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Is it illegal to have monkeys as pets?

XMan

XMan

Lifer
I mean, they took Marcel away on Friends . . . but how come Michael Jackson can have Bubbles?

(note: this conversation was inspired when a friend asked me, "Whatcha up to tonight?" I replied, "Spanking my monkey", sarcastically of course. Eyes bugging out, his new girlfriend said, "You have a monkey?!?!")
 
"You have a monkey?" Ahahahahah! I'll bet your buddy just wanted to piff her upside the head...twice. 😉

I have read that monkeys make horrible pets due to their penchant for violence as well as their intelligence. They don't do well in domestication.
 
I think certain types are illegal, but not all. I used to work in a petshop here in Texas were we had a monkey, interesting animal to say the least.
 
Well

Some species are. Some aren't.

Also all major cities have laws against exotic animals.

So if you live in a city that doesnt have laws against exotic animals, you can have certain types of them.

Monkeys are only good pets if you can teach them to use the toilet.
 
Once upon a time I owned a monkey and a chicken. They never did learn to get along. My chicken was always spanking my monkey, and my monkey was always choking my chicken. It was quite a mess!!!
 
Originally posted by: cyco5150
Once upon a time I owned a monkey and a chicken. They never did learn to get along. My chicken was always spanking my monkey, and my monkey was always choking my chicken. It was quite a mess!!!
Click to expand...

*rimshot* You get an "A" for creative writing. 😀
 
Originally posted by: cyco5150
Once upon a time I owned a monkey and a chicken. They never did learn to get along. My chicken was always spanking my monkey, and my monkey was always choking my chicken. It was quite a mess!!!
Click to expand...

that was a poor attempt... you should be ashamed.
 
Originally posted by: gopunk
lol what a dumb girl 😛

and what, did she think he was really spanking this theoretical monkey?
Click to expand...

Yeah, I had her going.

"Why'd you spank it?!?"
"He peed on the shower curtain."
"Eww."
"Usually he wears diapers but he doesn't like huggies and that was all they had at the grocery store."
"Awwwww . . . what his name?"
(thinking quickly) "Marcel." (meanwhile my friend is trying deperately not to laugh.)
"How old is he?"
"Uh . . . three. I got him when he was just a, uh, chimp."
"Does he bite?"
"Nah, he's very friendly. He's gettin' kinda fat though, all he wants to do is sit on the couch and watch TV."
"Maybe you should put him on a diet?"
"I hide the food but he finds it a lot of the time."
"Can you take him for walks?"
"Sure. I've been trying to find low-fat Monkey Chow but it's hard to come by."
"He doesn't like bananas?"
"No, he's more of an apple guy, err, chimp."
"Does he eat human food? Like, say, ice cream?"
"No, he's lactose intolerant."

It was at this point that me and my friend just lost it. His girlfriend was kind POed but she got over it. 😛
 
Originally posted by: Bignate603
Originally posted by: cyco5150
Once upon a time I owned a monkey and a chicken. They never did learn to get along. My chicken was always spanking my monkey, and my monkey was always choking my chicken. It was quite a mess!!!
Click to expand...

that was a poor attempt... you should be ashamed.
Click to expand...
It's a Tuesday, what can I say?

<-- Hangs head in shame...
 
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