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I'm drinking a gin & tonic on the toilet

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While browsing the internet from my smartphone. This is why America is the greatest country in the world.

Take notes, Iran.
 
I'm sitting on my bed, drinking coffee, rubbing my pussy, and neffing on ATOT. Even Germany's got nothin' on me.
 
While browsing the internet from my smartphone. This is why America is the greatest country in the world.

Take notes, Iran.

Not even Star Trek could predict that. Romulan ale on the shitter while accessing the entire knowledgebase of the species and using it to, I'm assuming, masturbate to pictures of kittens with misspelled captions? The future is now.
 
I'm neffing from the comfort of my couch watching the Columbus / Islanders game. Why would anyone watch baseball when hockey is in season? I'd rather watch mosquitos bone.
 
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