"The economy is not in a quagmire! The Dow will rally past levels seen before the bubble, I TRIPLE GUARANTEE YOU! We will beat infidel investors who sell their stocks with our shoes! Even I speak better than the villain Greenspan! This Greenspan, he always depends on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat his lies to anyone. The stock market has rallied 800 points today, I will even go to Wall Street to prove it! IN ONE HOUR!"