i'd make myself care less about stuff that ticks me off. i have meltdowns a lot, thus the handle. i'd make it so that i would be less reactionary and cool down before going apeshit. also less "upfront" about my feelings. i really wear my emotions on my sleeve and say exactly what is on my mind without thinking about the consequences. this has been my #1 downfall in life so far and it has caused a LOT of shit.
I used to have this problem. I'm an abuse victim, and spewing crap is how I was raised. Wanna know how I fixed it?
I finally realized that, when I got angry, I was incapable of being right. No matter how hard I tried to be fair, I always ended up saying things that I regretted. I'd make unfounded accusations, say things that weren't true, think horrible thoughts about others, and drive people into the ground. Just like was done to me.
I decided that anything was better than continuing to be that kind of person, because I care about people and don't want to hurt anybody. I would rather feel hurt than hurt others. So I just shut up when I got angry. No matter how badly I wanted to say something, no matter how right and true and fair it sounded in my head, no matter how unfairly I was being treated, I just would not talk when I was angry. I remembered that I would be wrong if I opened my mouth, so I just didn't. I simply refused to be wrong. Soooo many times I was so very glad and thankful later when I cooled down that I didn't say what I wanted to.
It took me about two years, but I finally broke the habit and gained control over my temper. Now my anger serves me instead of the other way around. Now I can keep my head in any situation. You can do the same thing if you want it badly enough.
Was it worth it? Oh yes. More than I can possibly express. It's what turned me from a boy into a man. Now I'm taking it to the next step by remembering the ninth commandment: you shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. This means in my heart too, so I try not to even let the critical thoughts take root. I remember all the times I've judged someone and been completely wrong.
I don't know why that guy made that turn. I don't know if that lady saw me. I don't know why that kid is screaming. I don't know why they changed that policy. You really have to know a situation very well to judge it correctly, and we do not know the vast majority of situations well enough. So I concentrate on the situations I understand best- those involving my thoughts and behavior.
It's taking me to a whole new level, and I will NEVER go back and be that small, selfish person again.
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