Ally24k, listen to me hon', it ain't gonna work. I am as single as they come; and I've never been married. I could not imagine living such miserable life with a man of such nature.
Let me put it more straight-forwardly: You have a miser sucking from you. And hon', believe me, many marriages (I know you aren't married. I say 'marriages' 'cuz women often marry men like that) are destroyed because of money (i.e., not being able to agree on finance).
1) This man is a kid. He sounds like one from all descriptions.
2) He is a miser. It is good in some sense 'cuz he will save. But he saves and will never spend it on you (or his kids if he ever had any).
3) Problems like this usually stem from a poor background. Most likely he grew up having to live by what parents could afford. Usually this results in children being lavish spenders or very stingy people for fear of losing all and being poor again.
4) He may indeed be saving for his future, but he will not change significantly. He'll always be a miser.
5) I understand that you love him and all. But never think you can change a man. They usually come as is. Habits aren't formed overnight. They are cultivated gradually after years of conscious or unconscious practices and experiences; and then they are very difficult to reverse. So, even if he was willing to save the relationship, he couldn't change quickly.
6) On such basis, you must either accept him as he is; or be patient waiting for say 12 years for him to change. Or you can walk out of the relation.
7) If you still want him but want him changed, walk out of the relationship and give him space to change. Don't try to change him or be a part of the change. Let him find himself first. If after finding himself he has changed and is no longer a miser, maybe you two can get back together (provided he isn't already taken). I can guarantee you this won't happen though. It takes forever for a man to really change . . . which may mean in his grave.
Hon', two extremes are the worst combination. It's always a failed and miserable relationship. On the one hand, he's a miser and on the other hand, you're a lavish spender. The two don't go together. It will never work. Don't try to push it 'cuz you might get what you pray for. It would be sad to bring kids into this world and have them have to live such life. Everyday will be mummy and daddy fighting 'cuz mummy's working hard, making something and spending for the family; whilst daddy claims to be making something but can't produce anything for the family. Mummy will instead be the head of the household. I always wonder why many women stick on to men like this than they would even to a guy of the opposite with whom they couldn't get along.
So, Ally24k, it sounds to me that you are trying to hard to hold on to this man for fear of not finding any other man to love or who loves you. Don't be afraid. If you continue that way, you're yourself being too emotionally dependent on him. Hence both of you would be leeching on each other in two senses (i.e., financially and emotionally). You aren't happy this way.
Save yourself from the misery before it's too late. Many women who came before you didn't learn early enough. Please, help yourself and don't fall into that pit when all of the signs are showing.
I hope you are able to make a good judgment in whatever decision you make.
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