Is it possible to change a person's personality?

[Pandaren]

I have a 17 yr old sibling who is going to college next year. He's a bit smarter than I am and more outgoing, but he is also usually terribly disorganized. His room is usually a mess, with books and papers piled everywhere, school supplies lying on the floor, clean laundry unfolded, etc. He doesn't leave dirty laundry around, thankfully, although sometimes water bottles and gatorade cans collect in the corners. It drives my mom crazy, because I was (and still am) pretty neat and organized. My mom is herself pretty organized and must have everything clean and dusted.

Whenever I go back to my parent's house, my mom always nags me to tell my brother to clean his room, to be organized, and to not throw stuff all over the floor. I think this is futile and that his personality just doesn't want or need the kind of organization that I need. My mom is insistent that I try to change my sibling's behavior, and this causes us to fight and argue.

So who do you think is right, and why?

 

[DaveSimmons]

> Possible to change someone's personality from disorganized to neat?

Certainly: using drugs, electroshock, torture as aversion therapy you can condition your sibling so that they are unable to bear the thought of an unkempt room.


< alex> :music: Singin? In The Rain :music: < /alex>

 

[Papagayo]

Sometimes tramatic experiences will change a person.

Everytime he makes a mess, hit him on the back of his knee with baseball bat. He'll learn to associate mess with pain and not do it anymore. If you hit him hard enough to give him a permanent limp, then he will remember it long time.

 

[DaTT]

Have fun trying...and report back the details.

 

[Jzero]

They must want to change. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

 

[gshock888]

Originally posted by: Papagayo
Sometimes tramatic experiences will change a person.

Everytime he makes a mess, hit him on the back of his knee with baseball bat. He'll learn to associate mess with pain and not do it anymore. If you hit him hard enough to give him a permanent limp, then he will remember it long time.

:thumbsup:

why arent your parents doing any active parenting though

 

[Orsorum]

One of my best friends is horribly disorganized - like, really, really disorganized, doesn't clean his apartment all that often either. His parents are the same way. It bothers me the most when he comes and hangs out at my apt and just leaves stuff out (like empty soda cans) at random places. Takes me an evening or so to fully clean up after he leaves.

 

[spaceman]

nope.

 

[ggnl]

Can you change him? No. He must change himself. All you can do is give him motivation.

 

[Kadarin]

If he enlisted in the Army, I guarantee you he would become a hell of a lot more organized and disciplined, in a hurry.

"Front leaning rest position.... MOVE!"

 

[axelfox]

I read in a newspaper article that more "successful" people are tend to be messier. Beats me how they determined "successful".

 

[Gurck]

Possible to change him? Not really... Possible for your mother to stand up and demand he live by the rules she sets while he's under her roof?

 

[notfred]

He's going to college next year. At that point, it won't matter.

 

[Papagayo]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
If he enlisted in the Army, I guarantee you he would become a hell of a lot more organized and disciplined, in a hurry.

"Front leaning rest position.... MOVE!"

Been there and done that.. Didn't work.

 

[gshock888]

actually if he finds a nice gf he'll be motivated.

i actually got my crap together and esp. now living with my SO now my friends say im a bitch for cleaning every last piece of dust on my desk, bedroom, bathroom, etc

but then my room at parents is still a mess

 

[deejayshakur]

are you asian?

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: Papagayo

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
If he enlisted in the Army, I guarantee you he would become a hell of a lot more organized and disciplined, in a hurry.

"Front leaning rest position.... MOVE!"

Been there and done that.. Didn't work.

Why not? Unless you went in planning to fail, as I saw one guy do.

 

[iamme]

when i compare how was when i was 17 to now, i think i've changed quite a bit.

 

[CRXican]

I say he should be left alone. Sounds like me, my room gets piled up sometimes but I get my sh1t done and do it well.

I clean when the mess starts bothering me.

 

[gshock888]

Originally posted by: deejayshakur
are you asian?

was that for me? yeah, how u know

 

[QuitBanningMe]

Yes. Go in once a day with a trash bag. Anything on the floor, not in its place, or unfolded goes in the bag. It should have started earlier than 17 though.

If he has roomates in college they will probably help him change his ways too.

 

[gshock888]

not if the roommate is more of a mess!

 

[QuitBanningMe]

Originally posted by: gshock888
not if the roommate is more of a mess!

true

 

[FoBoT]

your parents are WRONG

it was their job to raise your brother, not yours

they have no reason to tell you to try to change him, that is STUPID


<virtual trout slap of your parents>Whack!

 

[gigapet]

The marines will change his habits really quick.