i'm really worried about my g/f

[Rallispec]

ever since this past weekend when her horse died, she has fallen into this really deep depression.

i know that losing a loved one, even if its an animal is really hard... but she is taking it really really hard.

i dont know what to do or what to say... this horse meant more to her than anybody could possibly understand..
she keeps talking about how she doesnt want to go on living, how she wants to die so she can be burried next to him... how she feels lifeless now... its really scarey and i'm really worried about her.


has anybody else been in a situation like this.. what should i do?

 

[fatbaby]

its just a stage...denial leads on to reasoning then to acceptance

just be there for her and comfort here

 

[MrCodeDude]

I don't know, I grew up with three dogs. It took me a day to recover from the loss of the last two, but the first one (one I least knew too) took me like a week to get over. It's just kind of a real blow.
-- mrcodedude

 

[Killbat]

If she's talking about suicide, get her help (or preferably get her to get help). SOON.

 

[rh71]

What to do? Be at her side every moment you can... because she's just lost a very close friend... you need to be there for her in person.

 

[Rallispec]

Originally posted by: rh71
What to do? Be at her side every moment you can... because she's just lost a very close friend... you need to be there for her in person.

i would if i could.. i spend all day with her and all night with her... but we both still live at home with our parents (i'm only 21) so i cant stay the night over there.



in HS she fell into this depression and actually needed medication to get out of it... i'm afraid this is triggering a relapse of it.

 

[ohtwell]

Fatbaby is right, it's a stage. You need to keep an eye on her though. Even though her behavior may be normal she could get so depressed that she may try to hurt or kill herself. Everybody deals with death differently. Just be there for her when she needs you and keep a watchful eye on her. Let her know that she has many things to live for.






: ) Amanda

 

[TallBill]

hmmm.. good luck with that man... hope she feels better soon

 

[Linux23]

get her some help now. if she is talking about death, over an animal, god forbid how she would feel if a human being close to her passed away.

 

[rh71]

Everybody deals with death differently. Just be there for her when she needs you and keep a watchful eye on her. Let her know that she has many things to live for.

Right. Let her know that other people need her too. Hint hint.

 

[tk149]

Originally posted by: Rallispec

Originally posted by: rh71
What to do? Be at her side every moment you can... because she's just lost a very close friend... you need to be there for her in person.

i would if i could.. i spend all day with her and all night with her... but we both still live at home with our parents (i'm only 21) so i cant stay the night over there.



in HS she fell into this depression and actually needed medication to get out of it... i'm afraid this is triggering a relapse of it.

Grieving is not depression. However, depression can easily be triggered by a death event. If she used to be on medication, but no longer is, then she is probably especially susceptible to a depression relapse.

If she is talking about suicide (even jokingly...bad joke), she needs help NOW. Her parents should be notified. Ask if she's getting professional help.

That being said, remember that the horse died recently, and it takes a while for anyone to recover from the death of a good friend.

 

[Jeffwo]

Yes, it does sound like she has fallen back into a deep depression. She may need to go on medication for a time to overcome it.

I struggle with depression myself and when it gets real bad, I have to go on meds. You should really talk her into seeing a doctor or psychologist. (psychiatrist or whatever)

I wish both of you well. She is lucky to have someone who cares enough to be close at a time like this.

Jeff

 

[amdskip]

Get her some professional help before things get out of hand.

 

[Gulzakar]

all for a horse...

well, sell the dead one to alpo and buy her a new one.


I'll guess it was a quarter horse, seriously, they aren't that expensive considering how much people put into their pc's.

 

[ohtwell]

Originally posted by: Gulzakar
all for a horse...

well, sell the dead one to alpo and buy her a new one.


I'll guess it was a quarter horse, seriously, they aren't that expensive considering how much people put into their pc's.

That is the most insensitive thing I have ever heard. :|

Why don't you keep your opinion to yourself?






: ) Amanda

 

[bleeb]

Buy her another horse. But tell her that you know It can't replace the lost one, but over time she will find space in her heart for this one. Yeah I know its kinda cheesy... any ladies think this will work?? =)

 

[ohtwell]

Originally posted by: bleeb
Buy her another horse. But tell her that you know It can't replace the lost one, but over time she will find space in her heart for this one. Yeah I know its kinda cheesy... any ladies think this will work?? =)

I'm not sure if that is such a good idea.





: ) Amanda

 

[ThunderGirl]

i bet there are support groups she could go to as well. I am sure she is not the only person out there that this has happened to. I would read up a bit on the stages of grief and how to help someone.

I agree if she is really talking about killing herself you need to talk to her parents or at least try and get her to make an appt to go and talk to someone. Meds may not be necessary just talking to a stranger may help. I dunno.

I am so sorry to hear about her sadness. I would ask her parents for help and make sure they are aware also to keep an eye on her when you are not around.

Maybe take her away for a few days somewhere. Change of place might do her good. Get her mind off the day to day memories around her house.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: Gulzakar
all for a horse...

well, sell the dead one to alpo and buy her a new one.


I'll guess it was a quarter horse, seriously, they aren't that expensive considering how much people put into their pc's.

:disgust:

I've never had anyone or anything close to me pass away, and I'm not exactly the most emotional person I know, but I can't imagine myself saying something like this if it was my g/f whose horse died. Rallispec, I wish both you and your g/f the best, and hope that she pulls through this just fine.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: ohtwell

Originally posted by: bleeb
Buy her another horse. But tell her that you know It can't replace the lost one, but over time she will find space in her heart for this one. Yeah I know its kinda cheesy... any ladies think this will work?? =)

I'm not sure if that is such a good idea.

Actually this may work. Doesn't even have to be a new horse (that might even be a bad idea as it will remind her of her old one the first while), but a new pet to keep her comfort and for her to care for will give her a responsibility she can't deny. She will still mourn, but a young dog for example is very sensitive to that and will try and draw her attention. Every second she spends thinking about her new pet will be one that will help her get over the loss of the first one. Would need to be a pet which requires attention and is somewhat social though, a goldfish probably won't do the trick.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: Gulzakar
all for a horse...

well, sell the dead one to alpo and buy her a new one.


I'll guess it was a quarter horse, seriously, they aren't that expensive considering how much people put into their pc's.

:disgust:

I've never had anyone or anything close to me pass away, and I'm not exactly the most emotional person I know, but I can't imagine myself saying something like this if it was my g/f whose horse died. Rallispec, I wish both you and your g/f the best, and hope that she pulls through this just fine.

Just make sure you're there for her, and I would let her parents know, sort of an impromptu, latent "support group".

Gulkazar - I have to admit, your humor is right down my alley... but it doesn't work for everyone. Issues like this can have a huge impact on some people, so I would watch your jokes from now on...

Sorry that she's having to go through this, Danny. Keep us posted.

 

[Gulzakar]

I wuz just messin, sorry

Seriously though, a decent quarterhorse costs (this is not show or race quality) about 2 grand... at least that what my friend pays

I bet it would make her day...and you'd probably get some !!!

 

[aphex]

Hey bro...

I would keep an eye out for her for a few days, if she dosent seem to be getting any better maybe you should talk to her parents. I had an ex girlfriend that was clinically depressed, was fine for awhile, but went back into a relapse and needed to get onto meds again. In all honestly, there isnt one magic thing to say to her. You just gotta be there by her side and let her know that everything is alright and you love her.

Good luck!!!

 

[bugsysiegel]

Originally posted by: Killbat
If she's talking about suicide, get her help (or preferably get her to get help). SOON.

Sound advice!!! Stay with her, let her know you care.


And don't make any glue jokes!

 

[Azraele]

Grief is natural. As with everything, time heals. Be there for her, get her help if need be.