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I'm worried about my friend. Need advice! :(

Shawn

Shawn

Lifer
Basically my female friend just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. Her mom moved about an hour north of here last year but my friend didn't want to go since she would not get to see her bf and would have to change schools. Therefore she moved in with him. Now that they are broken up she has no where to go. She is still living with him for the time being but I doubt for much longer. She doesn't want to move back in with her mom and she has no money to live on her own, plus she's only 17! Even if she does move back in with her mom she'll have to change schools with only 4 months left of high school. 🙁

Some more info about her: she?s been diagnosed with a mild case of schizophrenia as well as chronic depression. She does NOT take her medication for it because she does not like the side effects. She says she can just deal with it but right now I don't think she can. She?s not the kind of person who?d hurt herself but she would do something drastic.

Several months ago she started talking to a guy online that shared similar interests with her. Well apparently recently he fell in love with her and asked her to marry him. It wasn't until then I found out about him because she came to me since she had no idea what to do. It turns out this guy is 30 and thinks she's 20. She also never mentioned that she had a bf to him. Well I told her that she better come clean and she did. She told him that she was really 17 and that she had a bf. Well he was upset but they still kept in touch anyway. (wtf?) She told him that she's now single and he supposedly drove over here yesterday (sat) to see her. I last talked to her on Friday and we got into an argument about it. I didn't want her to see him of course. Well now she hasn't called me or been online since I last talked to her. I'm really getting worried. I don't know what to do. The way she is right now she may have run off with him. Hopefully nothing worse! If she's not in school tomorrow I'm probably gonna call the police. I dunno what they can do though. 🙁
 
cliff notes:
1) female friend is mentally unstable
2) boyfriend of 3 years dumped her
3) she's meeting up with a guy she met online
4) originally lied to him about her age told him she's 20, when she's really 17
5) he's 30
6) haven't heard from her since

🙁
 
Originally posted by: quakefiend420
damn man...thts crazy...i would drive to wherever shes at to check on her
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I have no clue where she is. She could be at a hotel with him here or even drove back with him to wherever he lives. Who knows....
 
Originally posted by: Supercharged
Originally posted by: quakefiend420
damn man...thts crazy...i would drive to wherever shes at to check on her
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I have no clue where she is. She could be at a hotel with him here or even drove back with him to wherever he lives. Who knows....
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then there really isnt much you can do but wait to see if she contacts you
 
Without going into the whole situation of her living with her bf and being only 17 and in highschool, am I correct in assuming that where you are 17 is still a minor? If she did run away with this guy, who's supposedly 30, and they crossed state lines, isn't that some kind of felony or something? I'm sure some of our other members more knowledgeable in the law will chime in. Go to the cops if she doesn't show up. Fill out a missing persons report. Maybe they can get her chat logs and find out who this guy is and where he's from, and where they might be going?
 
Originally posted by: Colt45
She's a trainwreck waiting to happen.
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I know. I just wish there was something I could do. She's not a bad person and she's always gone out of her way to be a friend to me. 🙁
 
Originally posted by: Yossarian
RUN FAR AWAY FROM THIS GIRL. Seriously, she's a disaster and you could get taken out by the shrapnel.
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I agree. She's making some terrible choices (not staying with mom, not taking her medicine, meeting guys from chat rooms). The most you should do is make sure her mom knows about the situation (although a mom that would let her move in with a boyfriend at 17 might not be worth much), or you could notify your state or county child protection services.

Good luck!
 
The best thing you can do is get her fixed so she won't have any kids like her, stop the cycle. Her mother is not right, she isn't right, no sense having this girl screw up someone else's life.

 
Originally posted by: Supercharged
Originally posted by: Colt45
She's a trainwreck waiting to happen.
Click to expand...

I know. I just wish there was something I could do. She's not a bad person and she's always gone out of her way to be a friend to me. 🙁
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Yeah, I've had a few friends like that too. some of them came around, some didn't

Just tell her she's being a fvcking idiot and you care about her, or something. then lay some pipe.
 
first you need to call her and keep calling until she answers so you can make sure she's ok
if she's not picking up, try to get in touch with her ex-boyfriend and see if he knows if she's been around
you need to make sure nothing has happened to her, where were they meeting at?
if no one knows where she is and she doesn't show up at school tomorrow, call the police - tell them what has happened, it should be long enough to file a missing persons report, i think
also call her mom and let her mom know what's going on
what's the situation with her dad? is he stable? in her life at all? if he's stable but not involved in her life, you might try contacting him and getting him involved (assuming he would be a positive, not negative influence)
she definitely sounds headed on a bad track and she needs to learn some responsibility, do your best to intervene and hand her over to people who can actually help her. talk to the counselor at school and get them involved. you shouldn't try to handle it yourself, but you should try to get help for her.
 
I'm in a similar spot - but I can't help you. I don't know how what I'm trying is going to work out, and I don't want to set you up for disaster. You and she have my best wishes, though.
 
Originally posted by: Supercharged
cliff notes:
1) female friend is mentally unstable
2) boyfriend of 3 years dumped her
3) she's meeting up with a guy she met online
4) originally lied to him about her age told him she's 20, when she's really 17
5) he's 30
6) haven't heard from her since

🙁
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damn how do ya'll find up fvcked up friends like that? :Q

Every couple of weeks someone posts Jerry Springer scenario like this. My hot 14 year olf friend is doing coke and is pregnant with her 30 year old boyfriend. And tried to tell her it's bad but she's like whateveah whateveh, is mah body i do what i want! ...
 
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