In your experience, is being an only child considered rare?

[Soundmanred]

If you hate the first one, why have another?

 

[Remobz]

It is rare where I grew up. And all the single children I knew were incredibly spoiled and obnoxious to say the least.

 

[ttott]

Not rare. But I assume you had a pretty lonely childhood.

 

[The Boston Dangler]

If you hate the first one, why have another?

nice one

 

[Mixolydian]

If you hate the first one, why have another?

keep having 'em till you get one you like.

 

[Soundmanred]

Can anyone else tell who is most likely an only child on AT? Once you know what to look for, it's almost too easy.

 

[ultimatebob]

Not rare. But I assume you had a pretty lonely childhood.

I don't think that my daughter will be lonely at all. She has a ton of nieces and nephews that she plays with every week.

 

[Codewiz]

It's the opposite of this:

I'm someone with a lot of siblings, First it's a socialization thing. If your family can field a sports team without a stranger, you learn to deal with life in terms of lfiguring out how to make sure you get your fair share. And how to not piss somebody off. All your siblings have a different explosion point.

You just always think in terms of other people, where you fit in, how to get what you want. And how to spend every darned second of your life in the middle of a circus. Calculating who the adults are pissed off at. And getting sneaky putting the blame on someone else. And there's never enough (food, money, attention) for you.

And always being responsible for the work and chores you have to do. You have a radar that senses what needs to be done, and you just do it.

And you don't know what silence is.

An only child has no concept of this stuff. It shows.

Wow, you must think that only children don't go to school. Maybe if an only child never interacts with other children that is true. However, studies have shown almost everything you have posted is false.

 

[CPA]

Children are investments. Like all investments you don't put all your money into one bucket. You have a portfolio of different investments that spread out risk. Hope is that one investment takes off to mitigate losses on the others.

 

[ultimatebob]

Children are investments. Like all investments you don't put all your money into one bucket. You have a portfolio of different investments that spread out risk. Hope is that one investment takes off to mitigate losses on the others.

Funny... I always thought that they were more like little money pits. You know... like the cars and the house, only cuter

 

[sdifox]

Children are investments. Like all investments you don't put all your money into one bucket. You have a portfolio of different investments that spread out risk. Hope is that one investment takes off to mitigate losses on the others.

so you are advocating polygamy.

 

[Perknose]

so you are advocating polygamy.

Well, any diversified portfolio of this sort would necessarily include "bonds." That way, your asset couldn't escape.

 

[waggy]

suprised at those stats.

I know 1 person who is a single child. none of my friends have one. they either don't have any or 2. hmm one has 3

most couples i know have 2 kids. though one family (fucking filthy rich) have 6 i know 4 are adopted. One of the girls is on my daughters gymnastics team. there house is fucking insane. very nice and huge. they wan't to adopt 2 disabled kids that they been fostering.

 

[vi edit]

I think it will be an ever increasing trend.

1) A lot of people are having kids much later in life than they have historically
2) Both parents are moving into full time/professional jobs
3) Cost of daycare is omgwtfretarded expensive

Filling in the gaps the story is this...there's a lot of families that feel like like they need to have kids. Either because of societal norms, family, own pressure, whatever. And instead of doing that at 20-25 like people did over the last several decades they are waiting till they are more financially sound, get their traveling needs out of their system, ect. So now they are waiting till their 30's to crank out a kid. That already puts them behind the 8 ball of time.

So you get that bundle of joy in your 30's, put up with the sleepless nights, the $1500 a month daycare bill. That urge for the 2nd one gets slower and slower as your first one gets older and they start having meltdowns in the grocery store. You see neighbors down the road with shiny new cars or going on vacations. You look at the total look of bewilderment and defeat on the faces of parents at the mall or on vacation with multiple young kids. That decision to stick with one just seems all that much easier. The money, the lack of sleep, coordinating with work, the frustrations. Ect. Maybe one isn't so bad.

I know *a lot* of people in this exact situation.

 

[ultimatebob]

3) Cost of daycare is omgwtfretarded expensive

Tell me about it... what a racket! Not only do they make you prepay, but they even have the nerve to charge you full price for days when your kid isn't there.

 

[TridenT]

Rare? I don't know. Uncommon? It seemed like it. Most people I knew had brothers and/or sisters.

I didn't think only children were really any different than others. Maybe better off than anything. I didn't have to deal with them being psychos with their siblings.

Most people find it too hard to believe that I even have biological relatives. If it wasn't for existing, they would assume that I did not have a biological father or mother.

So, there's that.

 

[KeithTalent]

I think it is more and more common these days (most of my friends and co-workers only have one kid), but when I was a kid it seemed I was the only one.

KT

 

[vi edit]

I think it is more and more common these days (most of my friends and co-workers only have one kid), but when I was a kid it seemed I was the only one.

KT

I'll be perfectly honest, I didn't want more than one. My daughter nearly killed my wife. She was major pre-ecclampsia and she was days away from siezing/death before we caught it in the labs and she had emergent induction. She was born under 5 pounds and was respiratory monitors for the first 6 weeks of her life. She also had terrible reflux issues and was a volitile fountain of projectile vomit for the first year of her life until she grew out of it. Toss in $1200 a month daycare bills and all of the other general hastle of having an infant and I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it a second time.

My marriage was somewhat tested fighting that and I decided to have another and my son has been like 1/10th the drama/work that my daughter was. A lot of it just because I know what the fuck I'm doing with a baby 2nd the time around. Other part was just because he was easy and had no major health issues.

If my wife wasn't as strong about our first having a sibling I would have not had a second.