Is it normal when your mother constantly says things to put you down and make you feel worthless??

[NutBucket]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Classic case of APS - Asian Parent Syndrome.

- M4H

Isn't that advanced photo system?

 

[Ornery]

"...a parent undermining their child's self-worth like this..."

What specifically did the parent say to make this a given? My step-sister would have said the same thing about my dad pestering her to pull her weight around the house. Adolescent girls blow EVERYTHING out of proportion, so I take what is implied here with a grain of salt.

 

[ghostman]

Originally posted by: Ornery
"Sure I've made mistakes.."

I'm sure we haven't heard the whole story here...

Indeed. Asian parents (...and I'm pretty sure you're [original poster...not Ornery] asian because of the Chinese New Year thread...) tend to be very strict, but they aren't cold-hearted. It really depends on what these mistakes were. Is it something that you regret? If so, then your parents are probably just concerned (and probably a bit disappointed in your behavior)...and they believe making you feel bad about it will prevent it from happening again (which it probably will...). It seems like they're trying to get through to you the way they would get through to a child. Perhaps talking to them will help.

 

[Electric Amish]

I don't know.... I've been ignoring her since I was about 14...

 

[newbiepcuser]

Originally posted by: busmaster11

Originally posted by: nativesunshine
I don't know what i've done to make her treat me this way. Sure I've made mistakes..but what child hasn't?

I really don't think I can take it anymore....

It is if you're Asian.

 

[KarenMarie]

Are we talking about nagging? Or insults?Parents nag, and kids say it is mental abuse. Parents spank and it is called physical abuse. Not saying that is the case here, but more than one sentence is needed to see what is going on....

Please, nativesunshine... if you are really living in mentally unhealthy conditions, then you need to talk to someone about it. Are you over 18yrs ols? Can you move out? Do yo have somewhere else to go? Someone you can talk to?

 

[BurnItDwn]

Absolutely not.
My grandmother sometimes does that to my aunt, it's terrible.

Move out as soon as you can (if you already have, than just stop talking to your mom for a while ...)

 

[Scrooge2]

I'm asian and my parents are a classical example of this problem. I used to have crazy thoughts about suicide when I was younger. But when I got to college and moved onto campus my parents changed greatly because they don't see me anymore. When I go home they used to miss me so much and really became the parents I never knew I had. Last year my mom got cancer in her uterus and had to get an operation to get it removed and during the time my family really clung together for her and I got to see how fraile she could be. (Usually she's a stubborn mean old bat =^) ) But what I realized is that most of my problems came from the history of our relationship and most of the anger comes from the past that interferes with the future and in some ways I was partly to blame. I treat her better now and I think she knows that too and we get along a lot better. Sometimes you just need some time away. I hope that helps buddy, keep strong.

 

[djheater]

My friend who is Jewish says he thinks it's a traditional part of Jewish culture for this to be the case. My mother is pretty supportive though when she found out I had impregnated my girlfriend, the first words out of her mouth were (and she NEVER swears), "Je$us, don't you know what a condom is?" She then asked if my girlfriend, (now wife) were on drugs, etc. I think she was a little bit floored by the anxiety and in typical hillbilly fashion reacted to it with irritability and accusation.

Now she's gotten to the point where she consistently takes my wife's side in any argument.

I <3 my mommy.

 

[WinkOsmosis]

I dislike Asian parents. All my Asian friends' parents are like that. I don't know how they handle it. My condolences to you.

 

[bo0]

Originally posted by: busmaster11

Originally posted by: nativesunshine
I don't know what i've done to make her treat me this way. Sure I've made mistakes..but what child hasn't?

I really don't think I can take it anymore....

It is if you're Asian.

 

[Siddhartha]

Originally posted by: nativesunshine
I don't know what i've done to make her treat me this way. Sure I've made mistakes..but what child hasn't?

I really don't think I can take it anymore....

Ten hours distance between you and her will fixed this problem.

 

[Ornery]

" I wish I was home...I so need some love and attention right now. As much as my mom annoys me...it's nice when you've got someone to be with." - Written: December 14, 2003

 

[boyRacer]

she's asian.

 

[stormbv]

just went through this nativesunshine. I know this hurts, but you're the only one who knows what's right for YOU. You're her child, why should she be judging you? Perhaps it's too hard for her to judge the one in the mirror.

 

[CarlKillerMiller]

I go through the same thing...

It seems like she's always complaining, so a few days ago, I just stopped talking to her.

 

[boyRacer]

Originally posted by: stormbv
just went through this nativesunshine. I know this hurts, but you're the only one who knows what's right for YOU. You shouldn't have to take that abuse from them, so stand up for yourself.

problem with that is... coming from an asian family... the moment you stand up for yourself... you turn into an ingrate... and become the black sheep of the family... geeeeez

 

[stormbv]

Originally posted by: boyRacer

Originally posted by: stormbv
just went through this nativesunshine. I know this hurts, but you're the only one who knows what's right for YOU. You shouldn't have to take that abuse from them, so stand up for yourself.

problem with that is... coming from an asian family... the moment you stand up for yourself... you turn into an ingrate... and become the black sheep of the family... geeeeez

My family has about 50 years of business wrapped up in family affairs, and since they were treating me more like an indentured servant than a son, I quit "The Family" and now I am the black sheep. Freedom comes at a price.

 

[boyRacer]

Originally posted by: stormbv

Originally posted by: boyRacer

Originally posted by: stormbv
just went through this nativesunshine. I know this hurts, but you're the only one who knows what's right for YOU. You shouldn't have to take that abuse from them, so stand up for yourself.

problem with that is... coming from an asian family... the moment you stand up for yourself... you turn into an ingrate... and become the black sheep of the family... geeeeez

My family has about 50 years of business wrapped up in family affairs, and since they were treating me more like an indentured servant than a son, I quit "The Family" and now I am the black sheep. Freedom comes at a price.

True... it just sucks when you see your friends being "free" without having to come to this...