Insane parents are upset CO school won't recognize their boy as a girl

[PokerGuy]

Please explain the parental abuse.

These parents are causing permanent damage to the child's well being by acting out their insane little fantasies on him. It's not bad enough that they want to force him to 'be' something he isn't, they want to force everyone else to join in their delusion as well, putting an innocent child in the middle of it. That child needs to be taken out of that abusive home immediately.

 

[Ancalagon44]

Please, explain the abuse being ennacted by these parents. How, precisely, is Coy being abused?

Read my post above.

A child does not know when the best bedtime is. A child does not know why he should eat his greens. A child does not know why not to put his hand into a pot of boiling water.

Likewise, a child does not know what transgender means. A child knows about boys and girls, that boys have penises and girls have vaginas.

The ONLY way that this kid could have got the idea that he is really a girl is if his parents put it there. There is no way a 6 year is going to turn around and say I am in the wrong body.

That takes a lot more emotional maturity and insight than a 6 year old will have, and that is why this is abuse.

 

[Screech]

Saw this on cnn today. Best part is the name of the school district's attorney:

"The district firmly believes it has acted reasonably and fairly with respect to this issue," the school district's attorney, W. Kelly Dude, said in a written statement.

Kelly Dude? lol!

 

[jackstar7]

These parents are causing permanent damage to the child's well being by acting out their insane little fantasies on him. It's not bad enough that they want to force him to 'be' something he isn't, they want to force everyone else to join in their delusion as well, putting an innocent child in the middle of it. That child needs to be taken out of that abusive home immediately.

Where are you getting this is the parents' fantasy?


I'm going to assume you have no answer to that, so how about this: What is the definition of abuse that you are using that covers this scenario?

 

[Lithium381]

Havne't read much of the thread, but i was just waiting for something like this to happen. Where are we going to draw the lines??

 

[jackstar7]

Read my post above.

A child does not know when the best bedtime is. A child does not know why he should eat his greens. A child does not know why not to put his hand into a pot of boiling water.

Likewise, a child does not know what transgender means. A child knows about boys and girls, that boys have penises and girls have vaginas.

The ONLY way that this kid could have got the idea that he is really a girl is if his parents put it there. There is no way a 6 year is going to turn around and say I am in the wrong body.

That takes a lot more emotional maturity and insight than a 6 year old will have, and that is why this is abuse.

What prevents kids from knowing about gender identity?

Anecdotal (so dismiss if you will) but every time I hear someone talk about their gender identity as an adult, they invariably say they felt differently from a very early age.

So who are you to impose some kind of age restriction on emotional self-awareness?



EDIT: Oh, and none of what you laid out reconciles with any definition of abuse I can find. So please share yours.

 

[jackstar7]

Havne't read much of the thread, but i was just waiting for something like this to happen. Where are we going to draw the lines??

Lines about what?

 

[BallaTheFeared]

Havne't read much of the thread, but i was just waiting for something like this to happen. Where are we going to draw the lines??

The sad part is that this is the shallow end of the gene pool people are arguing over..

 

[cubby1223]

Where are you getting this is the parents' fantasy?

It is the parents' fantasy.

They are using their child as a social experiment with side benefits of earning income through publicity.

Follow up on this story in ten years time and you will see one fucked over teen.

Anecdotal (so dismiss if you will) but every time I hear someone talk about their gender identity as an adult, they invariably say they felt differently from a very early age.

Ah so you're all about anecdotal evidence to support your views! How about, there is a chance that this kid will, later in life, want to identify as a man. It doesn't matter, these are the years when children begin figuring out how to interact with other people, how to form friendships, relationships, work together with people, have fun with people. We all only have one shot at being a child. There are no do-overs.

Someone you are describing, you let this person slowly figure it out over time. What these parents are doing is making their child feel like an outcast in these crucial years.

This is the parents' social experiment and the chances of it working out to be the best for him, are slim at best.

 

[Darwin333]

So you never gave two kids of opposite sexes a bath together, eh?

The kid is 6. No one has any idea what she'll want to be/how she will identify at 7, much less when puberty becomes a factor.

Lets say the boy decides to keep being a girl. Don't you think it would be more harmful and ostracizing if he is allowed to use the girls bathroom until he is 10-12 and THEN he is forced to use the boys bathroom?

The point is that this WILL eventually happen, he will not be able to use the girls facilities throughout middle and high school. In the meantime there will be parents who will have a very legitimate problem with a boy using the same bathroom at the same time as their daughter.

There are so many reasons that the schools reasonable compromise is a far better solution and very few reasons that the school should give into the parents demands.

 

[jackstar7]

It is the parents' fantasy.

They are using their child as a social experiment with side benefits of earning income through publicity.

Follow up on this story in ten years time and you will see one fucked over teen.


Ah so you're all about anecdotal evidence to support your views! How about, there is a chance that this kid will, later in life, want to identify as a man. It doesn't matter, these are the years when children begin figuring out how to interact with other people, how to form friendships, relationships, work together with people, have fun with people. We all only have one shot at being a child. There are no do-overs.

Someone you are describing, you let this person slowly figure it out over time. What these parents are doing is making their child feel like an outcast in these crucial years.

This is the parents' social experiment and the chances of it working out to be the best for him, are slim at best.

What evidence is there to support your claim about the parents' fantasy?

And secondly, I plainly stated that it was anecdotal and can be dismissed. But I thought it was worth mentioning as it might remind people that they have heard similar things.

Lastly, even if this is an experiment, isn't that all parenting? If there was a method that invariably led to productive and functional people we wouldn't have vast mental health issues across our population. Their method could certainly have terrible results, no question. But I don't see the malice in their support of Coy that you guys see.

 

[jackstar7]

Lets say the boy decides to keep being a girl. Don't you think it would be more harmful and ostracizing if he is allowed to use the girls bathroom until he is 10-12 and THEN he is forced to use the boys bathroom?

So you are saying that you believe it would be more harmful.

The point is that this WILL eventually happen, he will not be able to use the girls facilities throughout middle and high school. In the meantime there will be parents who will have a very legitimate problem with a boy using the same bathroom at the same time as their daughter.

Please explain the problem and elaborate on its legitimacy. What is it that people are doing in bathrooms that makes someone of the opposite sex being in the room a threat?

There are so many reasons that the schools reasonable compromise is a far better solution and very few reasons that the school should give into the parents demands.

I think the school offered a pretty reasonable solution, but I also don't understand what prompted it.

 

[PokerGuy]

Where are you getting this is the parents' fantasy?


I'm going to assume you have no answer to that, so how about this: What is the definition of abuse that you are using that covers this scenario?

It's the parents fantasy because a 6 year old has no concept of gender identity. Obviously it's the idiot parents.

There's obviously a more specific legal definition of abuse, but I'd say something that does irreparable permanent damage to the well-being of the child is abuse. Making him think he's a girl when he is in fact not a girl, and then putting him through all this charade and trying to force the school to go with the charade is doing damage to the child. The parents are also harming other kids at the school by causing confusion in them about girls/boys and a host of issues.

 

[jackstar7]

Here we go: http://www.healthychildren.org/Engl...000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR:+No+local+token

Youngsters actually begin developing strong gender identities long before middle childhood. A child's awareness of being a boy or a girl starts in the first year of life. It often begins by eight to ten months of age, when youngsters typically discover their genitals. Then, between one and two years old, children become conscious of physical differences between boys and girls; before their third birthday they are easily able to label themselves as either a boy or a girl as they acquire a strong concept of self. By age four, children's gender identity is stable, and they know they will always be a boy or a girl.

 

[PokerGuy]

Please explain the problem and elaborate on its legitimacy. What is it that people are doing in bathrooms that makes someone of the opposite sex being in the room a threat?

What is it that makes someone having intercourse in public a threat to someone else? Nothing, except societal norms dictate that it's not acceptable. Similarly, societal norms dictate that men and women generally have separate restroom accommodations. When someone goes against those norms, it creates discomfort for everyone else.

 

[waggy]

It's the parents fantasy because a 6 year old has no concept of gender identity. Obviously it's the idiot parents.

There's obviously a more specific legal definition of abuse, but I'd say something that does irreparable permanent damage to the well-being of the child is abuse. Making him think he's a girl when he is in fact not a girl, and then putting him through all this charade and trying to force the school to go with the charade is doing damage to the child. The parents are also harming other kids at the school by causing confusion in them about girls/boys and a host of issues.

yeah. my question is what happens IF at puberty he decides he likes girls? what are they going to do?

they have put all paperwork as saying he is a female. kids are going to remember him coming to school in a dress. It's all over the internet.

he is fucked either way. i really feel sorry for the kid.

 

[jackstar7]

What is it that makes someone having intercourse in public a threat to someone else? Nothing, except societal norms dictate that it's not acceptable. Similarly, societal norms dictate that men and women generally have separate restroom accommodations. When someone goes against those norms, it creates discomfort for everyone else.

That example is equivalent to you? Public sex and someone using a stall in the opposite bathroom?

 

[BallaTheFeared]

I don't really have an answer. I simply accept the notion that girls sometimes feel more like boys and vice versa. And that some of the worst of society's bigots hail from the far political left.

Maybe it's time we actually address imbalances in the human brain, instead of attempting to accept what is wrong.

Maybe I'm just not hip enough, but if chemicals in the brain can make a person feel like another gender, or be sexually attacked to their own sex, or seek out young boys and girls, or rape/kill other humans for no reason, then perhaps instead of going into acceptance mode we should figure out a way to fix it.

 

[jackstar7]

Maybe it's time we actually address imbalances in the human brain, instead of attempting to accept what is wrong.

Maybe I'm just not hip enough, but if chemicals in the brain can make a person feel like another gender, or be sexually attacked to their own sex, or seek out young boys and girls, or rape/kill other humans for no reason, then perhaps instead of going into acceptance mode we should figure out a way to fix it.

Well, not all of those are equivalent issues.

 

[PokerGuy]

That example is equivalent to you? Public sex and someone using a stall in the opposite bathroom?

Not surprisingly, you missed the point. The actions are not equivalent, it's an illustration of societal norms. The point is not that there is physical harm to the other kids is this boy is in the girls restrooms, but that it creates needless discomfort and confusion -- all because the parents of this boy are abusive idiots.

 

[jackstar7]

Not surprisingly, you missed the point. The actions are not equivalent, it's an illustration of societal norms. The point is not that there is physical harm to the other kids is this boy is in the girls restrooms, but that it creates needless discomfort and confusion -- all because the parents of this boy are abusive idiots.

They are not abusive. And I didn't miss your point. I think you are overstating the value of it.

Various things have broken societal norms and made people uncomfortable. Doesn't make them harmful or wrong.

Feelings are not an argument.

 

[Darwin333]

No one will give a shit. Until you let them use the "wrong" bathroom... apparently.

You completely miss the point.

No one gives a shit until it might potentially effect them. I'm sorry but having a boy using the girls bathroom can very will effect the other children. Considering that there are extremely reasonable alternatives I see no argument that the school should risk effecting other students just so that he can use the bathroom with the opposite sex.

 

[Darwin333]

They are not abusive. And I didn't miss your point. I think you are overstating the value of it.

Various things have broken societal norms and made people uncomfortable. Doesn't make them harmful or wrong.

Feelings are not an argument.

How exactly do you know this? For the record the same question goes to those who say the parents are abusive, definitive statements like that are simply guesses and not fact as implied.

 

[Darwin333]

That example is equivalent to you? Public sex and someone using a stall in the opposite bathroom?

They are both the way they are because of societal norms and no other reason so yes they are in the context of this discussion.

 

[shortylickens]

On the contrary, one of these days any attempt to separate restrooms on any basis at all will be considered an act of bigotry.

Umm, we already HAVE separate bathrooms.

Boy

Girl