I'm tired.
I went into work at midnight (attendant at a dual high-rise living facility) and some drunk/high asshole locked himself in a foreclosed unit in the wrong tower and called me saying that all his stuff was gone and threatened to sue me if I didn't get him out. When the locksmith and I got his naked ass out (yes, he undressed) by climbing on the roof of a connecting wing on the 5th floor, he put on his pants inside-out and left his wallet in there. When it came time to bill him $100 for calling this locksmith out of bed, he balked and started flaunting that he was a doctor and he wouldn't help the locksmith if he had heart pains (a threat?). Our normal locksmith would have charged several hundred (destroy/replace the door) and delivered the bill to him through the HOA where he would have had no option but to pay. Being a doctor is what got him in the mess because there was clearly more than alcohol involved. I found his pills (muscle relaxers), wallet, phone, etc in the unit when I went back to it.
Explanation: Foreclosed unit was empty and left unlocked due to loose locks/handles and nothing inside to steal. He wandered in drunk/stoned thinking he was at his unit in the other tower and locked it. They couldn't be unlocked, thus, he locked himself inside. His initial call was that someone had taken all of his stuff and he never realized that he was in the wrong unit no matter how many times we corrected him. He also refused to call people taking his stuff burglary. "Are you reporting a burglary?" "No. All my stuff's just gone." 🙄