If you wear a toupe.....

[Swag1138]

....why not let your friends try it on for a while. Come on, we're not going to hurt it.

 

[kabelogo]

or you could always mop with it...

 

[oldandquitemad]

Tie a piece of fishing line to it and pull it across the road in front of oncoming automobiles.

That ought to be good for a million laffs (recommended for the fleet of foot only).