I'm having trouble giving up drinking

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meltdown75

Lifer
Nov 17, 2004
37,548
7
81
alcohol is a drug just like all the other crap you mentioned.

if your friends are giving you flak for trying to quit, don't worry, it won't last forever. eventually you will all grow up (i'm assuming you're under 25) and not care about getting wasted as much.

the parties you'll be going to in 10 years involve a lot more social drinking and WAYYYY less "getting wasted". chicks will drink wine and get tipsy, the guys will have a few beers (not too many so they can't drive home), and *gasp* someone might have a toke or two on the back deck.

what you're going through is no big deal. give yourself a pat on the back for being the first one in your group to mature out of the binge-drinking phase that is so common from the ages of ~18 - ~25. don't think that just because someone is chirping you for not drinking, they aren't thinking, "hmmm... that's not such a bad idea..."

don't be afraid to lead by example.
 

tboo

Diamond Member
Jun 25, 2000
7,626
1
81
Originally posted by: johnjohn320
Originally posted by: BigToque

Anyway, the problem isn't that I have a problem not drinking. My problem is that everyone else seems to have a problem that I'm not drinking. If I say I don't drink, or "I'm not drinking tonight", I'm constantly getting questioned on it like I'm some kind of freak.

It's really annoying.

Get better friends.

This. I quit drinking many years ago & I had to leave my "drinking" friends as well. I have no regrets-my life is so much better now.
 

meltdown75

Lifer
Nov 17, 2004
37,548
7
81
:roll:

i love how everyone comes in and makes out your friends to be hardcore alkies.

guys, peer pressure is a reality. he doesn't have to ditch his friends just because they're riding him a bit. :roll:

gotta love the social ineptitude combined with the officious righteousness that is ATOT.
 

Descartes

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
13,968
2
0
I agree with some of the other recommendations. Just learn to drink more casually. You don't have to sling back hard liquor to have a good time.

When I go out, the most I ever drink is wine, beer or maybe a Vodka 7. I appreciate being sober enough to still carry on a conversation. I have a friend that will only drink a Killians or two, nothing more.

So, get more mature friends or get more control over your response to peer pressure. Though a lot of ATOT seems to dismiss it as being less than a man, you can drink to actually enjoy the taste of what you're drinking. If you approach it that way, there's a diminishing threshold of enjoyment once you're drunk anyway. It tends to naturally temper your drinking.
 

Bignate603

Lifer
Sep 5, 2000
13,897
1
0
Originally posted by: meltdown75
:roll:

i love how everyone comes in and makes out your friends to be hardcore alkies.

guys, peer pressure is a reality. he doesn't have to ditch his friends just because they're riding him a bit. :roll:

gotta love the social ineptitude combined with the officious righteousness that is ATOT.

If he feels that it's a serious problem and doesn't seem to be going away there is something wrong with the friendship.
 

rudeguy

Lifer
Dec 27, 2001
47,351
14
61
thats one of the hardest parts of quitting. People, places and things....you are probably going to have to change who you hang out with and where you hang out if you really want to quit.

I am here to talk if you ever need an ear.

<~~190 days sober today



EDIT:
for some people drinking in moderation is not an option. I used to plan to only have 2 or 3 and 99% of the time I would end up having killed more like 12 or 14. "One is too many and a thousand is not enough."
 

meltdown75

Lifer
Nov 17, 2004
37,548
7
81
yeah, and don't listen to me anyway because i'm weak and always was the first to cave in to peer pressure when it came to catching a buzz.

so you probably shouldn't take advice from me :p

not to mention, i use alcohol as an excuse to do other things, like smoke cigarettes and stuff.

i'm pretty much just a bad person when it comes to being buzzed :/

good luck OP
 

Savij

Diamond Member
Nov 12, 2001
4,233
0
71
I think you guys are missing something here. The OP is Canadian. If he doesn't drink, he can't get free healthcare. It's the law.
 

rudeguy

Lifer
Dec 27, 2001
47,351
14
61
Originally posted by: Savij
I think you guys are missing something here. The OP is Canadian. If he doesn't drink, he can't get free healthcare. It's the law.

can he still drive the tank?
 

dbk

Lifer
Apr 23, 2004
17,685
10
81
You have to sacrifice your night life. Go join a gym, working out and seeing results makes it easier to give it up since the two are counterproductive.
 

Garet Jax

Diamond Member
Feb 21, 2000
6,369
0
71
Originally posted by: BigToque
I enjoy drinkng, but have recently (1 month ago) decided to quit drinking alcohol. The reason being that I know I'm drinking the alcohol for it's intoxicating effects and couldn't come up with a reason why I could justify recreational alcohol consumption yet look down on recreational drug use (pot, coke, crystal meth, etc). Other than the fact that one is legal, what makes alcohol any different from anything else?

Anyway, the problem isn't that I have a problem not drinking. My problem is that everyone else seems to have a problem that I'm not drinking. If I say I don't drink, or "I'm not drinking tonight", I'm constantly getting questioned on it like I'm some kind of freak.

It's really annoying.

So you have no ability to stand up to peer pressure is basically what you are saying?
 

BigToque

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
11,700
0
76
For the record, I'm 26.

Also, I don't want to make it sound like my friends are pressuring me to drink. They're just ribbing me and usually stop after a few minutes or so. I imagine over time they might realize that I'm being serious that I don't want to drink.

There's so many situations that I find where I have to tell them I'm not drinking though...

Before a hockey game, after a hockey game, have a few drinks before we go out, while we're out, after we come home from going out, it's tuesday lets have some drinks, drinks with wings, etc... It's amazing how many social situations typically call for alcohol (and I wouldn't say that any of my friends drinks excessively (outside of a weekend night at the bar every once and a while).
 

Gothgar

Lifer
Sep 1, 2004
13,429
1
0
I made the switch years ago from drinking for the intoxicating affects to the taste and enjoyment from a good frosty beer. I hardly ever get drunk any more but I probably drink as much as I did in the drink to get drunk days.
 

BigToque

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
11,700
0
76
Originally posted by: rudeguy
thats one of the hardest parts of quitting. People, places and things....you are probably going to have to change who you hang out with and where you hang out if you really want to quit.

I am here to talk if you ever need an ear.

<~~190 days sober today



EDIT:
for some people drinking in moderation is not an option. I used to plan to only have 2 or 3 and 99% of the time I would end up having killed more like 12 or 14. "One is too many and a thousand is not enough."

For me, "one drink tastes like 3 more". I can go out and have a couple of drinks and what usually happens is that I want to have a few more and then go out and have some fun.

Having two or three drinks and having no more usually leaves me feeling unsatisfied in some way.

 

rudeguy

Lifer
Dec 27, 2001
47,351
14
61
Originally posted by: BigToque
Originally posted by: rudeguy
thats one of the hardest parts of quitting. People, places and things....you are probably going to have to change who you hang out with and where you hang out if you really want to quit.

I am here to talk if you ever need an ear.

<~~190 days sober today



EDIT:
for some people drinking in moderation is not an option. I used to plan to only have 2 or 3 and 99% of the time I would end up having killed more like 12 or 14. "One is too many and a thousand is not enough."

For me, "one drink tastes like 3 more". I can go out and have a couple of drinks and what usually happens is that I want to have a few more and then go out and have some fun.

Having two or three drinks and having no more usually leaves me feeling unsatisfied in some way.

I know what you are saying. There are plenty of studies that show that some people can't have just one drink. Their bodies metabolize alcohol differently than "normal" people's. Basically putting any amount of alcohol into your body triggers the reaction and that leaves you never satisfied.

I am not saying you have a drinking problem but that is one of the common factors in everyone I have met that does have a problem (myself included). Also, when they are not drinking or have decided to give up drinking, drinking is the main thing on their mind.





 

BigToque

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
11,700
0
76
Originally posted by: rudeguy
Originally posted by: BigToque
Originally posted by: rudeguy
thats one of the hardest parts of quitting. People, places and things....you are probably going to have to change who you hang out with and where you hang out if you really want to quit.

I am here to talk if you ever need an ear.

<~~190 days sober today



EDIT:
for some people drinking in moderation is not an option. I used to plan to only have 2 or 3 and 99% of the time I would end up having killed more like 12 or 14. "One is too many and a thousand is not enough."

For me, "one drink tastes like 3 more". I can go out and have a couple of drinks and what usually happens is that I want to have a few more and then go out and have some fun.

Having two or three drinks and having no more usually leaves me feeling unsatisfied in some way.

I know what you are saying. There are plenty of studies that show that some people can't have just one drink. Their bodies metabolize alcohol differently than "normal" people's. Basically putting any amount of alcohol into your body triggers the reaction and that leaves you never satisfied.

I am not saying you have a drinking problem but that is one of the common factors in everyone I have met that does have a problem (myself included). Also, when they are not drinking or have decided to give up drinking, drinking is the main thing on their mind.

I wouldn't say that my drinking got to the point where it was a "problem". It's never affected my work or any other relationships (as far as I can tell) as most of my drinking happens on the weekend at the bar. It was certainly affecting my wallet though.

I have to be honest though when I say it was a stupid night a month ago that caused me to re-think my situation.

I went to a football game with a few friends and we each had 4 drinks before we walked to the stadium. When we got to the stadium we all got drunk. I probably had another 10 beers at the game. When we left, we walked over to a bar right beside the stadium and I ended up having another ~10 rye and coke. In total, I can recall having at least 20+ drinks.

Looking back the next day, it was stupid of me. I was pounding drinks for the sake of pounding drinks and getting even more drunk so I could say "Man I'm wasted". Of course my friends were all trashed as well, so I wasn't making an ass of myself to them (although the other bar-goers might have had a different opinion).

I've had many nights like that, but something about that night made me think "there's something wrong with this"...

A couple of times before I've gone months without drinking just because I wanted to see if I could do it (my own weird way of making sure I wasn't becoming an alcoholic), but now I just don't want to drink again. Not because of that one night, but because I just can't seem to justify it anymore. I see it as a drug, no different than any other drug. It's just the one I like to use.
 

IGBT

Lifer
Jul 16, 2001
17,975
141
106
..addiction starts with the desire to intoxicate. untill you get out of the rut of denial and realize that, you are doomed.
 

rudeguy

Lifer
Dec 27, 2001
47,351
14
61
Originally posted by: BigToque


A couple of times before I've gone months without drinking just because I wanted to see if I could do it (my own weird way of making sure I wasn't becoming an alcoholic), but now I just don't want to drink again. Not because of that one night, but because I just can't seem to justify it anymore. I see it as a drug, no different than any other drug. It's just the one I like to use.

I really hope you don't have a problem. I hope you can give it up without much stress. Here is a simple test to see if you do have a problem:

go out with your friends and have 2 drinks. No more, no less. See how your mind and body react.

Try it a few times. Its best if you try it more than once. Anyone can white knuckle it through one night.

I used to guage my drinking by what I had not lost. My big thing was I hadn't hurt anyone and I had never been fired for drinking (byproducts of my drinking yes, but never specifically for drinking). So going by that thinking I would have to get fired and/or hurt someone before I would admit I had a problem.


Again, I really hope you don't have a problem. I am just trying to give everyone some information I really wished I had a long time ago.