In your experience, is being an only child considered rare?

[kyrax12]

When the topic regarding siblings comes up in a conversation, I always get these sort of shocked reactions when I tell people that I am an only child. They make a lot of assumptions that I am spoiled just because I have no siblings.

Is being an only child that rare in your experience?

 

[ultimatebob]

I hope not... My child will be an only child

 

[Matthiasa]

By definition, it can't exactly be common in any society experiencing population growth.

 

[kyrax12]

By definition, it can't exactly be common in any society experiencing population growth.

Well I heard that people are having less babies in the U.S. I just can't relate to people who have 5+ siblings.

I have met a lot of Asians (Primarily Hmong) that have a TON of siblings in my area. Those people aren't exactly wealthy per to say. Don't know why they are having so much.

Guessed I understand why people are shocked when they found out that I am an only child, as I am shocked when I found out that they have a ton of siblings.

I guessed my parents made the logical choice. We were pretty poor back then so my parents decided to just have one kid. It doesn't make sense to have more than one child if the family is living in poverty.

 

[nickbits]

I only had a couple friends that were only childs. Usually people want a couple kids I think.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

When the topic regarding siblings comes up in a conversation, I always get these sort of shocked reactions when I tell people that I am an only child. They make a lot of assumptions that I am spoiled just because I have no siblings.

Is being an only child that rare in your experience?

Maybe you just don't give off an only-child persona. I've actually had people think that I was an only child to be surprised that I have several siblings.

 

[Jumpem]

It's not too rare, but it is odd.

And yes you will automatically come across as being spoiled. You likely were without even realizing it.

 

[IronWing]

My experience with being an only child is rare indeed. My siblings would like it to remain that way.

 

[kyrax12]

Maybe you just don't give off an only-child persona. I've actually had people think that I was an only child to be surprised that I have several siblings.

Interesting. What exactly is an only-child persona? 0.0

 

[Ns1]

No

 

[Printer Bandit]

in china only child is best child.

 

[Mixolydian]

I wish more people only had one child.

 

[Ns1]

in china only child is best child (as long as child is male).

ftfy

 

[HeXen]

I'm an only child from a single parent home. It's almost hard for me to imagine what life would be like growing up with siblings. In some ways it sounds like it would suck but on the other hand it feels weird or made me weird in a way to not have any.

Interesting. What exactly is an only-child persona? 0.0

Selfishness mostly, not being able to share is another. For me, I share just fine with my wife but anyone else, when it comes to pricey or sentimental things, I hate to share but that's mostly cause my experience shows everyone to either damage it, not take care of it, let it get stolen without compensation or just flat out not give it back, at least not in the same condition.
I guess if you have siblings, you're already used to that kind of stuff.

 

[Perknose]

It's not too rare, but it is odd.

And yes you will automatically come across as being spoiled. You likely were without even realizing it.

Not only is it "not too rare", but it is far from being an oddity. 2010 US Census figures showed the breakdown by household to be this:

No children: 43,615,000
One child: 15,149,000
Two children:12,947,000
Three or more: 7,122,000

Which is to say, more families had one child than had two, and more than twice as many had one as had three or more.

Furthermore, the assumption that only children are spoiled is a tired myth completely exposed by research in the field.

From Wiki, for starters:

Susan Newman, a social psychologist at Rutgers University and the author of Parenting an Only Child, says that this is a myth. "People articulate that only children are spoiled, they're aggressive, they're bossy, they're lonely, they're maladjusted," she said. "There have been hundreds and hundreds of research studies that show that only children are no different from their peers."[8] Similarly, a popular belief is held that only children have aversive[clarification needed] social skills, and therefore have a harder time making friends. A 2004 study of American middle and high school students found that such beliefs are false.

A 1987 quantitative review of 141 studies on 16 different personality traits contradicts the opinion, held by theorists including Alfred Adler, that only children feel maladjusted due to pampering.[19] The study found no evidence of any maladjustment in only children. The most important finding was that only children are not very different from children with siblings. The main exception to this was the finding that only children are higher in achievement motivation, largely because their greater share of parental attention translates into increased parental scrutiny: This scrutiny, especially as compounded by only children's access to a greater share of parental resources, exposes them to greater absolute quantities of both reward when they exceed parental expectations and punishment when they fall short.[20] A second analysis revealed that only children, first-borns, and children with only one sibling score higher on tests of verbal ability than later-borns and children with multiple siblings.[21]

In his book Maybe One, Bill McKibben argues in favor of a one child policy based on this research. He argues that most cultural stereotypes are false, that there are not many differences between only children and other children, and where there are differences, they are favorable to the only child. Aside from scoring significantly better in achievement motivation, only children score significantly better in personal adjustment to new situations. Only children are also more likely to make outside friends, whereas children with siblings tend to be "more parochial and limited in their understanding of a variety of social roles",[23] but it is usually more difficult for them to do so, even in early life.[24][25

tl;dr Only children not spoiled, not an oddity, and perform better in many metrics.

 

[Mixolydian]

Btw if I ever have kids, I will only have one.

 

[Anubis]

TBH im not sure i know anyone who is an only child

 

[OlafSicky]

Btw if I ever have kids, I will only have one.

This creates very bad people. Stastically speaking 85% of all only children are psychopaths.

 

[Perknose]

This creates very bad people. Stastically speaking 85% of all only children are psychopaths.

That study was rendered statistically incomplete when the researchers were murdered by the children they were studying!

Besides, a better study has shown that 100% of only children are the best behaved children in their families, while only 50% of the kids in two child families are.

 

[HeXen]

Percentages are stats and stats are fact. Common knowledge.

 

[Mixolydian]

This creates very bad people. Stastically speaking 85% of all only children are psychopaths.

That's ridiculous. Lots of psychopaths out there who weren't only children.

 

[nanette1985]

Interesting. What exactly is an only-child persona? 0.0

It's the opposite of this:

I'm someone with a lot of siblings, First it's a socialization thing. If your family can field a sports team without a stranger, you learn to deal with life in terms of lfiguring out how to make sure you get your fair share. And how to not piss somebody off. All your siblings have a different explosion point.

You just always think in terms of other people, where you fit in, how to get what you want. And how to spend every darned second of your life in the middle of a circus. Calculating who the adults are pissed off at. And getting sneaky putting the blame on someone else. And there's never enough (food, money, attention) for you.

And always being responsible for the work and chores you have to do. You have a radar that senses what needs to be done, and you just do it.

And you don't know what silence is.

An only child has no concept of this stuff. It shows.

 

[arkcom]

Not only is it "not too rare", but it is far from being an oddity. 2010 US Census figures showed the breakdown by household to be this:

No children: 43,615,000
One child: 15,149,000
Two children:12,947,000
Three or more: 7,122,000

OP is probably older than 3 years old.

Those statistics do not necessarily mean those families will not have more children

 

[lothar]

Not only is it "not too rare", but it is far from being an oddity. 2010 US Census figures showed the breakdown by household to be this:

No children: 43,615,000
One child: 15,149,000
Two children:12,947,000
Three or more: 7,122,000

Which is to say, more families had one child than had two, and more than twice as many had one as had three or more.

Just how accurate are these Census figures category?
If all the kids have moved out of the parent's home, that means they are no longer considered a member of the household by the parents(nor the IRS definition of the word "household") and therefore the parents can vote "no children".

I think the correct way to poll this would be "Did you have children, and if so how many children did you have" and not a "How many children do you have in your household" type question.

In my life, I think I've only met two people that were an only child.
They were spoiled, never struggled in their entire life prior, and their parents paid everything for them from phones, cars, tuition, etc...
Yes...I know that's anecdotal evidence, but so what?

You're an only child, Perk?

 

[Perknose]

Just how accurate are these Census figures category?
If all the kids have moved out of the parent's home, that means they are no longer considered a member of the household by the parents(nor the IRS definition of the word "household") and therefore the parents can vote "no children".

I think the correct way to poll this would be "Did you have children, and if so how many children did you have" and not a "How many children do you have in your household" type question.

But according to the 2010 census, one in five women ages 40 to 44, (those at the end of their childbearing years), had one child, (18.5 percent), a share that doubled since the '70s.