Is it normal when your mother constantly says things to put you down and make you feel worthless??

[nativesunshine]

I don't know what i've done to make her treat me this way. Sure I've made mistakes..but what child hasn't?

I really don't think I can take it anymore....

 

[caitlion]

what kinds of things does she say?

its not normal to me..my parents are nothing like that. but im sure its not unusual :-/

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

just tell her that all your mistakes are a reflection of either her genes or inadequate parenting skills.

 

[Riprorin]

No, it's not normal. She must have some issues she's dealing with herself.

 

[geckojohn]

That sucks... no, it's not normal, but i've heard of some mothers doing that to their children.

Maybe your mom is going through some difficulties right now.... i don't know but maybe you should sit down and tell her how much it hurts you.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: nativesunshine
I don't know what i've done to make her treat me this way. Sure I've made mistakes..but what child hasn't?

I really don't think I can take it anymore....

move. best thing you can do. she wont ever change.

a buddy of mine has parents like that. they always put him down and treat him like crap. even though the guy has a great job (makes like 70k a year) and a great wife. its not good enough.

so he finally moved out of state. heck he moved across the US. since he dont get put down all the time he is in a better mood all the time.

 

[ghostman]

You're asian, right?

 

[Gooberlx2]

Maybe try confronting her about it? Tell her how you feel and why, and then ask her why she does it?

 

[AbsolutDealage]

Originally posted by: ghostman
You're asian, right?

LOL, that's what I was thinking.

 

[iamme]

Originally posted by: ghostman
You're asian, right?

that's what i was thinking. it's not good or healthy....but happens alot w/ asian parents.

finish school and move far away

 

[Booster]

Is it normal when your mother constantly says things to put you down and make you feel worthless??

I think it's b/c she's getting older and she doesn't like it. Kind of envy, you know.

 

[Chadder007]

No, that would be called Mental Abuse.

 

[GalvanizedYankee]

No it is not normal..Plz read,"The Shame That Binds" by John Bradshaw.

Its just a book on dysfunction in the family, where it comes from and how to
distance one's self from it with love. I read it 14 or so years ago. Good info that
I really needed at that time in my life.

 

[rickn]

your youthfulness is a constant reminder of her fading beauty. Is your dad around? What kind of things does she say? Is it lighthearted insults, like she say something and twists your cheek, or filled with cuss words and other colorful adjectives?

 

[rgwalt]

No, it isn't normal. She is probably disappointed with herself in some aspect, and is transferring that to you. Perhaps she had certain aspirations/dreams for you that you aren't living up to. In any case, just try to ignor her the best you can, and move if you get the chance. Visit, but not for too long. Call, but not too often. She will probably be upset that you don't stay in better touch, but at least you'll be happier.

Best of luck.

R

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: ghostman
You're asian, right?

Either that or her mother is Jewish

 

[K1052]

No, it is not normal.
It sounds like she is bitter about something and wants to take it out on you.

Confront her about what she is doing. See if she will change.

If not, move a good distance away when you are able.
The best revenge is living well.

 

[busmaster11]

Originally posted by: nativesunshine
I don't know what i've done to make her treat me this way. Sure I've made mistakes..but what child hasn't?

I really don't think I can take it anymore....

It is if you're Asian.

 

[pulse8]

Originally posted by: Booster

Is it normal when your mother constantly says things to put you down and make you feel worthless??

I think it's b/c she's getting older and she doesn't like it. Kind of envy, you know.

How can you possibly say that without knowing any more information?

 

[minendo]

Perhaps you should apply to become the next Dr. Phil family.

 

[NutBucket]

Originally posted by: pulse8

Originally posted by: Booster

Is it normal when your mother constantly says things to put you down and make you feel worthless??

I think it's b/c she's getting older and she doesn't like it. Kind of envy, you know.

How can you possibly say that without knowing any more information?

This is pretty accurate actually. Its more like she's growing up and mom doesn't want to let go. Mom doesn't want to admit her little girl is all grown up and can make her own decisions.

 

[Ornery]

"Sure I've made mistakes.."

I'm sure we haven't heard the whole story here...

 

[Azraele]

Talk to her about how it makes you feel.

 

[CChaos]

Originally posted by: Ornery
"Sure I've made mistakes.."

I'm sure we haven't heard the whole story here...

I think we've heard plenty. I hope you don't think that there's a situation that would warrant a parent undermining their child's self-worth like this. Perhaps you've missed the point of parenting entirely.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Classic case of APS - Asian Parent Syndrome.

- M4H