I'm ashamed of myself

[xospec1alk]

Originally posted by: Booster
Oh God I just realized how much I suck. I suck bigtime as a personality. Just when I became a student, I started to drink regularly on days off. The worst thing is that I always drank alone by myself since there wasn't any company for me. Now, 6 years later, I'm sitting here, finishing my regular weekend bottle of bad whiskey and I feel fear. I send a message to all of those who are younger than 21 y.o. and for whom it's illegal to drink: people, don't do it. You'll regret it a few years later.

I'm thinking about how much damage my liver has received through these weekly consumptions. Oh God. I imagine endless raws of bottles of wine, beer, gin and whiskey. I can praise myself that I never drank vodka, though.

I also started to smoke on occasion when I was about 17. I have given up smoking recently, but the thought of the damage my lungs have received is killing me.

I also have another problem, but can't write about it here due to censorship *censored*.

Well the point of this post is for all of you who haven't started to kill yourself yet don't do it man! You don't know what bad things will happen to you! Now I know the value of being a good and honest Christian and the importance of faith in God. I know that I became such a nuisance through the lack of faith. God pls help me never drink or smoke again. Amen.

after freshman year of college, my desire to get wasted every weekend has waned. i mean, occasionally i'll go out and get completely stupid, but by no means do i drink on a regular basis...

and i started smoking occasionally freshman year, less than a pack a week, and just recently, i've started to realize what a bad habit that is...i mean sometimes i would wake up in the morning from a night of drinking and smoking, and my throat would be killing me...so hopefully 3.5 years of smoking when drinking, and the occasional cigarette while waiting for my next class, hasn't screwed my lungs over....

 

[gopunk]

the lesson seems more to me not to abstain from drinking altogether, but not to go overboard with it.

and not seeing what this has to do with god...


btw, i really think alcohol should be legalized for minors. my parents let me drink it occasionally when i was little and now that i'm in college, it's my friends who's parents didn't who are all getting drunk all the time. i have no desire to get drunk. funny how that works out...

 

[Booster]

The only thing harsh I'm going to say is "Knock off the suicide/ dying crap!"
What matters now is re-building the things in life that really mean something.... The things that remind us of how interconnected we all are, you know the simple, beautiful things that we forget as we rush through our rat trap routine of daily existance.
Things will get better, they have a way of doing that after the interferences go away.
Get moving, if only to walk around the block.

Thanks, that's way more understanding than one could expect. Personally, I didn't expect anyone to write anything like that to me. I'll try to do my best not to post any such threads again since my degradation shouldn't bother other people on this forum. I'm not an alcoholic by any means and I'll never be one. What makes me feel bad and drink this stuff in limited quantities is the fact that I was rejected by life. And I don't and can't understand the reasons of it. Yes, why? Why am I worse than others? I know if people like you they like you for something, not just like that. It took a long time to understand that. Yes, it's difficult to live by yourself, without any friends, aquaintances or SOs, but I know I can cope with that. What makes me pissed and drink is the fact that I can't understand why such crap happened to me. I know the reason is me... But I'm ashamed to confess even to myself why I know this and don't want and can't do anything about it.

 

[ThaGrandCow]

Originally posted by: Tung
I suck. I'm allergic to beers.

Dear lord! That's the worst allergy I've ever heard of! God really stuck it to you.

 

[halik]

first off all im not seeing the connection with god at all...

Second,If you know how to handle alcohol, theres will be no problems. People all over the world drink and how many of em are in fact alcoholics?

I'm a social drinker... i drink when i go out and party...mostly for the ladies
If you drink alone and do it to get drunk you are an alocoholic, no matter what you drink.

My latest discovery are tequilla smallers...those things are awesome

 

[bsobel]

Oh God I just realized how much I suck.

You may or may not suck, but the issue you posting about is your addicitive tendencies. You'll need to fight those probably the rest of your life, unfortunately it seems some people are just 'wired' this way and have a much harder time with addictive substances (drugs, drinking, smoking, etc) than others do.

I send a message to all of those who are younger than 21 y.o. and for whom it's illegal to drink: people, don't do it. You'll regret it a few years later.

I'm certainly not going to urge those under 21 to drink. But blanket statements like this aren't very usefull. Your placing your issues on everyone else, presuming they will make the same 'choices' and are 'wired' the same as you are. Some people who drink will indeed regret it a few years later, many others (actually most based on the numbers) will be fine.

I know that I became such a nuisance through the lack of faith

Read the studies, why would your god wire you this way

Bill

 

[clamum]

Originally posted by: Jmmsbnd007
The Atheist God will forgive you.

 

[SickBeast]

you're just going to have to find the inner strength to never drink again. also, alcohol is a depressant, and it probably has alot to do with how you're feeling. get yourself help. good luck.

 

[civad]

Vodka is life

Rest all alcoholic drinks suck

 

[Moonbeam]

Because you are close to your feelings, you realize how bad you feel about yourself. You know you feel like the worst in the world. In a way you are very fortunate because everybody feels that way, they just don't know it. Your drinking was a way to keep you from feeling, but it's also a ticket to proving that your feelings are true by destroying yourself. In a way you may be bottoming out, you realize that nothing matters. I couldn't agree more, in one respect. Nothing matters, not that you feel bad, not that you have been a fool, not any of the things you regret. Let it all go. The one think I can tell you is that while you feel like the worst in the world, and I say we all do too, it is a feeling and not a truth. I would recommend that you seek professional help in that area, how you were made to feel so bad about yourself. It is only a feeling. There is nothing wrong with you or anybldy else except they think there is. You have to go down to go up. You have gone down. Time now to see that what you feel about yourself is a lie. Time to say it's ok to be angry that you were taught a lie. It's all OK. All the pressure, the torture, the pain, it's all OK. You have hated and hated yourself. Time to cry, to mourn yourself, to forgive yourself, to let go and live. Someone like you, who has been way down, someone like you can be worth so much in this sad sad world. You will be able to look at people and see into their souls. Get help and you will give so much more. Everything is OK.

 

[crisp82]

Mate, Istarted drinking when I was 14/15 (legal at 18 here), and I drank alot when I hit 16. Probab;y 10 drinks or so every Friday and Saturday night, and some Wednesdays as well. I am now 20, sitting in on most nights, and at the weekend I often top off at around 6 or 8 cans on my weekend nights. I have probably done myself some drinking after some REAL heavy sessions, but I try to keep it in check a bit more now, nd I exercise to promote better health and stuff, but still, I know where your coming from....

 

[Spac3d]

I completely understand where you are going with that. I recently understood that I had a drinking problem as well. Leaving most details out, I have been sober for a few months now, and it feels pretty good.

Good luck. It is good that you realized yourself that you had a problem.

 

[Booster]

Well thanks Moonbeam for a long and thoughtful post, but everything isn't 'OK'. Everything is bad and I got absolutely no doubts about that. I wish I could explain what my problem is but I'd rather not. Anyway, who cares? Thanks for all the replies, everybody.

 

[wfbberzerker]

the sooner you quit the sooner your body will heal itself, and you will have a longer, more fulfilling life.

 

[Night201]

Think of all the money you wasted!