If the savior Jesus came back to life as a pizza delivery man

[OCGuy]

😕

And if it was only 99.999....% of Jesus, would he really exist?

 

[mesthead21]

The tip - Depends on when i get my pizza.

Steak - You think jesus cooks steak? He eats it rare like a man

 

[amdhunter]

When he goes to the gym, does he take off of the treadmill?

 

[Ns1]

I'd stiff him

 

[destrekor]

It would only be Jesus as long as the 99.9.. still includes the beautiful long flowing blonde hair.

 

[destrekor]

Originally posted by: Ns1
I'd stiff him

oooo :evil:

 

[InflatableBuddha]

I like pie. Pizza pie. om nom nom

 

[seemingly random]

There would be those who would declare that he was not the one and true pizza delivery man - that he was an impostor - and that they were still waiting for their guy.

All of this, of course, depends on him showing up in a bipedal form. Other forms might make handling the pizza boxes difficult or impossible.

Maybe there will be a sighting of the face in the pizza. Would you still eat it? In religious litany, you're supposed to eat jesus' body and drink his blood. It could be marketed as communion at home. What will they think of next?

 

[joesmoke]

Originally posted by: destrekor
It would only be Jesus as long as the 99.9.. still includes the beautiful long flowing blonde hair.

jesus is black, he does not have blonde hair.

 

[UberNeuman]

I wouldn't give him a tip of loose change, cause it would just fall on the ground....

 

[sactoking]

Originally posted by: joesmoke

Originally posted by: destrekor
It would only be Jesus as long as the 99.9.. still includes the beautiful long flowing blonde hair.

jesus is black, he does not have blonde hair.

What, was he like the ONE black Jew in Jerusalem?

 

[joesmoke]

Originally posted by: sactoking

Originally posted by: joesmoke

Originally posted by: destrekor
It would only be Jesus as long as the 99.9.. still includes the beautiful long flowing blonde hair.

jesus is black, he does not have blonde hair.

What, was he like the ONE black Jew in Jerusalem?

i didnt say was, brah, i said is 😛

 

[buck]

He would be republican and live in orange county.

 

[TruePaige]

Originally posted by: Ns1
I'd stiff him

And he wouldn't be mad, spit in your pizza next time, or make super slow deliveries to your house.

Because he is Jesus.

 

[destrekor]

Originally posted by: joesmoke

Originally posted by: destrekor
It would only be Jesus as long as the 99.9.. still includes the beautiful long flowing blonde hair.

jesus is black, he does not have blonde hair.

jesus has blonde hair and blue eyes. everyone knows this.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Trick question: You never really get the pizza, you just have faith that it'll arrive someday.

 

[Ns1]

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
Trick question: You never really get the pizza, you just have faith that it'll arrive someday.

so much win

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
Trick question: You never really get the pizza, you just have faith that it'll arrive someday.

*zing*

 

[Born2bwire]

Would he wear a pinky ring? Would he drive a fancy car? Would his wife wear pearls and diamonds? Would his dressing room have a star?

 

[xanis]

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
Trick question: You never really get the pizza, you just have faith that it'll arrive someday.

bravo sir, well-played.

 

[The Boston Dangler]

Originally posted by: GagHalfrunt
Trick question: You never really get the pizza, you just have faith that it'll arrive someday.

*applause*

 

[IronWing]

You'd get the pizza but then you'd have to give it back.

"Give on to Little Caesar's that which is Little Caesar's." - Jesus Jesus

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: buck
He would be republican and live in orange county.

That pretty much describes everyone living in orange county...

 

[SammySnood]

Originally posted by: UberNeuman
I wouldn't give him a tip of loose change, cause it would just fall on the ground....

You're going to hell. I just got a one-way ticket, too. Damn, that's funny!

 

[SunnyD]

Thread of religious winniness!