is it normal to fight a lot with your bf?

[Ally24k]

I have been dating my bf for a little bit over 3 months now and it seems like everytime we spend time togheter, we get into some kind of argument about money. Usually we fight about him being cheap or me being wasteful. We always resolve our disagreements before the end of the day but is it normal to fight so much? In my past relationships, I always break up with the guy if we start fighting too much but I feel like I care about this guy a lot more.

 

[spanky]

jeebuz... i think its normal to have disagreements, but always abotu the same thing? i mean... u say that u make up by days end, but apparently, something is not getting into ur skulls.

 

[ggavinmoss]

I rarely fight with my gf of 4 years. The couples I know that bicker a lot don't seem to last...

I'm not saying "no fighting" is necessary, but too much is bad.

You should try "counting to 10" before fighting. hahhaha

-geoff

 

[LordJezo]

Umm...


If you are fighting every time you see him there is something wrong.....


That's about as basic as I can put it. Everyonce in a while is fine, but every time...... that's not normall at all... at least not in a healthy relationship.

 

[pyonir]

sounds like a big problem between you two. just get rid of him if it is that big of a deal. no, fighting about the same thing over and over again isn't healthy. move on!

 

[Eli]

I would say that "a lot" isn't normal. There's nothing wrong with an argument, as long as it doesen't turn ugly. People will disagree..

My girlfriend and I have never fought.. Not even an awkward moment in the last 7 months.. lol.. We get along way too well. It's almost scary.

The trick is to not get caught up in the stupid, petty stuff. As long as you can communicate, there is hope... lol

 

[Rainsford]

Me and my GF don't fight that much. We have our little fights, but not every time we see each other. But just see how it goes, I wouldn't break up with him just because you feel you fight too much. Once you start not liking your relationship because of that, then I would think about moving on. JMHO.

 

[Ladies Man]

money is the number 1 reason for divorce

in sort.. do yourself a favor and lose him

 

[yllus]

The three month mark is notorious for disagreements as both parties start evaluating where they are and where things are going. If this is a usual fight like you mention, it sounds like this is a big problem in your relationship - you're only apologizing to each other at the end of the day because for now it's not a big enough reason to warrant splitting up.

Normally I'd say get relationship advice about breaking up anywhere but AT, but case seems pretty cut and dried. Your boyfriend really is ass-cheap from what your other thread states. What good is money if all it does is sit there? I'm guessing you really know what comes next.

 

[Synoptic]

Has it alwyas been this way or just recently? I have noticed with me, as well as many of my friends, that relationships go through phases where sometimes you fight a lot and sometimes you don't fight at all. If it has been going on since y'all got together it may be a problem, but if it has started more recently then give it some time and see where things go. If you get to the point where you just aren't happy anymore then it is time to think about moving on.

 

[SagaLore]

Originally posted by: Ally24k
I have been dating my bf for a little bit over 3 months now and it seems like everytime we spend time togheter, we get into some kind of argument about money. Usually we fight about him being cheap or me being wasteful. We always resolve our disagreements before the end of the day but is it normal to fight so much? In my past relationships, I always break up with the guy if we start fighting too much but I feel like I care about this guy a lot more.

It is indicative that you two aren't compatible enough to stay together.

The two top things that spouses get divorced over - Sex, and Money. (The third is Religion)

My wife and I don't fight about money because we agree mostly on how to take care of it. But while we were engaged, she admitted to me she almost called off the wedding because I was unemployed for 3 months and couldn't stand being the one to keep the bills paid by having two jobs. Prior and after I've had up to 3 jobs simultaneously before but that didn't seem to bother her, accept when she was lonely.


I suggest you evaluate your situation and at least consider that if you two ever got married and had kids, money is going to be a big issue.

 

[db]

Disagreements (not fights) are normal for everyone. In fact if nobody in a relationship has a disagreement ever, something's wrong.
Anyway, the important part is this: HOW you resolve disagreements is what it's all about.
Resolving disagreements in a way that is acceptable to both is a recipe for compatibility.
If you cannot resolve disagreements in a way that is acceptable to both, your relationship and happiness are doomed.

 

[AgentEL]

its a bit cliche, but there's no such thing as an easy, problem-free relationship. Anything you care for is worth working for. I guess its up to you to evaluate where you stand in the relationship and ask yourself if the heartache is worth the trouble.

 

[WarCon]

I think disagreements are normal. If the disagreement spills past concern or voicing your opinion, then your looking at something that will build a growing wall of resentment that will eventually tear apart your relationship. If it goes to name calling you should start the process of moving on before you hate each other.

If the majority of disagreements come about from one or the other trying to change something about the other person, then maybe its time to look for someone more compatible. People rarely change for another.

I know you don't always get to pick who you fall in love with, but I always feel its best to let that love grow as a friendship if it won't work as something more rather than letting that love be slowly corrupted by arguements into something akin to hate. Only good thing about arguements is "making up".

Please don't take this wrong, but I also don't share details of my relationship with others and I ask my wife for that same courtesy, because it always comes back to you and always causes some of the worse wounds.

 

[GoodRevrnd]

I have a simple solution: you quit being so damn wasteful and he stops being such a cheap bastard! Everyone wins!

 

[PsychoAndy]

one question. is he asian?

 

[TuffGirl]

It depends. Do you get a lot make-up sex because of it?


J/k. Geez this is the same guy who eats chips and crackers and whose idea of a date is watching downloaded movies. I can't believe you're still with him! What's wrong with you?

 

[Aceman]

Two words for you to chew on once again:

DUMP
HIM

 

[gregshin]

hmm...me and last ex never really fought or argued...but when we did...holy cow it was like world war 4! we fought 3 times in 1 year and they were pretty bad...in the end it was better that we went our seperate ways...good luck find your happiness either alone or with him

 

[Aquaman]

Dump his ass............. is it really worth it?

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[Stifko]

Two words for you to chew on once again.



DUMP
HIM


good advice IMHO

 

[GoodRevrnd]

Originally posted by: klee58
It depends. Do you get a lot make-up sex because of it?


J/k. Geez this is the same guy who eats chips and crackers and whose idea of a date is watching downloaded movies. I can't believe you're still with him! What's wrong with you?

Splurging = Dorritos & CheezIts!!

 

[sheselectric]

He seems unwilling to compromise on the money issue. Personally, I think you should be with someone more flexible and understanding of your needs. At least "take a break" and reevaluate if this is someone you really want to be with.

 

[TallBill]

i think i fought with my first gf of long term (6 months) maybe... once?

and i fought with my last gf (4 months) maybe two or three times....

so i dunno.. i get along with everyone

 

[Platinum321]

here's my experience and opinion. when u really love someone.. u tend to be less willing to bicker about little things and just let them go. this usually ends up in a relationship w/ less arguments and a lot more joy. my senior year g/f was awesome.. not together anymore for certain reasons but it was the best.

my sophomore year g/f lasted about 9 months and we argued at least once i week after being together 3 months... sometimes i dont' even know why... a part of it also is that we spend a lot of time together so i guess argument get's easier that way. My HS g/fs.. i dont' remember arguing much at all.. but I didn't see them as much as I do the girls in college.

The last couple of girls I've been dating, if I do not have a strong feeling for them... I get irritable pretty easily and am less tolerant about mistakes and issues. anyhow, i learn more after each experience. so from where i am now.. i feel like just allowing yourself to be tolerant towards your mate is always a good thing.. of course.. having it work both ways is important as well. and from what i've read of your situation, sounds like the guy isn't very smart yet about things even if the intentions may be there. he might need time on his own to grow up because you being there is making it easier for him to justify being the way he is..

goodluck..