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Is it offensive to your spouse to get a pre-nup before marriage?

Originally posted by: baffled2
Don't you need to worry about getting an actual date first ? 😀
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i'm asking in general...would you be offended if your bf/gf told you they wanted a pre-nup?

-=bmacd=-
 
Actually, we have been talking about marraige recently and she surprised me the other day with asking if I wanted to do one. I think its probably a good idea to just get things laid out so you don't fight later. If...god forbid....you know...


Totally a CYA situation
 
Originally posted by: LordThing
Actually, we have been talking about marraige recently and she surprised me the other day with asking if I wanted to do one. I think its probably a good idea to just get things laid out so you don't fight later. If...god forbid....you know...


Totally a CYA situation
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cover your ass?

-=bmacd=-
 
It's like medical insurance. You need to have it but you hope to never use it, cause then you know everything is alright. It's good to have because it can save your ass down the road. As wonderful as things may be right now, sh!t can and does happen. This provides you a safety net so you don't lose the things you worked hard for or inherited that you decided to share with your spouse. As selfish as it sounds, its always good to have a backup plan.
 
A prenup is not about LOVE and your faith in the future together. It is about providing a security blanket to either/both party. If neither person has significant assets it isn't an issue. But if one does and the other doesn't then you are providing them with some security.

Imagine you are broke and she is a millionaire. You get married and after a year it doesn't work out. Do you really think you have a right to half of her money? The money accumulated during the marriage certainly, but you did nothing to earn a 50-50 split.
 
Originally posted by: bmacd
Originally posted by: baffled2
Don't you need to worry about getting an actual date first ? 😀
Click to expand...

i'm asking in general...would you be offended if your bf/gf told you they wanted a pre-nup?

-=bmacd=-
Click to expand...

Dude,at my age it's just a given you'll hand over the entire portfolio out of sheer gratitude 🙂
 
Hell no its not. When I got married for the second (and final) time in '91, I was making money hand over fist and she was a legal secretary...................we did one.....................since then, I messed up my back to the tune of Titanium Rods and 3 surgeries.................still have my business but don't make near as much.....................sent her to school and now she's an attourney!

But I'm the one with the prenup.......................go figure!😉
 
The best advice ever was from a divorced guy.

It's not neccessary to get a pre-nup, but it is a good idea to talk about the what ifs before you get married.
 
I would be offended, although I'm probably going to make decent money, and if my wife is anything like(or is) my current girlfriend, she won't make near as much as me, but I still wouldn't want one.
 
Isn't a prenup about existing assets, not future income? Some of these responses seem to be referring to future income which I thought was community property. In any case, when wife and I got married, both being professionals, we were close to equal in assets so the thought never even ocurred to us. I probably would have a prenup if I had significant assets and wouldn't be offended if she had asked for one if she had significant assets. It's part of financial planning.
 
Originally posted by: jjones
Isn't a prenup about existing assets, not future income? Some of these responses seem to be referring to future income which I thought was community property. In any case, when wife and I got married, both being professionals, we were close to equal in assets so the thought never even ocurred to us. I probably would have a prenup if I had significant assets and wouldn't be offended if she had asked for one if she had significant assets. It's part of financial planning.
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Yeah, I always thought that a pre-nup secured what you came into the marriage with. Anything made during the marriage is equal share.
 
a pre-nup is fore what you had before the marriage.

When my dad got re-married his fiance made him sign one (even though he has a bunch of money but she had waaay more). i guess she her late husband owned a huge business in CA when he died. She sold it off and made a ton. though her Father passed away like a year ago and he was rather rich himself. so that is not covored.

When i got married i had my wife sign one. I have a bunch in the bank (for retirement and hospital bills i will have later) and if we divorced i didnt want her getting at it.

Was she upset? nope she understood that marriage hopefully last a lifetime but its not perfact. If you have money and she refuses to sign a pre-nup then i wouldnt marry her. good chance she just wants your money.
 
When I think of all the painful things from my divorce,money doesn't even make it onto the list.

I'm going to give somebody my heart and not trust em with my bankbook? I don't think so
 
Originally posted by: baffled2
When I think of all the painful things from my divorce,money doesn't even make it onto the list.

I'm going to give somebody my heart and not trust em with my bankbook? I don't think so
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So you are willing to take the risk, that if it doesn't work out, that you will have to work the rest of your life? Granted that may not be the situation, but I'd be a bit pissed if things didn't work out and what I had saved for retirement, etc. before getting married went down the tubes.

I'm not willing to risk the future of my life when it could be assured by signing a piece of paper.
 
Originally posted by: baffled2
When I think of all the painful things from my divorce,money doesn't even make it onto the list.

I'm going to give somebody my heart and not trust em with my bankbook? I don't think so
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having talked to other people that have also gone through divorces, money seems to make it on quite a few of their lists though...

besides if there was some kind of heart insurance, i'd get that too 😛
 
in my opinion, yes marriage should be forever. so why would anybody refuse to sign a pre-nup? after all, the situation is never going to happen, and all it takes is a quick signature.
 
A year ago if my boyfriend said he wanted to get married and wanted a pre nup, i would have over reacted like nothing else. Now, i wouldn't want it any other way. No....THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT FEAR OF COMMITMENT. Like was stated above a total CYA situation. I expect to recieve some sort of inheritance from great aunts and grandma. I want to maje sure everone is protected in the even sometihng happens.
 
Originally posted by: ActPrincess
A year ago if my boyfriend said he wanted to get married and wanted a pre nup, i would have over reacted like nothing else. Now, i wouldn't want it any other way. No....THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT FEAR OF COMMITMENT. Like was stated above a total CYA situation. I expect to recieve some sort of inheritance from great aunts and grandma. I want to maje sure everone is protected in the even sometihng happens.
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so what changed?
 
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