Is It Possible For...males and females to be friends?

[Axon]

Originally posted by: PanzerIV

Originally posted by: Nanotech

Originally posted by: saxguy

Originally posted by: eakers
i was once told that a man and a woman can only be friends if the man secretly wants to sleep with the woman.

it makes sense.

sometimes it works the other way around too, and sometimes it's both ways. the operative word is 'secretly'. yes, it happens.

Currently, I have found myself in this situation although I don't know how secret it really is I just haven't come out and offered my services to her yet. I have known this girl since middle school and we were friends throughout H.S. and then throughout college as well but not so much throughout college. Now we are both doing the career thing, living in the same neighborhood, and it would really make sense for us to get together seeing as how close we have become. There are only two things stopping me from bringing this up:

1. I have never actually been just friends with a female like I am with her now (ie. we talk or email almost daily, go out and have drinks during the week or on weekends, she recently came on a weekend getaway with me to meet up with a bunch of my college friends at a lake house, she's my running partner, ect.). It's actually kind of nice and I'm not certain I want to throw a wrench in that!

2. She's a 23 year old virgin!

:camera: of her in the middle and me on the left (her right)

What do you all think I should do? Get some head or leave it alone?

That's a tough one, nanotech. You might be screwing up a good thing...only you can really judge the chemistry between you two. Plus, being so close to her that's kind of sad you would only consider her good for "giving head" when she obviously cares a lot about you.

Ironically, my latest dating experience was with a "friend" and now that we've broken up, it has completely ruined the relationship. As in we no longer have any sort of relationship.

I have a rule: I do not talk to Ex-girlfriends. Some people call this immature, and in some ways, maybe it is. However, I feel like talking to an ex allows them to "win," and I also enjoy watching them squirm as they try to get back into my world. Plus, it's easier, as I have absolutely no desire to hear about new men in her life.

Anyway, this girl was probably the closest friend I've ever gone out with. Our relationship, which has always involved sex, finally went to another level in November. Now it's over. She made an effort to call me during lunch at work, I said I had too much work to do and hung up. I haven't called her back, I don't intend to. Not the nicest thing in the world, but hey, she's no angel and she was a crappy GF.

The point of this ramble? If we had never gotten together, we'd still be talking, and this would be moot. But now I have all this retarted baggae towards her and I'm stubborn when it comes to ex's in my world.

 

[DrPizza]

I've always regretted that I never moved one of those relationships to the next level.
And, at the same time, I've always been glad that I didn't ruin an otherwise outstanding friendship.

 

[GrumpyMan]

If she's ugly we're friends but if she's hot then sorry no can do.


J/K ing.:beer:

 

[DAGTA]

A 23 year old virgin that is not ugly? Wow, I didn't know those still existed.

 

[Nanotech]

Originally posted by: AmericasTeam

Originally posted by: PanzerIV

That's a tough one, nanotech. You might be screwing up a good thing...only you can really judge the chemistry between you two. Plus, being so close to her that's kind of sad you would only consider her good for "giving head" when she obviously cares a lot about you.

I was thinking the same thing Panzer. He talks of this great friendship and then ends with 'Get some head...'?
You are either joking , immature, both or an idiot.
Show her your post and test your friendship.

It is a tough one but I never stated that all I consider her good for is "giving head". However, as far as sexual activities go I'm just being practical as that is as much as I would ever receive from her unless we were to get married which isn't completely out of the picture but not so likely.

As for the comment itself, I'm only contributing to the thread in the context that everyone else in the thread was conversing about (which was sleeping or having sex with female friends) so if you that is immature or makes me an idiot than so be it. It is just my deliemma and as of now I'm keeping our friendship completely plautonic but wouldn't mind sharing the same bed with her.

 

[SilentZero]

In my experience...No.

 

[Trygve]

Originally posted by: PingSpike
Thread summary: Young naive people will say yes, because they have yet to learn the lesson the hard way. Older people will speak from experience and will be ignored. That is all.

You've checked the ages of all the respondents, then?

Last I checked, about half of the world's population was of the opposite sex; that's a lot of people to cross off your potential friends list for no good reason.

 

[AmericasTeam]

Originally posted by: Nanotech

Originally posted by: AmericasTeam

Originally posted by: PanzerIV

That's a tough one, nanotech. You might be screwing up a good thing...only you can really judge the chemistry between you two. Plus, being so close to her that's kind of sad you would only consider her good for "giving head" when she obviously cares a lot about you.

I was thinking the same thing Panzer. He talks of this great friendship and then ends with 'Get some head...'?
You are either joking , immature, both or an idiot.
Show her your post and test your friendship.

It is a tough one but I never stated that all I consider her good for is "giving head". However, as far as sexual activities go I'm just being practical as that is as much as I would ever receive from her unless we were to get married which isn't completely out of the picture but not so likely.

As for the comment itself, I'm only contributing to the thread in the context that everyone else in the thread was conversing about (which was sleeping or having sex with female friends) so if you that is immature or makes me an idiot than so be it. It is just my deliemma and as of now I'm keeping our friendship completely plautonic but wouldn't mind sharing the same bed with her.

Well, I have to commend to for your value of no sexual intercourse before marriage. If that is in fact what you are saying.
Although I do disagree with it.

 

[Nanotech]

Originally posted by: AmericasTeam

Originally posted by: Nanotech

Originally posted by: AmericasTeam

Originally posted by: PanzerIV

That's a tough one, nanotech. You might be screwing up a good thing...only you can really judge the chemistry between you two. Plus, being so close to her that's kind of sad you would only consider her good for "giving head" when she obviously cares a lot about you.

I was thinking the same thing Panzer. He talks of this great friendship and then ends with 'Get some head...'?
You are either joking , immature, both or an idiot.
Show her your post and test your friendship.

It is a tough one but I never stated that all I consider her good for is "giving head". However, as far as sexual activities go I'm just being practical as that is as much as I would ever receive from her unless we were to get married which isn't completely out of the picture but not so likely.

As for the comment itself, I'm only contributing to the thread in the context that everyone else in the thread was conversing about (which was sleeping or having sex with female friends) so if you that is immature or makes me an idiot than so be it. It is just my deliemma and as of now I'm keeping our friendship completely plautonic but wouldn't mind sharing the same bed with her.

Well, I have to commend to for your value of no sexual intercourse before marriage. If that is in fact what you are saying.
Although I do disagree with it.

You must not have read my original post completely. I'm not the virgin who is waiting until I am married she is.

 

[Rainsford]

I would say yes with one condition. Neither of the people involved can be attracted to the other at all. It's not about control, "respecting" the other person, or keeping it in your pants. You cannot be long term friends with someone you want to boink, there WILL be hard (har, har) feelings for at least one person, probably both.

If there is no way you would ever consider your "friend" as a significant other, then maybe it could work. However, generally (IMHO), one person initiates the friendship with the objective of more, and "just" friends just sort of happens. So in theory, yes. In practice, not that I've seen.

 

[zephyrprime]

there WILL be hard feelings for at least one person, probably both.

So true. Too bad really. Sigh.

 

[V00DOO]

Only if she is hideous fugly. Then again who wants to be friend to a hidious looking girl.

 

[Schadenfroh]

a girl i knew said i was her best friend, she used to come over to the house and we would watch movies, play games, and go places together and stuff, but i ended it a few months ago and never talked to her since then. it was not going anywhere and i was not content being her "best friend". WTF do girls think that guys just want to be friends with them or something? Oh well, i guess i messed the whole thing up when i talked to her one night after she had went back home from my house she said that she wanted to kiss me so bad that she thought she was going to explode and the next time we were together i did not lay a finger on her (or anything else).

questions
1. Do females actually have some sorta dissillusionment that males just want to be friends with them?
2. Does kissing them throw some switch in their heads that switches you from friend to boyfriend mode?

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: Schadenfroh
a girl i knew said i was her best friend, she used to come over to the house and we would watch movies, play games, and go places together and stuff, but i ended it a few months ago and never talked to her since then. it was not going anywhere and i was not content being her "best friend". WTF do girls think that guys just want to be friends with them or something? Oh well, i guess i messed the whole thing up when i talked to her one night after she had went back home from my house she said that she wanted to kiss me so bad that she thought she was going to explode and the next time we were together i did not lay a finger on her (or anything else).

questions
1. Do females actually have some sorta dissillusionment that males just want to be friends with them?
2. Does kissing them throw some switch in their heads that switches you from friend to boyfriend mode?

Ok, sorry but...

She wanted you...and you wanted her...so you sat there like a dumbass? WTF is the matter with you dude? Poon doesn't grow on trees you know.

 

[luvya]

No, if she is hot. Yes, if she is fugly or just not your type.

 

[Schadenfroh]

Originally posted by: PingSpike

Originally posted by: Schadenfroh
a girl i knew said i was her best friend, she used to come over to the house and we would watch movies, play games, and go places together and stuff, but i ended it a few months ago and never talked to her since then. it was not going anywhere and i was not content being her "best friend". WTF do girls think that guys just want to be friends with them or something? Oh well, i guess i messed the whole thing up when i talked to her one night after she had went back home from my house she said that she wanted to kiss me so bad that she thought she was going to explode and the next time we were together i did not lay a finger on her (or anything else).

questions
1. Do females actually have some sorta dissillusionment that males just want to be friends with them?
2. Does kissing them throw some switch in their heads that switches you from friend to boyfriend mode?

Ok, sorry but...

She wanted you...and you wanted her...so you sat there like a dumbass? WTF is the matter with you dude? Poon doesn't grow on trees you know.

she said she wanted to be friends with me even when she said stuff like that, im a fvking dumbass, i was full of talk with her and never took any actions,

 

[Electric Amish]

I'm friends with my wife.

 

[rubisco]

Originally posted by: Nanotech

Originally posted by: saxguy

Originally posted by: eakers
i was once told that a man and a woman can only be friends if the man secretly wants to sleep with the woman.

it makes sense.

sometimes it works the other way around too, and sometimes it's both ways. the operative word is 'secretly'. yes, it happens.

Currently, I have found myself in this situation although I don't know how secret it really is I just haven't come out and offered my services to her yet. I have known this girl since middle school and we were friends throughout H.S. and then throughout college as well but not so much throughout college. Now we are both doing the career thing, living in the same neighborhood, and it would really make sense for us to get together seeing as how close we have become. There are only two things stopping me from bringing this up:

1. I have never actually been just friends with a female like I am with her now (ie. we talk or email almost daily, go out and have drinks during the week or on weekends, she recently came on a weekend getaway with me to meet up with a bunch of my college friends at a lake house, she's my running partner, ect.). It's actually kind of nice and I'm not certain I want to throw a wrench in that!

2. She's a 23 year old virgin!

:camera: of her in the middle and me on the left (her right)

What do you all think I should do? Get some head or leave it alone?

Tap it. You can find new friends.

 

[bleeb]

Watch "When Harry Met Sally" .... friendships between opposite sexes never remain just on the friends level... unless one of them is Gay or if both are married and their spouses are also friends of the other friend. But those still have the possibilty of something adulterous happening.

 

[Crappopotamus]

i have girls who are friends... some of which are attractive. ive known some of them forever, and its obvious we're just homies. its alright by me...

 

[Lithium381]

it happens i can attest to it personally, then again i'm only 20 so what do i know

 

[Trygve]

Originally posted by: bleeb
Watch "When Harry Met Sally" .... friendships between opposite sexes never remain just on the friends level... unless one of them is Gay or if both are married and their spouses are also friends of the other friend. But those still have the possibilty of something adulterous happening.

Hate to be the one to break this to you, but that was only a movie.

Oh, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer isn't real either. Sorry.

 

[compudog]

Yes. Some of my best friends are opposite gender. As Roger said, "once you reach a certain age, it becomes easier."

 

[brigden]

I think blazert40 hit the nail on the head.

Men and women can only maintain a truly platonic friendship when there is no sexual attraction whatsoever. Platonic relationships are easier for women to maintain, I think, and often, when a woman assumes she's in a true platonic relationship with a man, she might not be.

I have had a totally platonic friendship with a woman. We were very close friends in high school; she was like a sister to me. We had a lot of good times together, but there was absolutely no sexual attraction. None. She's married now, and we've lost contact, but I run into her brother once in a while and he says she still asks about me.

 

[melly]

I'm totally not buying the hetero/homo argu(e?)ment at all.

Hasn't anyone ever watched Will & Grace? Or that movie with Jennifer Aniston where she's inlove with her gay best friend and she keeps hoping he'll change his mind? I know it's TV-land, but I thought it was a reflection of society.