I don't want to go back to my Mom's house it's so humiliating. Don't tell me to go back to my parents house. My life is so crap...
Mental services would not help me. I don't mind government welfare program so they can write me a check every month. I don't know if I should take that though.
That's a tough decision. I may have a beard somewhat resembling a lumberjack, but I'm no outdoors woodsman. I was homeless for a day or two, just to try out the lifestyle. It wasn't fun.
So, anyways, there's kind of like this, "continuum of 'freedom'". There's the freedom
from society, that you get, by going off in the woods somewhere, and being homeless. Not tied down to a job, an income, rent, etc. But that's a double-edged sword.
Then there's the 'Freedom' of being a part of society. Society progresses, and it gets there, by everyone standing on other people's shoulders, to paraphrase a famous saying. If you don't have shoulders to stand on (society's support mechanisms), then you're not going to rise very high. But by the same token, society places constraints on you, and demands certain responsibilities, along with conferring certain protections for God-given In-Alienable rights ("to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness").
One thing that you may not have considered... homeless people and run-ins with the law, not all police and judges and whatnot understand mental illness, especially if you've never been officially diagnosed with something. I've had run-ins with the law, once when I "went homeless". They really don't consider you to be a part of society, or have rights, for the most part. It's pretty sad. But that's something that you might have issues with, if you pursue this "homeless dream". It's not all just "riding off into the sunset". The police may whip up a phoney charge, and get you arrested, and you might get a Public Defender, that's not so up to snuff, and then... you might lose your freedom of movement, being confined to a cell most of the time.
I would rather be homeless and not have to worry about this rent and bills... All that huge fines / late fees I have to pay on the rent too. My rent contract ends around this June. I am not gonna renew it and get the heck out of here... throw out all my belongings like bed and other stuff... move to a wilderness and setup a tent.
This is really... not so wise?
I mean, I personally suffer from a pretty serious mental illness, so serious that I'm deemed mostly unemployable by a "real job".
(Edit: But despite that, due to my disability check, my subsidized (public) housing, and my social services and meds, I'm able to live a fairly normal life, sort of, even though I struggle day by day with my illness. Some days are even enjoyable. I question if being "tied down" to meds, and services, is really Freedom, though. But from a Humane perspective, it seems better than fighting amongst homeless people for scraps of food.)
I don't really like it, but it pays the bills, I'm on disability, and I have a social services organization that helps me, therapy and psychiatry (basically, medication). It kind of sucks, but it's.... kind of bearable? And kind of insane, in a sort of way, too. Or maybe, that's just me.
I find an outlet in my tech hobby. I really should be making YT videos, what with all of the builds and new toys and stuff I get. I'm a really sharp bargain-shopper though, well, for most things. I do manage to stretch my money, but I really should be eating better, I've let my health decline over the last 20 years.
That's what I'm afraid will happen to you, cheez. If you go off in the woods somewhere, maybe no-one will hear from you again. And we will be sad.
🙁
What happens if you don't have a doctor, or a place to get meds at, or fix a broken bone? Are the woodland elves going to do it?
Look, cheez, I believe you. I also believe that you have a similar "mental illness" to mine. I put that in quotes, because ... it's kind of a matter of perspective. Maybe, from society's point-of-view, you have a "mental illness", and should probably get on some sort of disability. Or, maybe it's society that's suffering from a mass mental illness, and you are one of the few that are a witness to the Truth. I face that conundrum quite often.
Here's what I would (armchair quarterback mode ON) do, if I were in your shoes.
If you are in the USA, and willing to deal with social services organization and the US Gov't, then you could apply for SSI and SSDI. I live in a "Liberal" state, so social services are plentiful here, and very effective. I am very lucky to be living where I am right now.
Or, if you don't want to go the route of a handout, and being slave to medication schedules and psychiatric visits, I would recommend, BEFORE you get "diagnosed", get a Passport, and get the F out of this country, find a nice little place in the Caribbean somewhere, or in the US Virgin Islands (never been to either, honestly, but I hear that they're nice, and of course, they're warm). Become a "beach bum". Maybe learn to paint or play a guitar. Maybe start doing portraits of tourists or busking for a little extra money. (I think it's possible to live in a US Territory or Protectorate, like US Virgin Islands, and still collect Social Security Disability.)
But living in the woods, in the Northern Hemisphere, well, that's best for the Moose and Bear, not "homeless" Humans.
Edit: PS. Sorry for high-jacking your thread with my long post. I hope that you are able to fully consider the longer-term ramifications and risks, along with "benefits" of moving into the Woods. Personally, I liked the idea of moving into a Monastery. That sounded better than being homeless in the Woods somewhere.