I'm considering moving out and going to Oregon...

[sumguy1]

Originally posted by: f4phantom2500

Originally posted by: sumguy1
Instead of running away, maybe you should evaluate your life and the choices you are making where you are now that caused you to flunk out of college. What makes you think things are going to be any different in Oregon for you than they are in Texas if you don't do some soul searching and make some deep personal changes. Changing your surroundings is only superficial. You'll still be a F!*K up but you just be in Oregon instead of Texas. You're 19. Yes people your age should be having some fun in life. But these are the years when you are becoming the man you are going to be for the rest of your life. That means you need to start thinking further into your future than just being able to afford some beater car a few months down the road. You can go to Oregon if you want, sure. But where are you going with your life?

Two 19 year olds living with no real parental/family supervision or guidance. . .one of them known to come from a troubled family. The other a community college flunk out. I cannot see anything productive or good coming of this situation. Sorry to be blunt, but given the information you have posted for us here, I am just calling it like I see it.

It would help to know what caused your GPA to fall so low that you are not allowed to go back to your local school. Or maybe that's just my morbid curiosity. I'm guessing you are spending more time partying than studying because you seem to be at least somewhat intelligent. . .assuming you spent any time studying at all. . .which you must not have to fail out of community college. Do you really think that moving hundreds of miles away from whatever family and guidance you do have is going to help that situation?

First off, thanks for your feedback; that's a very good subjective outlook on my situation. Ok, sorry I didn't mention it, but I'm actually going to a state university (University of Texas at Dallas). The thing is, I don't feel happy here; I haven't ever felt happy living in this area since we moved up here from west Texas, and I just don't feel like I've had a chance to start my own life since I live so close to home and everything. Plus I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do when I graduated high school, I just went to UTD because it seemed like a good choice (even though it wasn't really what I wanted to do, it seemed like a good thing to do and I had to do something). I am more sure about this than I was about that. Also it would give me a chance to really start relying on myself financially and really becoming dependent; I feel like my decisions are guided by my parents wishes and I just don't know if I can live like that anymore. Plus at this point it's either go to community college in Oregon or go to community college in Denton (living with my parents), so I would just be living with my parents.

I have a lot of procrastination issues, that coupled with being generally unhappy with my life, and that college has so far just felt like an extension of high school instead of a new phase of life, I think, just lead me to not dedicating myself and not being in a situation where I could thrive and succeed here.

Does that answer your questions?

It partially answers them. But the question remains what were you doing instead of studying/homework assignments/learning etc. . .that caused your GPA to suffer so badly? Being unhappy in and of itself does not explain your whereabouts and your activities during times you could have been preparing for tests and such. You need to be totally honest with yourself and objective and analyze yourself and your habbits that are causing you to fail if you want to affect a change in your life. Running away from problems only puts off dealing with them until later. You are a self admitted procrastinator so this would fit your M.O. I'm not saying don't go to Oregon. But if you do so, make sure you are really doing it for the right reasons and deluding yourself into thinking that your problems where you are now are out of your control. It's called taking personal responsiblity for your life and guess what. . .it's part of growing up. And don't be so sure that things are going to work out like you hope they will. You are going to move halfway across the country in the hopes of being able to shack up with a buddy and live rent free. But there are contingencies that could happen that could ruin that plan. . .most notable of which is that your residence could be sold out from under you at any time.

I understand the feeling of the need to set out on your own and make it in the world. But I'd be far more likely to say this particular plan would be a good idea for you if you had already demonstrated the ability to handle life and succeed while you still live at home with your parents. I don't want to make you out to be some big loser or something but as a relative stranger, it is far easier for me to be blunt and call things like I see them. Based on what I know from this thread, my "bad idea at this time" alarm is blaring. If you want your parents blessing, make some changes and prove to them you are ready to handle yourself in the world. You don't need to be 1000 miles away from home to start relying on yourself and being financially independent. Just start doing it. Your parents will notice I promise you. You have to let yourself be dependent on them. You always have the choice to do it yourself whatever "it" is. But isn't it nice having the nearby safety net of family incase you stumble along the way?

 

[SpazzyChicken]

Originally posted by: Looney
Do you like rain?

The entire state of Oregon is not like that, especially south/east of the cascades. I grew up in Klamath Falls, and there were 300+ sunny days per year. Ashland/Medford is similar. Ashland averages 19 inches of rain per year (Portland is 35-40).

Ashland is great.......you are close to the coast, the Rouge River is right there, and you aren't too far from Portland for concerts/shows. Eugene is really close if you are in to that hippie stuff 😉

I have moved to Las Vegas and now Atlanta for work, and I miss Oregon badly. If you think you and your friend can get along together, go for it. Just remember, best friends doesn't always mean perfect roommates.

 

[dainthomas]

Since Oregon >> Texas, it's hard for me to think of a situation in which this wouldn't be a good idea. Maybe if you're allergic to mountains, trees, and fresh air.

As a bonus, you'd lose the hillbilly accent.

 

[Vic]

Ashland is a small hippie town (~20,000 people) in the southern Rogue River valley just north of California. It's kind of where old hippies go to die. 😛
Seriously though, the town has an old natural springs long considered to be healthful, and so has always attracted a lot holistic/alternative medicine types. It is also very quaint and quite beautiful. Lots of old San Francisco style homes, etc.
The climate is mostly dry and warm, with very hot summers. It gets mildly cold with some rain in the winter, but the snow on the mountains almost never goes all the way down to the valley floor.
The largest city in the area is Medford (pop ~75,000) about 15 miles north. Plenty of services (it's a regional medical hub for all the old folks in the area) but more or less ZERO night life. Ashland has some nicer restaurants, but those don't really cater to the under-40 crowd.
I think that's the biggest shock that someone moving there from a metropolis like Dallas,TX would experience. These are towns, not actual cities. And it's smack dab right in the middle, 300 miles or 4 hours drive, away from the nearest actual cities, which are Portland and Sacramento (SF is another hour past Sac, Seattle another 3 hours past Portland). I lived there for year and never got used to the remoteness. Great great place to live though if you like the outdoor life or for people looking to raise a family away from a big city.

 

[KeithTalent]

Oregon rules! A great state with great scenery and great beer!

What are you waiting for? Start moving!

KT

 

[sumguy1]

Originally posted by: Vic
Ashland is a small hippie town (~20,000 people) in the southern Rogue River valley just north of California. It's kind of where old hippies go to die. 😛
Seriously though, the town has an old natural springs long considered to be healthful, and so has always attracted a lot holistic/alternative medicine types. It is also very quaint and quite beautiful. Lots of old San Francisco style homes, etc.
The climate is mostly dry and warm, with very hot summers. It gets mildly cold with some rain in the winter, but the snow on the mountains almost never goes all the way down to the valley floor.
The largest city in the area is Medford (pop ~75,000) about 15 miles north. Plenty of services (it's a regional medical hub for all the old folks in the area) but more or less ZERO night life. Ashland has some nicer restaurants, but those don't really cater to the under-40 crowd.
I think that's the biggest shock that someone moving there from a metropolis like Dallas,TX would experience. These are towns, not actual cities. And it's smack dab right in the middle, 300 miles or 4 hours drive, away from the nearest actual cities, which are Portland and Sacramento (SF is another hour past Sac, Seattle another 3 hours past Portland). I lived there for year and never got used to the remoteness. Great great place to live though if you like the outdoor life or for people looking to raise a family away from a big city.

Wow that does sound like quite an attractive place to live. . .if only there were some way to drive out all the hippies.

 

[f4phantom2500]

sumguy1:

yeah, actually telling what i did was the one thing i forgot in that post lol. basically i was not doing school work; i'm such a horrible procrastinator that i spend most of my time trying to find stuff to do that would keep me busy (but isn't actually important) so that i wouldn't do my work, such as mess around on the internet or play video games. this mentality could definitely transfer over with me, but i really do intend to start changing things, the thing is that i just want to be dependent from my parents, and at this point my only real alternative is living with my parents and going to community college there, which would be exactly like high school. plus i would feel very shameful if i just retreated back to my parent's house after messing up like this; i don't want to fall back on them, i want to get out and make my own life. oregon is the only other place i have.

vic:

lol, like i said, i lived in west texas for the first 12 years of my life, and i actually lived in suburbia until last august or so, so not having any places to go won't bother me; the outdoors and cable is enough for me.

dainthomas: i don't have a twang; my mom's from socal and my dad's originally from ohio, but grew up all over the place (he even lived in oregon for a few years, actually).

 

[Dualist]

It's up to you, whether you like the weather and the events they have over there. Oregon just may have some great adventures waiting for you.

 

[yowolabi]

Originally posted by: slsmnaz
You're 19 and that is the best reason. You can't do things like this in a few years because of responsibilities. What is the worst thing that can happen if it doesn't work out?

This is my feeling. It'll help you to mature to get away from your parents and adjust to a new situation. Once you start the "real world" you won't have nearly as much opportunity to see different places. As long as you leave on good terms with your parent's you can always come back to where you are now. Even if you aren't on good terms, you can always move back and live somewhere else.

 

[Vic]

Originally posted by: sumguy1
Wow that does sound like quite an attractive place to live. . .if only there were some way to drive out all the hippies.

Medford, Grants Pass, and most of the other surrounding towns are quite conservative. Ashland is almost like an island unto itself in a way. And they keep in that way through property values that have always been like twice those in the rest of the valley.
The really rural neighboring valleys, like the Applegate, Illinois, etc. have a number of folks living off the grid. Some entirely so, but most have little utility communes with their own dams or solar for electricity, wells for water, etc.
The Rogue River has good rafting and fishing. Mt. Ashland has crappy skiing. I hear there's a new ski resort closer to Klamath Falls (a little over an hour east), but I haven't been there.

Something I forgot to mention. If you're into the arts, the Oregon Shakespeare Festival is one of the best in the country.

 

[sumguy1]

Originally posted by: f4phantom2500
sumguy1:

yeah, actually telling what i did was the one thing i forgot in that post lol. basically i was not doing school work; i'm such a horrible procrastinator that i spend most of my time trying to find stuff to do that would keep me busy (but isn't actually important) so that i wouldn't do my work, such as mess around on the internet or play video games. this mentality could definitely transfer over with me, but i really do intend to start changing things, the thing is that i just want to be dependent from my parents, and at this point my only real alternative is living with my parents and going to community college there, which would be exactly like high school. plus i would feel very shameful if i just retreated back to my parent's house after messing up like this; i don't want to fall back on them, i want to get out and make my own life. oregon is the only other place i have.

Is it that you would feel ashamed to move back with your folks or that you just don't feel like having them nagging you to knock it off with the video games and do the things you know you really should be doing anyway but that you don't want to do? Sounds to me like you know where you screwed up. But can you change it alone? Maybe right now you need somebody looking over your shoulder helping you get back on the right track.

See I did a similar thing to what you are proposing a while back in my life. I was falling into some bad habbits and doing some things I knew I should not have been doing with some people who I considered to be my friends at the time. I knew this. . .so I moved away for school. . .650 miles from home to Atlanta, Georgia. I was trying to escape what I thought was a bad environment making me do bad things. I was getting too involved in partying and recreational drug use so I thought I needed to run away and start over. But you know what? I went, and I got straightened up for a while but I replaced my drug use with binge drinking. I had replaced one bad habbit with another. Somehow these habbits had followed me! How could this be?! I got out of hand with drinking and after a while it started causing me problems in life. I was alone 650 miles from family support and I just kept digging myself deeper oblivious to how bad I was becoming with the booze. But at least I was off those drugs, right? Without going into too much more detail, there came a point when I was forced to wake up and realize, the environment I was in was not my problem. It didn't help. . .but it wasn't the problem because I CHOSE to constantly surround myself with enablers and people like me. Eventually I came to the realization when I had no other choice that I WAS THE PROBLEM. And until I made some meaningful personal changes, I was going to follow myself around wherever I went. If you are unhappy with who you are and the way your life is going, change it. That is the only way. You can't run away from yourself.

All this is some 7-8 years behind me now. I am no longer the same miserable wretch of a human shell I once was. (I'm miserable for much different but normal reasons now! 😛 ) And while my story may not be your story exactly, maybe it will help somehow.