JulesMaximus
No Lifer
You, of all people, should wait. 😉
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Is 25> too young to get married?
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You, of all people, should wait. 😉
Summitdrinker
Golden Member
in the modern world a man shouldn't get marrried until he is 26 years old, best marring age for men is 26 to 30, but at 20 it's not to early to start looking for the right woman
johnjbruin
Diamond Member
yeah - wait for some time - you are too young right now
TheToOTaLL
Platinum Member
I dated a girl for a year and a half before I met my wife, and was for sure I was going to marry her one day. She is what I would have considered my "first love". At that point I would definately say I was "young and immature" but things like that help you to grow up.
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
You're too eager. You'll probably marry the first person you meet and she'll end up walking all over you.
heres an odds defying story for you.
i met my wife when i was 19. we slept together and always hung out, but i wanted to go out and fool around before i got too serious with anyone. i went out and slept with a few other girls over a few years, but i always felt it just wasnt right. even then we never spent more than 2 days apart, and i was always in her bed. then, when i was 21, she got pregnant. we moved in together, and were married 1.5yrs later. we then got pregnant with our second chiild(class, lets learn a new word: vasectomy). so by the age of 23, i was married with 2 children. of course, all our friends and family were placing their bets on how long we would last, who would leave who, how fvcked up our children would be; you know, the same stuff you read here all the time.
8 yrs later we are happier than we have ever been. we are not wealthy by any means in the monetary sense, but we bought a home 2.5yrs ago, we have 2 decent cars, we can vacation once a year, and still buy the occasional toy for ourselves. both children are well behaved, have plenty of crap, get great grades in school and are in the gifted programs. even our friends have come around and admitted they were wrong.
of course we changed between then and now. weve grown up a lot. but i knew that i always loved her, and could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. thats one reason why we never used protection, because i was ready and willing to accept the "consequences" of those actions. any time i was away from her, she was all i could think about. i felt nothing as great as being with her.
im also glad we had children young. ive always loved children and knew i would have my own someday. having two young children was tough, but we always stayed true to each other and knew we could do it. im still young enough to enjoy them, and im not annoyed with children like most people older than me seem to be. by the time theyre 18-20 and going off to college, my wife and i will be in our mid 40s. also, when they decide to give us some grandchildren, we wont be too old to enjoy them and may have longer to be a part of their lives before we kick the bucket.
the point of all this rambling is this. only you can decide if its right for you. im in agreement with most of the posts here that diving in while young, or too early in the relationship, is usually a disaster. but thats the case no matter what the age if the 2 people arent being completely honest with themselves and each other. think long and hard and honestly. think those bad things, expect them to happen, and be as honest as you can with yourself about how you will deal with life. get your best friend to play the "bad guy" and challenge you with all the reasons why you shouldnt and see if you honestly are commited and ready to deal with it. do not get married for any reason(money, the military, youre going to have to settle, etc.) other than you want to spend your life with that woman because you love her, flaws and all, and are commited to spending the rest of your life with her, no matter what.
it can be done, with some effort, if its the right thing to do. good luck!
i met my wife when i was 19. we slept together and always hung out, but i wanted to go out and fool around before i got too serious with anyone. i went out and slept with a few other girls over a few years, but i always felt it just wasnt right. even then we never spent more than 2 days apart, and i was always in her bed. then, when i was 21, she got pregnant. we moved in together, and were married 1.5yrs later. we then got pregnant with our second chiild(class, lets learn a new word: vasectomy). so by the age of 23, i was married with 2 children. of course, all our friends and family were placing their bets on how long we would last, who would leave who, how fvcked up our children would be; you know, the same stuff you read here all the time.
8 yrs later we are happier than we have ever been. we are not wealthy by any means in the monetary sense, but we bought a home 2.5yrs ago, we have 2 decent cars, we can vacation once a year, and still buy the occasional toy for ourselves. both children are well behaved, have plenty of crap, get great grades in school and are in the gifted programs. even our friends have come around and admitted they were wrong.
of course we changed between then and now. weve grown up a lot. but i knew that i always loved her, and could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. thats one reason why we never used protection, because i was ready and willing to accept the "consequences" of those actions. any time i was away from her, she was all i could think about. i felt nothing as great as being with her.
im also glad we had children young. ive always loved children and knew i would have my own someday. having two young children was tough, but we always stayed true to each other and knew we could do it. im still young enough to enjoy them, and im not annoyed with children like most people older than me seem to be. by the time theyre 18-20 and going off to college, my wife and i will be in our mid 40s. also, when they decide to give us some grandchildren, we wont be too old to enjoy them and may have longer to be a part of their lives before we kick the bucket.
the point of all this rambling is this. only you can decide if its right for you. im in agreement with most of the posts here that diving in while young, or too early in the relationship, is usually a disaster. but thats the case no matter what the age if the 2 people arent being completely honest with themselves and each other. think long and hard and honestly. think those bad things, expect them to happen, and be as honest as you can with yourself about how you will deal with life. get your best friend to play the "bad guy" and challenge you with all the reasons why you shouldnt and see if you honestly are commited and ready to deal with it. do not get married for any reason(money, the military, youre going to have to settle, etc.) other than you want to spend your life with that woman because you love her, flaws and all, and are commited to spending the rest of your life with her, no matter what.
it can be done, with some effort, if its the right thing to do. good luck!
nakedfrog
No Lifer
We enlisted usually respected officers who had been enlisted previously more than regular officers. I can't vouch for officer-officer respect, though, since I never was one.
I was actually Satcom (satellite/wideband communications - was 2E1x1 AFSC when I was in). It would actually be a pretty decent one, especially if you can get assigned to a fixed terminal, but the majority of Satcom jobs are mobility. You can go in guaranteed to a specific job, or within a specific job field.
radioouman
Diamond Member
I got married at 22 and I regret it. I will be 26 in June and I'm finally getting to the point where I want to settle down. It has been a rocky road for her, and it was caused by me.
Well, I don't think people should be getting married this young either. I'm 28 and not married. Almost got engaged at 22/23. Thank god I held out.
Like everyone keeps saying, people change. People need to mature. I know I've changed and most definitely matured. I'm more mellow and I think just a little more before I open my mouth.
offtopic:
I got a 97 on my ASVAB and was told I could have any job I wanted. Except a. it scares me that I had that high of a score in regards to my act score (24) and b. The recruiter wants me to sign away a few years of my life after he tells me I can't fly a jet because I wear classes. "so, are you ready to sign up?" Still makes my blood boil...that was 10 years ago.
Like everyone keeps saying, people change. People need to mature. I know I've changed and most definitely matured. I'm more mellow and I think just a little more before I open my mouth.
offtopic:
I got a 97 on my ASVAB and was told I could have any job I wanted. Except a. it scares me that I had that high of a score in regards to my act score (24) and b. The recruiter wants me to sign away a few years of my life after he tells me I can't fly a jet because I wear classes. "so, are you ready to sign up?" Still makes my blood boil...that was 10 years ago.
NoToRiOuS1
Golden Member
I'm sure you've heard this...and if you haven't...hear it now...
DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING THE RECRUITER SAYS...EVER...
i almost got forced into the army when a recruiter lied to me when i was 18...he littereally lied about what i was about to sign...fortunately i found out in time...
i still plan on joining the armed forces(prolly air force as well)...but thats after im done with college so i can go in as an officer...i know ill be pushing paper like crazy...but at least it pays better than the army and the living conditions are better too....the marriage thing...if i were in your situation, id wait until i was at least 25...but thats me and thats because of the experiences i've had...you have to decide on your own...but JUST BE CAREFUL ABOUT RECRUITERS...
I am one who thinks that is dependent on the individual, some are ready at 18, some at 25, and some are never ready.
My quick life story (against the odds):
I was married at 20 (Wife was 18).
Children came at regular intervals where we now have 7 children and have just passed the 20 year mark. We have both changed but we have also become dependent on each
other in the best of all ways, we give each other the love each deserves. I could have
waited but then I would not have the wonderful children I have now. My children range in
age from 19 to 8 at this point in time. It is not easy financially, but we live comfortably
and I have learned to do alot of things that some people hire others to do.
The most important thing is once you are in a committed relationship, you put your time
and effort into and do not bail at the first disagreement. If you both are interested in
making the relationship work you will find a way to make it work. I think I did alot of maturing since the time I got married and did it along with my wife. The cool thing is I am
now 40 and do not have any toddlers running around. I went to my 20 year high school
reunion (2 years ago) and there were people there that had just started having children.
I for one would not want to be having children past the age of 35. Yes you typically are
most mature by that age, but typically your body starts to betray you (even if you
excercise and stay fit). In the past 2 years I have started working out on a regular basis
and I am more fit that I have been in the 10 years prior to that. Even with being fit, I can
tell I get more worn down, more easily. But I give people 10 years younger than me a
run for their money.
By the time I am 51, all my children will have graduated from high school.
If I had stopped at 4 children, all would be graduated by the time I would reach 44.
I guess my wife and I have been "lucky" by todays standards. I do not attribute luck to
it, there have been whopper fights, but we got married for life and do not let fights
get us to thinking that it is over. We also have the advantage that neither of us drinks
alcohol, takes illicit drugs or is abusive. I could see where people need to consider abandoning a relationship were bads things are involved.
Hope this inspires people (it can be done from a young age).
P.S. - The funny thing is, I was told by my relatives that I was too young to get married
and one relative even said, "Married in haste, repent in leisure". The even funnier thing
is that 2 of my siblings got married when they were older (and had been in longer relationships prior to their marriage and were divorced within no more than 5 years).
My brother was going out for 7 years with his wife and was divorced in under a year.
(His best man even told him the night of the wedding that he gave the marriage a year.
SO it all depends on the individuals.
My quick life story (against the odds):
I was married at 20 (Wife was 18).
Children came at regular intervals where we now have 7 children and have just passed the 20 year mark. We have both changed but we have also become dependent on each
other in the best of all ways, we give each other the love each deserves. I could have
waited but then I would not have the wonderful children I have now. My children range in
age from 19 to 8 at this point in time. It is not easy financially, but we live comfortably
and I have learned to do alot of things that some people hire others to do.
The most important thing is once you are in a committed relationship, you put your time
and effort into and do not bail at the first disagreement. If you both are interested in
making the relationship work you will find a way to make it work. I think I did alot of maturing since the time I got married and did it along with my wife. The cool thing is I am
now 40 and do not have any toddlers running around. I went to my 20 year high school
reunion (2 years ago) and there were people there that had just started having children.
I for one would not want to be having children past the age of 35. Yes you typically are
most mature by that age, but typically your body starts to betray you (even if you
excercise and stay fit). In the past 2 years I have started working out on a regular basis
and I am more fit that I have been in the 10 years prior to that. Even with being fit, I can
tell I get more worn down, more easily. But I give people 10 years younger than me a
run for their money.
By the time I am 51, all my children will have graduated from high school.
If I had stopped at 4 children, all would be graduated by the time I would reach 44.
I guess my wife and I have been "lucky" by todays standards. I do not attribute luck to
it, there have been whopper fights, but we got married for life and do not let fights
get us to thinking that it is over. We also have the advantage that neither of us drinks
alcohol, takes illicit drugs or is abusive. I could see where people need to consider abandoning a relationship were bads things are involved.
Hope this inspires people (it can be done from a young age).
P.S. - The funny thing is, I was told by my relatives that I was too young to get married
and one relative even said, "Married in haste, repent in leisure". The even funnier thing
is that 2 of my siblings got married when they were older (and had been in longer relationships prior to their marriage and were divorced within no more than 5 years).
My brother was going out for 7 years with his wife and was divorced in under a year.
(His best man even told him the night of the wedding that he gave the marriage a year.
SO it all depends on the individuals.
Only you can make that decision for yourself. I don't know why you're asking for advice from people who don't know you or your girlfriend. Ask your close friends and your family about it. They will give you the best advice because they know your exact situation.
As for your military plan, I was about the do the same thing. But I think we both know that if you went and got that 4 year degree first, you'd be better off in the end. Air Force Officers have some great opportunities and get way better pay, and because just about any idiot (no offense) can join the military I don't think you'll impress employers too much with your E-4 rank.
I only wanted to enlist to be the boom master, because they travel a lot and have a kickass flight crew job, plus I was eager and didn't want to put 4 years of college in. But if you want stability and a future, I don't see why you wouldn't go for being an officer.
The recruiters job is to enlist people. Now I'd trust an AF recruiter more than an Army or Marine one, but still remember where their interests lay while they tell you that enlisting is the way to go.
As for your military plan, I was about the do the same thing. But I think we both know that if you went and got that 4 year degree first, you'd be better off in the end. Air Force Officers have some great opportunities and get way better pay, and because just about any idiot (no offense) can join the military I don't think you'll impress employers too much with your E-4 rank.
I only wanted to enlist to be the boom master, because they travel a lot and have a kickass flight crew job, plus I was eager and didn't want to put 4 years of college in. But if you want stability and a future, I don't see why you wouldn't go for being an officer.
The recruiters job is to enlist people. Now I'd trust an AF recruiter more than an Army or Marine one, but still remember where their interests lay while they tell you that enlisting is the way to go.
Sphexi
Diamond Member
I'm 24, gonna be married later on this summer, we've known each other 7 years now, been together seriously about 1.5 years, we've both done the dating thing, both hated it, the time we spend together even doing nothing is so much more enjoyable than anything I ever did with the several girls I've dated over the past 10 years. So no, it's not too young to get married, if you're committed and you're sure about what you want to do.
AntiEverything
Senior member
Hehe, I forgot to mention, young military wives turn out to be whores. I hate to be so blunt, but that's the way it is. I was in the service myself, and knew a lot of married people in the service. Navy is the worst, with one or both spouses out to sea for long periods. But other branches are pretty bad also. Get shipped off to some other base for a few weeks for training, and that loving wife is suddenly fvcking your best friend. I've seen it happen so often it's almost a given.
You need to wait on the marriage. At least 3-4 more years. Coincidentally that will let you finish your degree. Go into the military as an officer. Much better pay and much less crap.
The truth is VERY FEW enlisted get to goto OCS to even TRY to become officers. Nevrer forget that your recruiter is a SALESMAN. Nothing wrong with salesmen, just don't forget their role. He isn't looking out for you, he's looking out for the paycheck.
Also you should do a little research on the over 100+ recruiters who got in trouble recently for poor ethics (lying) when trying to get more enlisted to join...
The truth is VERY FEW enlisted get to goto OCS to even TRY to become officers. Nevrer forget that your recruiter is a SALESMAN. Nothing wrong with salesmen, just don't forget their role. He isn't looking out for you, he's looking out for the paycheck.
Also you should do a little research on the over 100+ recruiters who got in trouble recently for poor ethics (lying) when trying to get more enlisted to join...
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