manlymatt83
Lifer
You all know that I ask questions on here left and right and have you guys help me make decisions. See, deep down, I know what my decision should be, and I almost always have my decision made before I post.... "Should I break up with this girl?" ... "Which girl should I go for?" .... "This girl is dragging me around in the dirt, but should I continue to let her do it?" .... all very easy questions to answer.
I think I've realized something about myself. Somehow, I've learned to dislike american society so much, that I seem to think I'm better than other people. For instance, my close friends have wanted me to sign up for myspace for years, mainly because they invite people to parties and such through it. Now, these are close friends who I see all the time, but there are two main reasons why I won't do it (even though I want to, strictly for keeping in touch): a) I'm a web developer, so I wonder why I didn't think of the idea first, but then I think about how I really wouldn't have wanted to do something like that anyway. b) Because I'm stubborn, and if I stay "off" a web account with those sites, it makes me better than people who actually give in.
I wonder why I've developed a personality like this. I don't like it.
Then I get anxious about stupid health related concerns that really aren't that major, and I wonder why people who are looking at me tell me to calm down and relax. THEY probably look at ME and think ... "wtf is going on with this kid?" ... so the situation is reversed.
So see .... I'm learning more and more that I spend so much of my time being stubborn, not listening to what doctors say, not listening to what friends say, not doing something I think I'm too "cool" for, playing things off as if its something I just "really don't want to do", overanalyzing everything, and end up stressing myself out, instead of just living life, taking things day by day, and not being stubborn about things.
Then, I'm the idiot that racked up $30,000 in credit card debt while I was in College because, although I had a really good job, I didn't have the guts to say "No". Or, I was the idiot who spent thousands in a casino when I first turned 21, while everyone else played quarters in the slots. I was obviously the idiot in these cases.
Anyone ever go through something like this before? How did they get past it?
I think I've realized something about myself. Somehow, I've learned to dislike american society so much, that I seem to think I'm better than other people. For instance, my close friends have wanted me to sign up for myspace for years, mainly because they invite people to parties and such through it. Now, these are close friends who I see all the time, but there are two main reasons why I won't do it (even though I want to, strictly for keeping in touch): a) I'm a web developer, so I wonder why I didn't think of the idea first, but then I think about how I really wouldn't have wanted to do something like that anyway. b) Because I'm stubborn, and if I stay "off" a web account with those sites, it makes me better than people who actually give in.
I wonder why I've developed a personality like this. I don't like it.
Then I get anxious about stupid health related concerns that really aren't that major, and I wonder why people who are looking at me tell me to calm down and relax. THEY probably look at ME and think ... "wtf is going on with this kid?" ... so the situation is reversed.
So see .... I'm learning more and more that I spend so much of my time being stubborn, not listening to what doctors say, not listening to what friends say, not doing something I think I'm too "cool" for, playing things off as if its something I just "really don't want to do", overanalyzing everything, and end up stressing myself out, instead of just living life, taking things day by day, and not being stubborn about things.
Then, I'm the idiot that racked up $30,000 in credit card debt while I was in College because, although I had a really good job, I didn't have the guts to say "No". Or, I was the idiot who spent thousands in a casino when I first turned 21, while everyone else played quarters in the slots. I was obviously the idiot in these cases.
Anyone ever go through something like this before? How did they get past it?
