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Insecurity

lightweight

Senior member
I've been reading a lot of posts on here and other message boards about girls, and some of the problems they've been having. One of the more common links is insecurity that people have with themselves. I see this trend the MOST in threads that deal with girls having guy friends, and girls flirting with guys, past partners, etc.

What type of upbringing instills this feeling of insecurity or low self esteem into kids? How do children develop into insecure males that post emo threads?
 
most people are somewhat insecure if they don't have a lot of experience with girls, when finally getting a chance to engage a girl socially or get close with one at the beginning. Of course, by your post, you have a good 3 or 4 years before you have that kind of problem!
 
I don't think there is any one answer for a question like this, for each person it will be different.

 
I actually just turned 23 and got out of a relationship of 3 months. I date a lot, and am very excited to be single again. I don't understand what it is though that creates insecurity about themselves (Besides obvious childhood abuse).
 
I think that it is pretty simple. As a parent give the child a supportive environment. Encourage the child to set goals and help them achieve those goals. If the child thinks that they can achieve something, they probably can. As they grow up, they believe in themselves and therefore the things that they attempt are more likely to be successes.
 
Originally posted by: lightweight
I actually just turned 23 and got out of a relationship of 3 months. I date a lot, and am very excited to be single again. I don't understand what it is though that creates insecurity about themselves (Besides obvious childhood abuse).

Think back to your first girlfriend/date and how you felt then. I doubt you were as confident or jaded as you are now.
 
Originally posted by: radioouman
I think that it is pretty simple. As a parent give the child a supportive environment. Encourage the child to set goals and help them achieve those goals. If the child thinks that they can achieve something, they probably can. As they grow up, they believe in themselves and therefore the things that they attempt are more likely to be successes.

my parents were always very supportive of me but i was always really "emo" up until about my junior year. not really sure why. however i have quite an interesting situation :roll: so i'm sure that kind of screwed stuff up.

you see, my 8th grade year i finally made a ton of friends. i hadn't really been a real popular guy, but for some reason, 8th grade was my year. so i made all these friends, and in the meantime, my older brother was fvcking up at the high school and ended up getting expelled (a whole 'nother story in itself). and my parents sent him to a different school, nemaha valley, which is 30 miles away from here, 10 miles south of Syracuse, Nebraska. so my parents, most specifically my mom, didn't want me to go to the high school because she thought the teachers would treat me different. so she sent me to the same school my freshman year. that really pissed me off 🙁 not only did i have to drive 30 miles each way, but i had to make new friends, and try to start over. yeah that didn't go over so well. i was a "city" kid, and they are all farmers. i made a couple friends the two years i was there and said "fvck it" in summer of 2003 and called my superintendant up in nebraska city to opt back into district 111 (my old district). and he agreed, he calle dmy mom, my mom grounded me for a month from everything, and i got to go back to school at the high school i would have originally gone to. and when i came back i started feeling better about everything, from school, to girls, to sports, etc. i felt great!

cliffs:
[*]8th grade i made lots of friends for the first time ever
[*]older brother screwed up, was sent to a different school far away
[*]parents were "looking out" for me and sent me there as well
[*]i made two friends freshman/sophomore year of HS (my own fault)
[*]got tired of going to school there and opt'd back into my old district
[*]ever since junior year things have been going real great!
[*]i'm not emo anymore! yay!

Edit: spelling.

 
Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
Originally posted by: lightweight
I actually just turned 23 and got out of a relationship of 3 months. I date a lot, and am very excited to be single again. I don't understand what it is though that creates insecurity about themselves (Besides obvious childhood abuse).

Think back to your first girlfriend/date and how you felt then. I doubt you were as confident or jaded as you are now.


I recognize the feeling of insecurity, but when I look back on it I realize how silly it is. Some of the things that I did to show insecurity was trying to get approval from women. Big mistake. Another thing is giving social status to a woman, again for approval. It's silly looking back in hindsight.
 
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