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I'm engaged. Thank you, ATOT.

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*sigh*

Update:

Well... for the most part, my parents were cordial and they acknowledged him.

My mother thought he was a very sweet guy and bought him a watch, a robe, and a dress shirt... she actually cried at the end when she spoke with me about our situation, telling me that he was a very good boy with a good heart (and light years ahead of all the losers I'd dated in the past), she just didn't think he was the right one for me.

My father was agreed with my mom that "he's a good boy", but he doesn't think he'll be able to ever fully accept him into the family because he isn't Chinese. 🙁

My sisters were pretty neutral. There was a bit of drama over the weekend, which is why I wasn't able to make it to the Dallas ATOT meetup. 🙁 Both of us were really looking forward to that too, which made it even worse. *sigh*

All in all... it could've been much worse, I guess. Only time will tell what happens next... we'll be moving in together on May 4th.
 
Originally posted by: Dezign
*sigh*

Update:

Well... for the most part, my parents were cordial and they acknowledged him.

My mother thought he was a very sweet guy and bought him a watch, a robe, and a dress shirt... she actually cried at the end when she spoke with me about our situation, telling me that he was a very good boy with a good heart (and light years ahead of all the losers I'd dated in the past), she just didn't think he was the right one for me.

My father was agreed with my mom that "he's a good boy", but he doesn't think he'll be able to ever fully accept him into the family because he isn't Chinese. 🙁

My sisters were pretty neutral. There was a bit of drama over the weekend, which is why I wasn't able to make it to the Dallas ATOT meetup. 🙁 Both of us were really looking forward to that too, which made it even worse. *sigh*

All in all... it could've been much worse, I guess. Only time will tell what happens next... we'll be moving in together on May 4th.
Click to expand...
good luck. resolve any family issues before getting married.

 
Originally posted by: Dezign
*sigh*

Update:

Well... for the most part, my parents were cordial and they acknowledged him.

My mother thought he was a very sweet guy and bought him a watch, a robe, and a dress shirt... she actually cried at the end when she spoke with me about our situation, telling me that he was a very good boy with a good heart (and light years ahead of all the losers I'd dated in the past), she just didn't think he was the right one for me.

My father was agreed with my mom that "he's a good boy", but he doesn't think he'll be able to ever fully accept him into the family because he isn't Chinese. 🙁

My sisters were pretty neutral. There was a bit of drama over the weekend, which is why I wasn't able to make it to the Dallas ATOT meetup. 🙁 Both of us were really looking forward to that too, which made it even worse. *sigh*

All in all... it could've been much worse, I guess. Only time will tell what happens next... we'll be moving in together on May 4th.
Click to expand...
Well honestly you can't expect your parents or your sisters to jump for joy and totally embrace the idea. They don't even know this person and they probably think you don't know him that well either. You parents are probably just worried and are trying to protect you. Although your father not accepting him b/c he's not Chinese is borderline racist. I think your fiance will have to prove himself longer than a 2 day stay at your parents if he wants to gain their approval. Anyone can put on a good show for a couple of days. See how your parents feel in a year after you get to know him better and hopefully they get to know him better face to face or through you (if distance is a factor).
 
Heh heh, white boy gets no love from the Chinaman.

Meh, I'd say who cares but it's pretty much in the air as to wether or not your family will ever warm up to him (or him to them).

Awkward moments with family SUCK when acceptance is involved. Your rents are pucked up for saying such things by the why, people are people and for them to tell you he won't ever blend in is lame on their part.
 
Originally posted by: Dezign
*sigh*

Update:

Well... for the most part, my parents were cordial and they acknowledged him.

My mother thought he was a very sweet guy and bought him a watch, a robe, and a dress shirt... she actually cried at the end when she spoke with me about our situation, telling me that he was a very good boy with a good heart (and light years ahead of all the losers I'd dated in the past), she just didn't think he was the right one for me.

My father was agreed with my mom that "he's a good boy", but he doesn't think he'll be able to ever fully accept him into the family because he isn't Chinese. 🙁

My sisters were pretty neutral. There was a bit of drama over the weekend, which is why I wasn't able to make it to the Dallas ATOT meetup. 🙁 Both of us were really looking forward to that too, which made it even worse. *sigh*

All in all... it could've been much worse, I guess. Only time will tell what happens next... we'll be moving in together on May 4th.
Click to expand...

With a racist father, who'd want to be a part of a family like that anyway? Who cares what your parents think. If you want to marry this guy, then marry him.
 
Originally posted by: Yossarian
<blockquote>Quote
Originally posted by: Dezign
There was a bit of drama over the weekend, which is why I wasn't able to make it to the Dallas ATOT meetup. 🙁 .
Click to expand...

NO WAY!!! YOU'RE MAKING THAT UP.[/quote]

haha
 
Originally posted by: spidey07
<blockquote>Quote
Originally posted by: Dezign
*sigh*

Update:

Well... for the most part, my parents were cordial and they acknowledged him.

My mother thought he was a very sweet guy and bought him a watch, a robe, and a dress shirt... she actually cried at the end when she spoke with me about our situation, telling me that he was a very good boy with a good heart (and light years ahead of all the losers I'd dated in the past), she just didn't think he was the right one for me.

My father was agreed with my mom that "he's a good boy", but he doesn't think he'll be able to ever fully accept him into the family because he isn't Chinese. 🙁

My sisters were pretty neutral. There was a bit of drama over the weekend, which is why I wasn't able to make it to the Dallas ATOT meetup. 🙁 Both of us were really looking forward to that too, which made it even worse. *sigh*

All in all... it could've been much worse, I guess. Only time will tell what happens next... we'll be moving in together on May 4th.
Click to expand...
good luck. resolve any family issues before getting married.[/quote]

I've heard of turning Japanese, but not Chinese. Can you point me in the right direction?

That sucks, but your family is traditional and they can only accept him in time. It's a bitter pill for pure-nationalities that think their bloodline is being tainted. Been there done that, only member of my family to marry a non-white...adding some yellow to the bloodline as well 😛 Thank goodness my family has been for the most part accepting, else I could really care less.
 
Why do you assume that her father is racist b/c he wants his daughter to marry a Chinese? My parents wanted me to do the same (marry a Chinese guy). The reason wasn't b/c of race but b/c of culture. And yes coming from two different cultures adds another wrinkle into the marriage. That doesn't mean it can't be conquered, but it does need to be acknowledged by both parties and worked at.

Good luck to you and your finance. Your family will come to accept him after they get to know him. My parents were the same way, but now I think my mom "likes" my hubby more than she likes me. 😉

Tiqua

 
Parents hate everyone that tries to marry their children. Especially Asian parents!!

My mom is Chinese (I am 1/2 Chinese, 1/2 White), and I know that no one I ever date will be good enough. That's why they just don't ever meet my mom 😉 But I've been going through this with her for years now (I'm 30 years old). My dad was a different story, but he passed away in 1992 so I don't get any complaints from him about who I date.

Anyway, although I'm not even close to getting married yet, I have no hopes that my mom would ever approve of her 🙂 It's just the way things work sometimes!!

Just make sure you're happy and if your family truly cares about your happiness then everything will work out (eventually).

Good luck!
 
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: Dezign
*sigh*

Update:

Well... for the most part, my parents were cordial and they acknowledged him.

My mother thought he was a very sweet guy and bought him a watch, a robe, and a dress shirt... she actually cried at the end when she spoke with me about our situation, telling me that he was a very good boy with a good heart (and light years ahead of all the losers I'd dated in the past), she just didn't think he was the right one for me.

My father was agreed with my mom that "he's a good boy", but he doesn't think he'll be able to ever fully accept him into the family because he isn't Chinese. 🙁

My sisters were pretty neutral. There was a bit of drama over the weekend, which is why I wasn't able to make it to the Dallas ATOT meetup. 🙁 Both of us were really looking forward to that too, which made it even worse. *sigh*

All in all... it could've been much worse, I guess. Only time will tell what happens next... we'll be moving in together on May 4th.
Click to expand...

With a racist father, who'd want to be a part of a family like that anyway? Who cares what your parents think. If you want to marry this guy, then marry him.
Click to expand...


Now, to be fair, I'm sure a lot of people here would not let their daughter marry a black man.
 
I'm not chinese but most of my clothing was made there. Marry me, baby.
rose.gif

 
My father was agreed with my mom that "he's a good boy", but he doesn't think he'll be able to ever fully accept him into the family because he isn't Chinese.
Click to expand...
If your parents are good parents they'll get over it.
 
Originally posted by: Shelly21
Originally posted by: FFMCobalt
Originally posted by: Dezign
*sigh*

Update:

Well... for the most part, my parents were cordial and they acknowledged him.

My mother thought he was a very sweet guy and bought him a watch, a robe, and a dress shirt... she actually cried at the end when she spoke with me about our situation, telling me that he was a very good boy with a good heart (and light years ahead of all the losers I'd dated in the past), she just didn't think he was the right one for me.

My father was agreed with my mom that "he's a good boy", but he doesn't think he'll be able to ever fully accept him into the family because he isn't Chinese. 🙁

My sisters were pretty neutral. There was a bit of drama over the weekend, which is why I wasn't able to make it to the Dallas ATOT meetup. 🙁 Both of us were really looking forward to that too, which made it even worse. *sigh*

All in all... it could've been much worse, I guess. Only time will tell what happens next... we'll be moving in together on May 4th.
Click to expand...

With a racist father, who'd want to be a part of a family like that anyway? Who cares what your parents think. If you want to marry this guy, then marry him.
Click to expand...


Now, to be fair, I'm sure a lot of people here would not let their daughter marry a black man.
Click to expand...
Traditional asian parents are not necessarily racist. They're typically just reserved. There's a difference. Don't let Americanism fool you into thinking it's simply a black and white issue.

 
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