Don't you think it would be possible to judge sexual compatibility before marriage even if the couple waited until after they were married to have actual sex? Suppose they did everything short of intercourse on a regular basis prior to marriage. I think based on how well that went they would get a pretty good idea of how compatible they are in bed.
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Is abstinence from premarrital sex a completely antiquated notion?
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Don't you think it would be possible to judge sexual compatibility before marriage even if the couple waited until after they were married to have actual sex? Suppose they did everything short of intercourse on a regular basis prior to marriage. I think based on how well that went they would get a pretty good idea of how compatible they are in bed.
Poulsonator
Golden Member
So you're saying you can judge the sex without having sex. Um, no...that's not possible. Besides, what is "everything short of intercourse"?
phantom309
Platinum Member
This is the best explanation of the Christian view of marriage I've ever read. Thanks for posting that.
Poulsonator
Golden Member
Absolutely not. Oral sex is nothing like "traditional" sex so you can't really compare the two...unless you've never had sex and thus you have no idea what the hell you're talking about. Which, by the way, isn't a stab at you...I completely understand what you're trying to say. I personally don't think there's any way to figure out if two people are compatible sexually without having sex.
I know people who were virgins when married and purposely waited until then to have sex. In fact, I know a couple who moved their wedding date up 5 months because they were so horny. WHAT. THE. FCUK. Seriously...it's not the fact that they've waited until marriage to have sex that gets me. It's the fact that they've moved their wedding date up so they can have sex. That makes NO sense to me. Besides, sex isn't all that the first time. Hell, I was 17 and it was pretty awkward. I can't imagine being in my 20's and trying to have sex for the first time on my wedding night.
It's similar to a couple getting married before they've even lived together. How in the hell can you possibly be ready for marriage if you've never lived with that other person? How can you possibly know you're compatible enough for that?
It's cool if that's what you're into and that's what you believe. More power to you. To me, though, it makes no sense. Then again, people make such a big deal about marriage when in truth, not a whole lot of people consider that much of a contract anymore (see the divorce rate).
IAteYourMother
Lifer
😕 most retarded post ever?
IAteYourMother
Lifer
clearly the reason why most marriages end in divorce is sexual incompatibility
Poulsonator
Golden Member
Care to prove me wrong?
Well the hypothetical scenario was in fact my own experiences, and yes I will choose to wait until I am married to have sex. Some of the reasons are practical, some are more abstract, as I am religious.
However, I guess the point I was making was this: I could understand a couple who decides to abstain from nearly all physical intimacy before marriage having a large sexual compatibility issue after getting married and trying everything for the first time. I acutally had a religious teacher who apparently was like this - he claimed to have done nothing more than kiss his gf/fiancee prior to marriage. That would make a lot of sense. But in the case I was talking about - is actual intercourse really so much different than all other acts leading up to it that if two people found everything else to be very enjoyable, that they could still be totally incompatible when having actual sex?
IAteYourMother
Lifer
My comment was in response to your sarcasm, but thanks for playing
BaliBabyDoc
Lifer
Some of you are clearly ignoring the context of the post . . . Christian ethics.
For true followers of Christ, "ethics" refer to essentially everything. As for what God/Jesus calls us to do is actually quite radical . . . particularly compared to the way many "Christians" in America behave.
The New Testament (and certainly the actual words of Jesus) does NOT explicitly codify "chastity" before marriage. But it's the spirit of sacrifice for another (your future spouse) not the text that provides guidance. Accordingly, it's quite easy for true believers to understand what they "should" do.
"Marriage" is just a social construct designed to regulate an activity that can never be effectively regulated outside of the actual relationship in question.
Not to go too far OT . . . but we have the same problem with concern for the poor and violence. Christ calls all his followers to do EVERYTHING they can for those less fortunate. Yet many of his alleged followers in America couldn't be farther away from realizing and acting on this obvious truism.
People that typically talk about Christian ethics will dredge up the most ridiculous elements of the Old Testament and say, "it's as true today as the day those words were delivered by God to the prophets." But if you dare cite even moderate viewpoints about nonviolence, greed, or care for the poor . . . even the most obvious of Jesus' sayings fall on deaf ears or "it doesn't mean the same thing today."
For true followers of Christ, "ethics" refer to essentially everything. As for what God/Jesus calls us to do is actually quite radical . . . particularly compared to the way many "Christians" in America behave.
The New Testament (and certainly the actual words of Jesus) does NOT explicitly codify "chastity" before marriage. But it's the spirit of sacrifice for another (your future spouse) not the text that provides guidance. Accordingly, it's quite easy for true believers to understand what they "should" do.
"Marriage" is just a social construct designed to regulate an activity that can never be effectively regulated outside of the actual relationship in question.
Not to go too far OT . . . but we have the same problem with concern for the poor and violence. Christ calls all his followers to do EVERYTHING they can for those less fortunate. Yet many of his alleged followers in America couldn't be farther away from realizing and acting on this obvious truism.
People that typically talk about Christian ethics will dredge up the most ridiculous elements of the Old Testament and say, "it's as true today as the day those words were delivered by God to the prophets." But if you dare cite even moderate viewpoints about nonviolence, greed, or care for the poor . . . even the most obvious of Jesus' sayings fall on deaf ears or "it doesn't mean the same thing today."
DivideBYZero
Lifer
WTF has the law got to do with it? Do you need to show God the proof?
Schadenfreude
Lifer
I think not. I do not practice it, but I can wholly understand/respect their decisions.
Unless I'm dating them. :evil: 😛
Unless I'm dating them. :evil: 😛
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