I know exactly what you mean. I have a friend who I have become really close to and just recently has told me that we could never be more than friends. I'm feeling a little better today but yesterday just thinking about her made me cry. I know I will never be a part of something so beautiful. but sorry, I don't know what to tell you. just be glad you aren't so lonely that you are crying. I think aliencraft had some good advice.
The key is to talk talk talk (to other people, not yourself
), and get out more often. Spend more time with friends/family. Hell, anyone will work!First few days of my summer sucked. Couldn't find my friends, GF was always out, stuck @ home alone. Eventually I adapted to it, and started going out with friends more often.
Whoa, be patient. I was impatient, got my self a GF before I knew better. She turned out to be a total b1tch, screwed up my life during that time. Broke up a while back, now I feel great.
There's a lot of time ahead of you to find the perfect relationship.
I guess so. What's even worse I'm not sure I'm living my life the right way. I think I'm missing out on some correct, good things and settling for some miserable existence at will. Why I'm doing it is a mystery to me. So that's the whole thing. I know what I should theoretically do, what's right - what you said in this thread (thanks). But something doesn't let me do those correct things. Something's holding me back, and it's obviously something very wrong (or right - who knows?). It's beyond the comprehension, to say the least.
It's not simply a matter of "dealing with problems" if you are suffering from depression. I realize that it's hard to get this for most people, as for them their mood arises from their situation, but depression is as real as any other physical illness. For them, their situation arises out of their condition, and they are physically unable to pull themselves out of it if they do not get help. It is a biological condition where your brain chemistry is out of whack and unable to regulate emotion. I have seen members of my family slide down this slope, refusing to get treatment, insisting that they can deal while they systematically destroy their minds and bodies. BlinderBomber is a person who was once suffering from depression, and so his advice is from personal experience.
That said, we should not be overdiagnosing people, but the stigma around depression is often keeping people from getting the treatment they need.
I sincerely hope you don't take this as a flame, Descartes, I just wish that people understood the perils of depression better than they do.
You are depressed.... in my experience , the best way to get over it is to quit feeling sorry for yourself and get positive. Sure it sucks to see someone you can't have, but who cares, they might be annoying and you don't even know it. I'll let you in on a secret... most girls aren't interested in hopeless, depressed guys, nor are they into guys on prozac.
do you live alone? if you do, consider getting roommates and a puppy. take puppy downtown/park/dog shows, etc. like working out? go to the gym, go jogging, etc and show off your goods. get a part-time job at a cafe. so many things to do if you feel lonely.
I certainly respect that stance, as those drugs often do have serious side effects that may not be worth the exchange. What I object to is the stance that depression is simply an emotional problem that the victim isn't strong enough to take care of.
Originally posted by: ragazzo
on a side note, i think i have the lowest rating on this board for some reason
Not any more. I just gave you a ten.
You have to admit that not ALL cases require drugs and that sometimes doctors use them as a quick fix rather than taking the time to help the person without the use of drugs.
UNCjigga
Lifer
- Dec 12, 2000
- 25,634
- 10,342
- 136
Hah, how bout seeing your ex every weekend...with another man...who btw is so much more 'perfect' than you are...
and then, getting a crush on another girl, but before you can ask her out she falls for your best friend's cousin, who's 600 miles away...
and THEN, meeting a girl who's a foreign student, hitting it off real well, but then finding out her visa is up in December and she'll be going home (a $1500 flight away...)
:frown:
oh I forgot, going out with your dentist on two dates then finding out she really wants to date 'older guys'...i.e. marriageable material...
and this weekend, gettin your grind on with a girl, and then seeing some punk from 'the real world' steal her away before you can utter a word (granted this was in a club so I really wouldn't care...but STILL)
meeting girls sucks. Stay single. If I keep having this kinda luck, I might just declare myself asexual (any tips on budding??)
and then, getting a crush on another girl, but before you can ask her out she falls for your best friend's cousin, who's 600 miles away...
and THEN, meeting a girl who's a foreign student, hitting it off real well, but then finding out her visa is up in December and she'll be going home (a $1500 flight away...)
:frown:
oh I forgot, going out with your dentist on two dates then finding out she really wants to date 'older guys'...i.e. marriageable material...
and this weekend, gettin your grind on with a girl, and then seeing some punk from 'the real world' steal her away before you can utter a word (granted this was in a club so I really wouldn't care...but STILL)
meeting girls sucks. Stay single. If I keep having this kinda luck, I might just declare myself asexual (any tips on budding??)
i made myself as attractive as i could...and soon enough, people were being met and
ties were being made...trust me, it helps.
Originally posted by: Booster
Originally posted by: ragazzo
on a side note, i think i have the lowest rating on this board for some reason
Not any more. I just gave you a ten.
gracias senor
Originally posted by: ragazzo
Get a bigger dog or cat
Someone always has to hit the nail on the bottom... of the body.
I was wondering when the thread would turn into this. Strange enough, only to the very end of it. Bravo you guys for not making it the first reply to this thread! I didn't expect that.
Of course, as I mentioned in the fist post, we should not be overdiagnosing people. I am a firm believer that the HMO's vision of "preventitive medcine" has led to mass oveuse of medications from antidepressants to anibiotics. That should not, however, prevent people from seeking help when they really do need it.
BD231
Lifer
- Feb 26, 2001
- 10,568
- 138
- 106
Those feelings come and go man, a few simple things that'll help you out:
- Keep your mind calm, pamper yourself with the things you enjoy that you CAN have while your going through the worst of it
- Try to think with your future, there are so many things you can do with your life regardless of social status
- Train yourself to tune out the things there's nothing you can do about, then just let them go, this will give you a feeling of success, self control and pride that only gets stronger as you keep rejecting the negative thoughts you conjur up.
- Focus on building your own life, as you can't rely on anyone to make it but yourself, and your the only perminant factor in it
Another person in your life would help immensly, but believe it or not you can find people that hold value in you other than ladies man. It's impossible to relate to a depressed person with any feelings other than depressive ones, which NOBODY wants to be a part of.
Be strong, pick yourself up, find things that make you happy and give meaning to life. People are what make life worth living I find, make yourself available, open and friendly with ANY person you come accross in your day to day life.
We all go through these tough times, and ther are many factors that cause these rough spots. For me it's my moms CONSTANT eagerness to talk about nothing meaningfull and ask stupidly obvious questions only to get angry at me when I blow a gasket. My downsindrome brothers constant unawareness of everything around him, and complete lack of consideration for others and inability to care for himself. The excess skin that I have to get removed from a big weight loss. It costs thousands for the surgery to get taken care of (which I dont have of course), it's physically horribly uncomfortable, I'm extremely handsome with an almost non-existant presance of selfasteem making me feel like no girl on earth would accept my skin problem, and also making me feel like an asshole for ignoring other ladies advances. Dad dead from cancer, no family left other than my mom and brother, the list goes on.
All in all some things can only be handled with time and patients, I had a stomach infection that doctors diagnosed as croniq(sp) fatigue syndrome for 5 years, only to find that a simple 10 week treatment was needed after years of migrains/doctors bills and the 3 years of highschool I completed in my room feeling deathly sick in my bed.
You can imagine the depression all that caused, but like all things good or bad, nothing is perminant in life. Look to your future man, there's alot more control in it than you think.
- Keep your mind calm, pamper yourself with the things you enjoy that you CAN have while your going through the worst of it
- Try to think with your future, there are so many things you can do with your life regardless of social status
- Train yourself to tune out the things there's nothing you can do about, then just let them go, this will give you a feeling of success, self control and pride that only gets stronger as you keep rejecting the negative thoughts you conjur up.
- Focus on building your own life, as you can't rely on anyone to make it but yourself, and your the only perminant factor in it
Another person in your life would help immensly, but believe it or not you can find people that hold value in you other than ladies man. It's impossible to relate to a depressed person with any feelings other than depressive ones, which NOBODY wants to be a part of.
Be strong, pick yourself up, find things that make you happy and give meaning to life. People are what make life worth living I find, make yourself available, open and friendly with ANY person you come accross in your day to day life.
We all go through these tough times, and ther are many factors that cause these rough spots. For me it's my moms CONSTANT eagerness to talk about nothing meaningfull and ask stupidly obvious questions only to get angry at me when I blow a gasket. My downsindrome brothers constant unawareness of everything around him, and complete lack of consideration for others and inability to care for himself. The excess skin that I have to get removed from a big weight loss. It costs thousands for the surgery to get taken care of (which I dont have of course), it's physically horribly uncomfortable, I'm extremely handsome with an almost non-existant presance of selfasteem making me feel like no girl on earth would accept my skin problem, and also making me feel like an asshole for ignoring other ladies advances. Dad dead from cancer, no family left other than my mom and brother, the list goes on.
All in all some things can only be handled with time and patients, I had a stomach infection that doctors diagnosed as croniq(sp) fatigue syndrome for 5 years, only to find that a simple 10 week treatment was needed after years of migrains/doctors bills and the 3 years of highschool I completed in my room feeling deathly sick in my bed.
You can imagine the depression all that caused, but like all things good or bad, nothing is perminant in life. Look to your future man, there's alot more control in it than you think.
Boo fricky hoo.
Don't think a woman will make you happy. It doesn't necessarily work out that way and may cause you to rush into a relationship with a woman that isn't right for you.
Be happy you're not dealing with all the crap that some of the rest of us have.
Don't think a woman will make you happy. It doesn't necessarily work out that way and may cause you to rush into a relationship with a woman that isn't right for you.
Be happy you're not dealing with all the crap that some of the rest of us have.
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