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Is it legal to buy a Monkey?

Kerouactivist

Kerouactivist

Diamond Member
I'm not planning on purchasing one, I'm just curious I would think it would be illegal.

Are perhaps some legal (like Spider monkeys) and others illegal (Endangered species etc.)......

It seems like it would be cruel to keep one in a house/apartment.
 
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little pest. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks.

"Now what?", responds the patron.

"Well, he just put a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."
 
Originally posted by: GnomeCop
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little pest. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "Now what?", responds the patron. "Well, he just put a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."
Click to expand...

Good one 🙂
 
Originally posted by: GnomeCop
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little pest. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "Now what?", responds the patron. "Well, he just put a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."
Click to expand...

😀 Nice...
 
Originally posted by: dpm
Originally posted by: GnomeCop
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little pest. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks.

"Now what?", responds the patron.

"Well, he just put a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."
Click to expand...

😀 Nice...
Click to expand...
:beer:
 
it is legal, but extremely expensive... licenses to own one cost 5k alone. also since they are not domesticated they are extremely hard to take care of... very very moody, aggressive, and temperamental. never potty trained.. EVER. have to wear diaper at all times. plus, because of their nature, they have to be bought young... and its hard to get rid of them since nobody wants a grown monkey. i know this couple that had to sell their monkey because they had a baby and the monkey tried to attack the baby because it was receiving all the attention
 
spider monkeys, along with other species were routinely available in the back of comic books in the 60s for $12-15. Of course it was illegal, but no one cared. My father told me of his friend who has one. It would sit on his shoulder fine, but needed a diaper because he couldn't control himself. It would pile up on the guys shoulder almost instantly. Eventually he gave it way because it started attacking random people. Plus, it came with ticks, so people all around were getting sick.
 
If I want monkeys I can simply visit ATOT and find hundreds of them,no need to buy one🙂
 
Originally posted by: xcript
Originally posted by: dpm
Originally posted by: GnomeCop
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little pest. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks.

"Now what?", responds the patron.

"Well, he just put a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."
Click to expand...

😀 Nice...
Click to expand...
:beer:
Click to expand...

lol nice
 
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