If Jesus rose up from the grave. Would he vote R or D?

[Hugo Drax]

What would Jesus vote for today if he was alive.

 

[crashtestdummy]

I think you should change the poll to, "are you a Democrat or Republican?" You'll get the same results.

 

[child of wonder]

Neither. He wouldn't know what was going on because he was just a guy from the Middle East who believed dust storms were caused by demons, wiped his ass with his hand, and thought seizures were the result of possession.

 

[IronWing]

He'd vote in Chicago.

 

[shortylickens]

He wouldnt. He'd cry at all the shit done in his name.

 

[Theb]

He would be a relentless shill for The Rent is Too Damn High Party.

 

[Anarchist420]

He would vote for dr. Paul, since theyre both anarcho-capitalists. He didn't believe in agents of the state redistributing wealth or conquering other people because both of those require violence.

The Heavenly Father designed us to be decentralized rather than a majority being one body or one body ruling all. The state is a revolt against the Creator.

 

[werepossum]

Man, I hope you guys are joking. Purporting to know how Jesus would vote is amazingly arrogant even for politics.

We do know however what Jesus would drive. He was partial to Honda, although He didn't like to make a big deal about it.

John 12:49
For I did not speak of my own Accord.

On a more serious note, it's impossible for Jesus to "rise up out of the grave". That's, um, kind of the whole point of the religion.

 

[Londo_Jowo]

He would write in a vote for Santorum.

 

[nehalem256]

Given that Jesus would lack photo ID clearly he vote Democrat

 

[Schmide]

Given that Jesus would lack photo ID clearly he vote Democrat

Made me laugh. A lot.

 

[Lemon law]

Na, I have no idea of Jesus would side with dimocrats or republirats, or simply wonder what those strange creaters are in the wrong hemisphere.

I am more confident that Jesus would side with the Palestinians. Rather than Jewish money changers and serial land theives. Jesus did not preach the parable of the good Samartian for nothing. As the State of Israel leadership is now a living example of the bad Samartians. The other point being, Israel has a few million fine samartians, just not enough to have a voting majority over its bad samartians.

 

[UberNeuman]

Man, I hope you guys are joking. Purporting to know how Jesus would vote is amazingly arrogant even for politics.

We do know however what Jesus would drive. He was partial to Honda, although He didn't like to make a big deal about it.

John 12:49
For I did not speak of my own Accord.

On a more serious note, it's impossible for Jesus to "rise up out of the grave". That's, um, kind of the whole point of the religion.

lol...

I had an Altered Beast flashback - "Jesus - WISE FRUM UR GWAVE!!"

 

[Perknose]

With no photo ID, he'd be turned away at the polls.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

The real question is would the republicans and democrats vote for Jesus.

 

[Schmide]

ID what about Citizenship? He'll have to vote democrat if he wants a green card.

Edit: Then again by the Mormon religion, he came here long ago and may be grandfathered in somehow.

 

[Smoblikat]

He would vote for dr. Paul, since theyre both anarcho-capitalists. He didn't believe in agents of the state redistributing wealth or conquering other people because both of those require violence.

The Heavenly Father designed us to be decentralized rather than a majority being one body or one body ruling all. The state is a revolt against the Creator.

Then why is it OK for him to be the one who rules us all? Certainly in his "infinite wisdom" he would have seen that he violates the very law he creates.

 

[emperus]

Then why is it OK for him to be the one who rules us all? Certainly in his "infinite wisdom" he would have seen that he violates the very law he creates.

Jesus would be a democrat. The Gospels give it away. He was the original preacher of Social justice.

 

[nehalem256]

Jesus would be a democrat. The Gospels give it away. He was the original preacher of Social justice.

OH really?

Don’t you remember the rule we had when we lived with you? “If you don’t work, you don’t eat.” And now we’re getting reports that a bunch of lazy good-for-nothings are taking advantage of you. This must not be tolerated. We command them to get to work immediately—no excuses, no arguments—and earn their own keep. Friends, don’t slack off in doing your duty.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Thessalonians+3&version=MSG

From the new testament.

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

OH really?



http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Thessalonians+3&version=MSG

From the new testament.

That's Saul of Tarsus, genius.

 

[Retro Rob]

Funny.

He'd probably simply shake his head at D.C.

 

[Abraxas]

While we are quoting the Bible:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25&version=TNIV

The Sheep and the Goats

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

 

[Cerpin Taxt]

While we are quoting the Bible:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25&version=TNIV

The Sheep and the Goats

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

See now, THAT'S Jesus.

 

[Perknose]

That's Saul of Tarsus, genius.

Don't be so hard on him. Foreigners all look alike to xenophobe right wingers perpetually scared of anyone not named Chip or Buffy or Mitt.

Jesus was a community organizer.

 

[Matt1970]

Funny.

He'd probably simply shake his head at D.C.

He would do more than that.