If magically pets had the physical ability to talk...

[fleabag]

If cats and dogs for what ever reason some how physically developed/grew the ability to talk like people do, would they even attempt it? I mean you see small children try to talk and eventually do but I'm wondering if pets would in the end try to do the same or simply wouldn't bother because we are different from them and that they wouldn't try to emulate us...

What do you guys think? If not, why do you think so? Is it because their brains only have a small portion devoted to speech? I mean I've heard SOME dogs make what sounds like attempts to make human noises but for the most parts, I see that pets tend to make no effort in articulating human speech.

 

[meltdown75]

0_0

 

[Chronoshock]

If they learned to say something that would get them food, they would say it 24/7. My turtle would be like "gimmeh moar pellets!!!!"

 

[spidey07]

What an idiotic thread. All animals communicate in some form or another so of course they would.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

yeah. my dog tries to talk already. also, you come up with the most stupid questions/ideas.

 

[rudder]

My dog would ask me why I beat him so hard when he shits on the carpet.

 

[oogabooga]

Originally posted by: rudder
My dog would ask me why I beat him so hard when he shits on the carpet.

It isn't fair cause you're beating the shit out of him while he's on the carpet... it's a vicious cycle.

 

[Barfo]

Your dog would express disgust at your fapping habits he's forced to witness every night.

 

[Baked]

Won't stop me from eating their delicious flesh.

 

[Slick5150]

My cat: "Sooooo..... Is it time to eat yet? ... Now? .... Hey! .. Food man! .. Food? FOOD??!! HEYYYYYY!!! GIVE ME SOME #$@KING FOOD YOU F#@#ING C@#K SUCKING MOTHER F#@#ER!!!"

 

[actuarial]

My cat would tell me to fuck off, a LOT!

 

[Perknose]

The Revenant by Billy Collins

I am the dog you put to sleep,
as you like to call the needle of oblivion,
come back to tell you this simple thing:
I never liked you--not one bit.

When I licked your face,
I thought of biting off your nose.
When I watched you toweling yourself dry,
I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap.

I resented the way you moved,
your lack of animal grace,
the way you would sit in a chair and eat,
a napkin on your lap, knife in your hand.

I would have run away,
but I was too weak, a trick you taught me
while I was learning to sit and heel,
and--greatest of insults--shake hands without a hand.

I admit the sight of the leash
would excite me
but only because it meant I was about
to smell things you had never touched.

You do not want to believe this,
but I have no reason to lie.
I hated the car, the rubber toys,
disliked your friends and, worse, your relatives.

The jingling of my tags drove me mad.
You always scratched me in the wrong place.
All I ever wanted from you
was food and fresh water in my metal bowls.

While you slept, I watched you breathe
as the moon rose in the sky.
It took all my strength
not to raise my head and howl.

Now I am free of the collar,
the yellow raincoat, monogrammed sweater,
the absurdity of your lawn,
and that is all you need to know about this place

except what you already supposed
and are glad it did not happen sooner--
that everyone here can read and write,
the dogs in poetry, the cats and the others in prose.

 

[Kirby]

Originally posted by: meltdown75
0_0

 

[OCGuy]

I would beg him not to tell about the nights with the ol' Skippy Extra Crunchy.

 

[lokiju]

I remember as a kid I had a dream that was so real that was about my cat at the time talking that when I awoke I was certain it wasn't a dream and went to him and said "come on Caesar (cats name), you know you can talk, I won't tell anyone your secret" :laugh:

But he didn't do it

 

[Zedtom]

So you work hard all day, only to come home and see your dog lounging on the couch talking on the phone.

 

[Rubycon]

You are coming through in waves
Your lips are moving but I cannot hear what you say

A dobbermint pincher [sic] sent that to my box as a text. His name was Floyd.

 

[PlasmaBomb]

Yes is marginal over nothing at the moment...

 

[AstroManLuca]

There are already pets that have the physical ability to talk - parrots. The vast majority aren't smart enough to do anything other than mimic, with a few specially trained ones learning some really, really basic grammar. I imagine if cats and dogs were able to talk, they would, with training. But like parrots, they'd pretty much just mimic speech in order to get food.

 

[Scouzer]

This pole is a case study at the percentage who will click the first result no matter what.

 

[EvilYoda]

SQUIRREL!

 

[darkxshade]

Is this with or without ingesting shrooms? You did say magically.

 

[Gooberlx2]

My cats would say

"I'm hungry, feed me. Okay, now I'm going to play with your curtains. Go clean my litter box....slave"

 

[I Saw OJ]

Originally posted by: Gooberlx2
My cats would say

"I'm hungry, feed me. Okay, now I'm going to play with your curtains. Go clean my litter box....slave"

Pretty much

 

[coloumb]

I'm glad pets can't speak human - humans already do enough emotional damage to each other.