ok all you funny and entertaining people here's your chance to shine. tell me a joke or a funny story or somthing just make sure it's good.
:|:Q:disgust::frown:
:|:Q:disgust::frown:
I'm bored somebody entertain me....
- Thread starter bigvince
- Start date
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down
Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels
in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky
for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. . .He'll be in a good
mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels
in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky
for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. . .He'll be in a good
mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
entertain yourself by trying to get Russ to post his 10,000th post. I know he is out there watching......
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was
the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the
body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen
all over, so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give
all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body
wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to
see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible
for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a
huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible
headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got
watery and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
You don't have to be important to be in charge....Just
an asshole..
the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the
body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen
all over, so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give
all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body
wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to
see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible
for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a
huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible
headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got
watery and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
You don't have to be important to be in charge....Just
an asshole..
the faces are there to encourage you so use the emoticons to your advantage
maby i can get russ to put th ebig 10k here we'll see.....
maby i can get russ to put th ebig 10k here we'll see.....
1 + 1 = 2
2 + 2 = 4
3 + 3 = 6
4 + 4 = 8
5 + 5 = 10
just continue it! i hope u will feel not boring now
2 + 2 = 4
3 + 3 = 6
4 + 4 = 8
5 + 5 = 10
just continue it!
i hope u will feel not boring now I can post a few more rants. My main enemy has left but there are several ready to take his place. Today I'll add another one to the list. There is one guy here that's makes Fat Bastard from Austin Powers look like Brad Pitt. He smokes and drinks lots of coffee so mouth from 3 feet away smells like the wrong end of the elephant with diharrea.
Windogg
Windogg
<< He smokes and drinks lots of coffee so mouth from 3 feet away smells like the wrong end of the elephant with diharrea. >>
Office life is so grand, ain't it?! There's a thread on here somewhere about someone working with someone that smelled and looked really bad, eventually someone happened to visit the cubicle and actually throw up from the experience
:disgust:Windogg (if thats your real name),
LOL
i had a teach in highschool like that talk about lucaplakia (sp?)
LOL
i had a teach in highschool like that talk about lucaplakia (sp?)
Yo_Ma_Ma: Damn I just realized that I'm so tired I can barely write a cohesive sentence. WTF was that mess I typed!?!?!? Must be the fumes coming off "Mt Everest" on the otherside of the office.
Windogg
Windogg
is there a green blur eminating from his cubicle?:disgust:
edit:
i just thought of this, why don't you walk by his cubicle and slap a stick-up air freshener on his moniter or something....? or gift wrap a roll of certs and leave it on his desk (with out revealing your self of course)
edit:
i just thought of this, why don't you walk by his cubicle and slap a stick-up air freshener on his moniter or something....? or gift wrap a roll of certs and leave it on his desk (with out revealing your self of course)
LOL here are some of the funnier ones
deploy sexy networks
maximize clicks-and-mortar eyeballs
incentivize sticky channels
facilitate sticky mindshare
deploy sexy networks
maximize clicks-and-mortar eyeballs
incentivize sticky channels
facilitate sticky mindshare
Looks like ltkoo7 has an old poster from the 70's hanging on his wall. Actually the joke is much older but still stands too true to be seriously funny. Huh??!Wha??!
One of the nation's largest soup manufacturers announced today
that the will be stocking America's shelves this week with their newest soup creation, "Clinton Soup", that will honor one of the nation's most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water.
Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car
to its line in honor of Bill
Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will begin
production in Canada this year.
When Clinton was asked what he thought
about foreign affairs, he
replied,"I don't know, I never had one."
If you came across Bill Clinton struggling
in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or
getting a Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph,
what shutter speed would you use?
Chelsea asked her Dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon
a time?" Bill replied, "No, some begin with, 'After I'm elected'."
Clinton's mother prayed fervently that
Bill would grow up and be
elected president. So far, half her
prayer has been answered.
American Indians have nicknamed Bill
Clinton "Walking Eagle"
because he is so full of crap he can't fly.
Clinton lacks three things to become one of America's finest
leaders: integrity, vision, and wisdom.
Clinton is doing the work of three men: Larry, Curly and Moe
Revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear
to tell the truth as I know it,
the whole truth as I believe it to be,
and nothing but what I think you need to know."
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
One of the nation's largest soup manufacturers announced today
that the will be stocking America's shelves this week with their newest soup creation, "Clinton Soup", that will honor one of the nation's most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water.
Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car
to its line in honor of Bill
Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will begin
production in Canada this year.
When Clinton was asked what he thought
about foreign affairs, he
replied,"I don't know, I never had one."
If you came across Bill Clinton struggling
in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or
getting a Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph,
what shutter speed would you use?
Chelsea asked her Dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon
a time?" Bill replied, "No, some begin with, 'After I'm elected'."
Clinton's mother prayed fervently that
Bill would grow up and be
elected president. So far, half her
prayer has been answered.
American Indians have nicknamed Bill
Clinton "Walking Eagle"
because he is so full of crap he can't fly.
Clinton lacks three things to become one of America's finest
leaders: integrity, vision, and wisdom.
Clinton is doing the work of three men: Larry, Curly and Moe
Revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear
to tell the truth as I know it,
the whole truth as I believe it to be,
and nothing but what I think you need to know."
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Actually I'd like to give credit to that joke to Crumcake
oh yeah, I love that bullsh1t thing windogg
visualize collaborative partnerships (I swear I've heard that)
oh yeah, I love that bullsh1t thing windogg
visualize collaborative partnerships (I swear I've heard that
)What's green and looks like a bucket?
A green bucket!
What's blue and looks like a bucket?
A green bucket in disguise!
What's red, sits in a tree, and meows?
A retarded apple!
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
It was dead!
Why did the chicken fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the monkey!
Hope you enjoy.
A green bucket!
What's blue and looks like a bucket?
A green bucket in disguise!
What's red, sits in a tree, and meows?
A retarded apple!
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
It was dead!
Why did the chicken fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the monkey!
Hope you enjoy.
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