IMPORTANT: Sneaking a TA advertisement into AnandTech Article Need proof read.

[narzy]

I am writing an article for AnandTech and am sneaking a schpeal about TA into the article. here is the section its in the closing of the article.

I would like to invite all of you to help impact different changes that technology is creating by donating your spare CPU cycles to a distributed computing project there are many to choose from for many different reasons from improving encryption, to finding more effective drugs to combat today?s and tomorrow?s illnesses and even searching for rouge alien radio signals, please feel free to visit the Distributed Computing section of The AnandTech Forums, and or visiting Team AnandTech?s Website.

 

[minendo]

I would like to invite all of you to help impact different changes that technology is creating by donating your spare CPU cycles to a distributed computing project. There are many to choose from for many different reasons from improving encryption, to finding more effective drugs to combat today?s and tomorrow?s illnesses and even searching for rouge alien radio signals. Please feel free to visit the Distributed Computing section of The AnandTech Forums, and or visiting Team AnandTech?s Website.


I made a few changes, but the bold sentence needs serious work.

 

[narzy]

ya, its a run on, if you have any better idea's as to how to structure it, please feel free

I am editing your edit...

I would like to invite all of you to help impact different changes that technology is helping create by donating your spare CPU cycles to a distributed computing project. There are many to choose from for many different reasons. for instance improving encryption, finding effective drugs to combat illness, and/or? searching for rouge alien radio signals. Please feel free to visit the Distributed Computing section of The AnandTech Forums, and or visit the Team AnandTech Website.

 

[Baldy18]

You should change "Team AnandTech?s Website" to "www.teamanandtech.com", not everyone knows where it is.:Q

 

[narzy]

Originally posted by: Baldy18
You should change "Team AnandTech?s Website" to "www.teamanandtech.com", not everyone knows where it is.:Q

it will be linked in the article

 

[Assimilator1]

For instance improving encryption, finding effective drugs to combat illness, or searching for rouge alien radio signals.

Cool about the plug btw

 

[Ken g6]

I am editing your edit, Narzy...

I would like to invite all of you to help impact different changes that technology is helping create by donating your spare CPU cycles to a distributed computing project. There are many to choose from with many different objectives, such as improving encryption, finding effective drugs to combat illness, and searching for rogue alien radio signals. Please feel free to visit the Distributed Computing section of The AnandTech Forums, or visit the Team AnandTech Website.[/quote]Nice plug, but the new bold section needs serious work. Edit: How about replacing it with something like:

I would like to invite all of you to help advance the frontier of the technological revolution

Also, everyone has misspelled "rogue". :Q

 

[narzy]

but its agreed that I fixed the old bold section?

here is the paragraph before it.

One thing that is apparent this year is that we are making vast changes in the way we interact with the world around us, and even in our own homes and what role technology is playing in those changes.

I would like to invite all of you to impact in a different way, changes that technology is playing a role in by donating your spare CPU cycles to a distributed computing project. There are many to choose from with many different objectives, from improving encryption, to finding effective drugs to combat illness, or even searching for rogue alien radio signals. Please feel free to visit the Distributed Computing section of The AnandTech Forums, or visit the Team AnandTech Website.

EDIT added a comma between way and changes for better readability.

 

[dmcowen674]

Thanks Ken for pointing that out, I was going to as well.

Good job as always Tim (Narzy).

 

[Dantoo]

Ahem you may wish to recheck a word. Great work Narzy.


rogue n.
An unprincipled, deceitful, and unreliable person; a scoundrel or rascal.
One who is playfully mischievous; a scamp.
A wandering beggar; a vagrant.
A vicious and solitary animal, especially an elephant that has separated itself from its herd.
An organism, especially a plant, that shows an undesirable variation from a standard.


rouge n.
A red or pink cosmetic for coloring the cheeks or lips.
A reddish powder, chiefly ferric oxide, used to polish metals or glass.

Edit: Didn't read Ken or Dave close enough before posting. (Bends on one knee and proffers neck)

 

[narzy]

Originally posted by: Dantoo
Ahem you may wish to recheck a word. Great work Narzy.


rogue n.
An unprincipled, deceitful, and unreliable person; a scoundrel or rascal.
One who is playfully mischievous; a scamp.
A wandering beggar; a vagrant.
A vicious and solitary animal, especially an elephant that has separated itself from its herd.
An organism, especially a plant, that shows an undesirable variation from a standard.


rouge n.
A red or pink cosmetic for coloring the cheeks or lips.
A reddish powder, chiefly ferric oxide, used to polish metals or glass.

Edit: Didn't read Ken or Dave close enough before posting. (Bends on one knee and proffers neck)

ever watch Xmen?

 

[ButaneBlender]

Maybe some folks would like to detect aliens wearing rouge? An alien babe, after all, is still a babe

 

[Assimilator1]

lol

 

[Ken g6]

Originally posted by: narzy
but its agreed that I fixed the old bold section?

It's okay, but mine's better. (IMHO)

Seriously, mine is a little dry now that I look at it. It's your article; take your pick.

here is the paragraph before it.

One thing that is apparent this year is that we are making vast changes in the way we interact with the world around us, and even in our own homes and what role technology is playing in those changes.

Okay, try this:

I would like to invite all of you to impact these technologically induced changes in a different way by donating your spare CPU cycles to a distributed computing project.

 

[Assimilator1]

Hmm ,sounds a bit over technical