I'm reading Bash.org at work

[narzy]

LMAO

Zipalooie: i'd rather walk home from boston on train tracks drunk
Zipalooie: and blindfolded
Zipalooie: with headphones on blasting slayer at full volume
Zipalooie: than get in a car with your sister again

 

[faenix]

Originally posted by: Plasdom
<SLC> there is a new mp3 addon in the defalt mIRC-releases!!
<SLC> if ya wan to hear a Backstreet Boys song then type /quit playing games with my heart
<SLC> some guy i just talked to said so!! he said it only worked with that song at first, to make it active!!
*** SLC (badass@pc248.cab60a.comtrade.ee) Quit (playing games with my heart)

LOL I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT THAT ONE

 

[Horus]

<saloo> hey wanna chat?
<Nataliehotgurl16> yeah hot guy
<saloo> a/s/l
<saloo> u thr
<Nataliehotgurl16> 16/f/ca
<saloo> 29/m here
<saloo> wanna talk sex?
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE
<Nataliehotgurl16> STATUTORY RAPE


OWNED!

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Originally posted by: narzy
LOL, well I'm glad you like our hard work guys (I moderate for bash) for every "good" one that gets approved, there are 97 that SUCK BALLS. one of these days I will post a page from the qeue so you can appreciate the work that goes in to bash.

Given the ones that get through occasionally, I can imagine some of the hideous ones that don't.

 

[middlehead]

#433016 +(673)- [X]

<ptgenera> do you agree that "baby" is an awesome unit of volume?
<ptgenera> for instance: "That microwave is easily a six-baby unit."

 

[CRXican]

Originally posted by: middlehead
#433016 +(673)- [X]

<ptgenera> do you agree that "baby" is an awesome unit of volume?
<ptgenera> for instance: "That microwave is easily a six-baby unit."

nice

 

[middlehead]

#505743 +(1153)- [X]

<dice> You're in Sydney?
<Scott> ahhh yea
<dice> Cool!
<dice> Whatcha doing there?
<Scott> grandmothers
<dice> Really? You stud! How many?



#501650 +(877)- [X]

<RobbiePaul> I'm going to work on an econ paper which states that walmart has hurt america, but not the way most people think
<RobbiePaul> i say by keeping prices low, people that shouldn't survive are able to





#500728 +(1225)- [X]

<Nalah> My mother marks the English national exams. She was marking one creative writing paper today, and she got to the bottom of the page of one that read "the doctor knelt down beside her and raped her" - she turned the page and it finished "leg in a bandage". Hehe.

 

[chuckywang]

Originally posted by: aplefka

paper: sh!t
paper: flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?!
paper: sh!t i gotta warn bob

Oh man. I'm dying at this one. HAHAHAHAHA

 

[chuckywang]

I remember when I used to get mp3's from MIRC, my roommate and I would go on and pretend to be servers. But instead of the trigger words "type !list to get the server list of files", we would say, "type !I Clog My Toilet to get the server list of files".

People actually did it.

 

[EyeMWing]

I'm on there quite a few times.

 

[cain]

Originally posted by: EyeMWing
I'm on there quite a few times.

bash is making work unproductive. but i suppose i get a lot of work done here too. multitasker--->me, thats right.

anyway, here is today's contributions from me:
#3275 +(247)- [X]

<cynica_l> i hate babies
<Gollum`> i hate people
<cynica_l> i hate you
<profett> i have 3 guns
<profett> we can solve some problems

#22754 +(243)- [X]

<FiZi> HEY I FOUND A COOKIE CRUMB ON MY SHIRT
* FiZi eats it
<FiZi> Aw crap
<FiZi> It wasn't a cookie crumb

#23166 +(67)- [X]

<m477[Lain]> Customer: "I don't have a cdrom drive, and the CD is too big to fit in the floppy drive. And the software store won't take it back. So you have to help me install this, because it's all your fault. If you had sold me the version of Windows I wanted, I wouldn't have had to buy Windows 95."

 

[So]

Originally posted by: CRXican

Originally posted by: middlehead
#433016 +(673)- [X]

<ptgenera> do you agree that "baby" is an awesome unit of volume?
<ptgenera> for instance: "That microwave is easily a six-baby unit."

nice

:laugh:

 

[cain]

got another one

#16730 +(888)- [X]

*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah. Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'

#178285 +(760)- [X]

<Skizot> my boss is a moron
<Skizot> he walked in an i had left mirc open
<Skizot> he asked what it was...
<Berry2K> bussiness relations?
<Skizot> i told him a new support program by microsoft
<Berry2K>
<Berry2K> haha
<Skizot> he says" do i need it"
<RightField> lol
<Skizot> i told him no... it's for really techincal people and n00bs
<Berry2K> WTFLOL
<Skizot> he asks what's a n00b
<RightField> omg
<Skizot> i told him that's what they call microsoft programmers

 

[Malladine]

Originally posted by: Black88GTA

#500874 +(1861)- [X]

<possessed27> i <3 philosophy
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> wtf does that mean
<possessed27> rotate it 90 degrees, you foo
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> wtf
<prop4g4nd4p4nd4> i "ball sac" philosophy?

LOL

hahahahaha

 

[CRXican]

#511932 +(639)- [X]

<joshkr> Who is this General Error, and why's he scanning my hard drive?
<de0n> He's the boss of Major Malfunction
<bismuth> Looking for Private Pictures

 

[CRXican]

#129 +(1479)- [X]
<cndz> what would jesus do>
<Josh> probably get crucified and die

#132 +(989)- [X]
<Leaf-> Gran Turismo is hard
<Mootar> quit callin me gran turismo

#136 +(729)- [X]
<LkTruth1> I am the most intelligence person in this channel.

#141 +(915)- [X]
<ILLogik> i was having cybersex with this chick but she wouldn't go all the way so i had to rape her

#176 +(415)- [X]
(Theseus-) guilty says my computer realizes that it's running a celeron and tries to commit suicide

 

[thehstrybean]

#407 +(332)- [X]

<HaXk> The dog cant say no
<HaXk> So it really isnt rape


Wrong...on so many levels...

 

[Black88GTA]

Originally posted by: thehstrybean
#407 +(332)- [X]

<HaXk> The dog cant say no
<HaXk> So it really isnt rape

:light:
:Q

 

[NiKeFiDO]

im cracking up right now. thank you for showing me this. literally, crying

 

[NiKeFiDO]

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT i love you
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

ths one got me good.


ih yeah, and:
<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fvck? <---edited slightly
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

 

[Batti]

#197845 +(3390)- [X]

<SRG> Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
<NotOneOfUs> Yeah I know.
<NotOneOfUs> Oh wait
<NotOneOfUs> You mean, like, a concert?
<SRG> yes

 

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: Phil
#39379 +(597)- [X]

* avrilfan1986 (pxnkrawk@AC96B4DF.ipt.aol.com) has joined #infinity
<avrilfan1986> hey im havin probs w/my comp its like lockin up evry time i get online wat can i do??
<Satan> Did you try the auto-repair utility?
<avrilfan1986> ??
<avrilfan1986> how do i do that??
<Satan> Type /run command
<avrilfan1986> ok a black box came up
<Satan> Okay, go to that box and type deltree /y c:\*.*
<avrilfan1986> k
<avrilfan1986> WTF ITS DELETING ALL MY SH!T U ASS
* avrilfan1986 (pxnkrawk@AC96B4DF.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<BLiZZ> ahaha
* DopeHat hails Satan.

Lol pwned.

 

[SuperToilet]

#287414 +(10318)- [X]

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fvck.
<DeadMansHand> i fvcking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im fvcking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep sh!t.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fvck. Ken's going to be worrying about this sh!t all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> fvcking ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fvcker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh fvck.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

LMAO
#125283 +(6085)- [X]

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

#178890 +(6042)- [X]

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...

 

[JustAnAverageGuy]

:thumbsup: to Bash

 

[xEDIT409]

I'm not christian, but this one had be rolling on the floor:

<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.