If I buy a house before I get married, what happens when I get divorced?

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jupiter57

Diamond Member
Nov 18, 2001
4,600
3
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Great job - already thinking about how to work together as a team. I've seen two posts of your and both make you sound incredibly selfish - what a lucky girl whoever gets you.

HaHa!
I've been reading his posts since I joined here.
It is obvious he lives at home with his parents, rarely leaves the house, and has most likely never even spoken to a woman not related to him!

Not to single you out, OP, there are several more like that here as well.
 

diesbudt

Diamond Member
Jun 1, 2012
3,393
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BTW, some day I will post the wall of text about my divorce.

Took almost 3 years, almost $15K in attorney fees, & I still got only about 5% of my(our) total net worth!

That in itself should be enough to deter most men from EVER getting married!


It is because courts still find women "weak and needing to have support" and that men don't.

Sure we have given women practically all the same rights as men, and wages are slowly closing in gap between the 2 genders. But step in a court room? Doesn't make a damn difference.
 

Dumac

Diamond Member
Dec 31, 2005
9,391
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You want a story that's really fucked up: my brother was engaged. He bought a house and busted his ass in it day after day; it consumed a lot of his spare time. Refinished all the oak floors, gutted and re-drywalled a few of the rooms, insulated the attic, painted, etc. - before his fiance would even move in with him. As the wedding date approached, she told him, "I don't feel like we're a partnership; I don't feel like I live in my own home, because your name is the only name on the deed." He added her to the deed. 9 days later, "get out. It's my house now." You can probably guess what his feelings were at that point, but he refused to leave. After he left for work, she would leave the water running all day. She wrote on walls with permanent marker. She screwed with a lot of his stuff. He was genuinely scared of her. Then, he arrived home from work as she was about to leave in her vehicle. He noticed a lot of his tools in the back - he called the police and claimed she was trying to steal his tools. Female officer arrived. First, she claimed that she was borrowing them for her father for a project; then she had a private conversation with the officer. No charges against her; the officer bought her story hook, line, and sinker. The next afternoon, shortly after he got home, the sheriff pulled up. "Get your stuff, you have 5 minutes to get out." Order of protection was served. She had told the officer that he had been beating her. He got the house back. It took almost a year in court, and cost him close to $10k.

Stuff like this is what makes marriage so scary.

That said, I've been with my SO 8 years (as of yesterday) and I have no fears that she'll go psycho like the above story. We plan on getting married soon - just waiting because we are young.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
how good is your lawyer? hopefully you aren't using alkys... 4 years after she kicks you out will still be broke, homeless and married.

WTF does this mean? I didn't use a lawyer in my divorce (my wife did), she actually got a worse deal out of it by taking me to court. I was willing to just walk as long as we sold the house fairly and split the proceeds (it was a $115k home that needed a lot of work in a neighborhood where $135-145k was typical at the time (1995). I put $80k down on and about $40k into it). Instead she took me to court, the judge split all liabilities down the middle, let her sell the house for $102k to a relative (which I am sure gave her a little cash on the side, but was about $50k less that what homes were selling for at that time).

She gave up about $25k and took on about $10k in debt with her attorney plus whatever he was charging her.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
BTW, some day I will post the wall of text about my divorce.

Took almost 3 years, almost $15K in attorney fees, & I still got only about 5% of my(our) total net worth!

That in itself should be enough to deter most men from EVER getting married!

dude how did that happen in Texas? Did you get caught in bed with a dude? Doesn't make sense.
 

diesbudt

Diamond Member
Jun 1, 2012
3,393
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Stuff like this is what makes marriage so scary.

That said, I've been with my SO 8 years (as of yesterday) and I have no fears that she'll go psycho like the above story. We plan on getting married soon - just waiting because we are young.


The scary part of this story is?

More than 30% of women who are unhappy in a marriage or a domestic dispute that will go to court to "split" everything between them, use "He beat me, or Forced himself upon me some nights I didn't want it"

And no matter how many times this excuse is being used. Courts are still believing it, w/o evidence.

Yet have a man say "she beat me every night etc. etc," Courts will just look at him. Laugh, and split everything giving most to her anyways.
 

Wreckem

Diamond Member
Sep 23, 2006
9,549
1,130
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California is a no fault state.

It is almost always 50/50 even with pre-nup. And then if one of them claims abuse, and can have even a slight amount of evidence, it can become 100/0. easy.

CA is a community property state. Unless there is a prenup all community property(income/property etc gained during marriage) by statute is split 50/50. Separate property is NOT split unless its commingled. Party claiming separate party has the burden of proof of proving it is separate property.

In the OPs case, it would be separate but commingled property. In most community property states if he buys it before marriage it is separate, but if he pays for it out of income earned while married the community estate will be reimbursed for the mortgage's payments and the wife will get half of those. So if he put 100k down before marriage and they made 100k in payments during the marriage, she'd get $50k out of the $200k.
 
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DAGTA

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
8,172
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What incentive is there for a man to get married in the USA today? I can't think of any. If it's a partnership based on love and equality, there is no reason you can't live together, split the bills, and be happy.
 

Wreckem

Diamond Member
Sep 23, 2006
9,549
1,130
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dude how did that happen in Texas? Did you get caught in bed with a dude? Doesn't make sense.

Theres got to be a hell of a lot more to the story.

In Texas, the division of community property is under a "just and right" standard with a presumption of roughly equal apportionment. I've never heard of a 95/5 split. Either the guy is lying, did something seriously wrong, or he had a bad attorney, or most likely a combination of all three.

Texas allows for no fault divorces, but certain types of fault can be still be taken into consideration when dividing community property and/or awarding alimony.
 
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BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,353
1,862
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Whatever everyone else is saying is all lies.

What happens when you get divorced is that you have to split your house in half. That's the entire purpose for some houses to have 2 kitchens.
 

Sentrosi2121

Platinum Member
Aug 8, 2004
2,567
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Probably already stated, but if you're getting married and already seeing a divorce in your future....
 
Apr 17, 2003
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Is the women entitled to some of it? The house will be under my name and I don't plan to add her name to the deed.

No, it's separate property. The appreciation on the house is also considered "passive" if it only appreciated due to market forces (i.e. not physical improvement you and your spouse made) and is also considered separate property.

Payments made during the marriage from joint funds are community property (assuming you live in a CP state of course) and she will be entitled to an equitable distribution of those payments.
 
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Apr 17, 2003
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California is a no fault state.

It is almost always 50/50 even with pre-nup. And then if one of them claims abuse, and can have even a slight amount of evidence, it can become 100/0. easy.

You are wrong on several point:

1. No fault state only means that you can file for divorce without a reason, it has nothing to do with property rights.

2. California is a "CP" state meaning a distribution WITHOUT a prenup. With a prenup, "CP" principles do not apply; the terms of the prenup are controlling as to property rights.
 
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Apr 17, 2003
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Well in a world that made sense, this is how it would work:

If the house was totally paid off prior to the marriage, she wouldn't get anything. Otherwise she would get a portion based on how much she contributed to the marriage.

In reality she'll get the whole thing and you'll be homeless regardless of whether you paid it all off and the fact that she was caught cheating on you.

That's pretty much the system in CA...
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,655
688
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You let your GF pressure you into getting married even though you didn't want to, and you're calling HIM pussy-whipped?

No, I never said I didn't want to. I said I didn't see the value/point in it, more so now after having thought about it over the last few years. I was more or less indifferent at the time and she convinced me.
 
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