learned... and most people don't bother.

 

[PistachioByAzul]

.

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

Originally posted by: EngineNr9
I'm sure there are many kids out there who have turned into great people without ever having been spanked. But I guess it also depends on what your goals are as a parent. Like for instance, if you're raising your kid to be another normal, obedient shell of a person. Because I think that children are pure in spirit, and if the parent is enough of a thoughtful adult, they will be able to guide children with wisdom through words. What I've noticed is that the kind of things that create unreasonable children are endulgences like tv, video games, junk food, etc. Things that create a false, easy & addictive lala land that young kids who naturally don't know any better dive right into. That kind of sets a kid up to go into withdrawl, when faced with real life responsibilities.

Yeah, I've never been a parent. But given the state of our country and the world, what does that mean? How do we know most people are good parents? I think that having children has become kind of a sub-concious status, or rung, on the American ladder. My opinion is that people need to work more on their own minds before considering creating another life that they will be responsible for.

Sometimes words do not work. You cannot reason with a 2 or 3 year old all the time. Their whole world revolves around themselves, which is normal, and natural. A 3 year old can say "yes" and "no" and sincerely mean both. I dearly love my son who is just under 5. He is just like me, and somedays stubborn as a mule. Sometimes he gets a swat on the butt to get his attention, and that is as far as it goes. I have seen "free spirit" kids. They were banned from everyone's home including their grandparents because as they were smashing things, the parents were trying to reason with them. Any adult who thinks they can get any child to behave all the time is self-delusional. Kids have their own wills, and will constantly test the bounds you MUST set for them. Free spirits are the ones who are doing hard time in prisons as well as those who are truely abused. There is a middle ground. If you are ever have children, I give just one piece of advice. You are NOT your childs friend. You are their parent, and a family must not be a democracy. I understand yuor sentiment, and I mean no disrespect, but every parent/child relationship is different. To understand parenting, you must be a parent. Otherwise it is like a virgin trying to explain how sex feels.

 

[bsobel]

Originally posted by: EngineNr9
What's quite obvious is that you don't have anything valuable to say.

Yea, it's always nice when someone with ZERO knowledge on the subject comes into a thread and tells people how to raise children. There are a zillion threads in OT, surely their are some with topics you know something about?
Bill