If BMW made a minivan

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Doppel

Lifer
Feb 5, 2011
13,306
3
0
Most SUVs today, BMW included, are just glorified Minivans anyway. I see people driving stuff like Santa Fe, Traverse, etc, you aren't fooling anyone. SUVs are for the most part Minivans for people too much in denial to buy what they really need.
Fact.

About half the Chevy traverses I saw used for sale were fwd.
All these "SUV" owners did was get a vehicle the same cost as a minivan but without the sliding doors--which are awesome--and which is smaller than a minivan inside. Pride costs money though so as long as they can proudly tell people "I didn't want a minivan" it's all good. After all, a minivan says you're an old mom now and we can't have that, right? Little do they realize their fat ass and saddlebags proclaim their lifestyle far more than what they drive does. Her hee
 

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
102,393
8,552
126
Fact.

About half the Chevy traverses I saw used for sale were fwd.
All these "SUV" owners did was get a vehicle the same cost as a minivan but without the sliding doors--which are awesome--and which is smaller than a minivan inside. Pride costs money though so as long as they can proudly tell people "I didn't want a minivan" it's all good. After all, a minivan says you're an old mom now and we can't have that, right? Little do they realize their fat ass and saddlebags proclaim their lifestyle far more than what they drive does. Her hee

worse third row access, smaller cargo capacity, higher load floor, worse gas mileage, but for some reason the completely irrational choice of getting a minivan that's dressed up to look like an SUV, instead of a minivan that looks like a minivan, is considered manly.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,550
940
126
Most SUVs today, BMW included, are just glorified Minivans anyway. I see people driving stuff like Santa Fe, Traverse, etc, you aren't fooling anyone. SUVs are for the most part Minivans for people too much in denial to buy what they really need.

:thumbsup: Truth!
 

Murloc

Diamond Member
Jun 24, 2008
5,382
65
91
minivans are just a minority of cars and there is already the Mercedes Viano around, while cheaper stuff is well covered by the VW group (multivan, there's a seat too I think) or in Italy by the Fiat Multipla (which is horrible but apparently has a huge interior and people who get over the dad car thing keep buying them, it doesn't have sliding doors though), and I'm talking just about the european brands that I see around here.

The typical BMW driver also wouldn't want to be associated with a brand that makes minivans imho.

So yeah, I don't think it makes sense.
I wouldn't buy one either, even if I had enough money I wouldn't prioritize cars so I stay below the luxury brands.
 

ND40oz

Golden Member
Jul 31, 2004
1,264
0
86
Fact.

About half the Chevy traverses I saw used for sale were fwd.
All these "SUV" owners did was get a vehicle the same cost as a minivan but without the sliding doors--which are awesome--and which is smaller than a minivan inside. Pride costs money though so as long as they can proudly tell people "I didn't want a minivan" it's all good. After all, a minivan says you're an old mom now and we can't have that, right? Little do they realize their fat ass and saddlebags proclaim their lifestyle far more than what they drive does. Her hee

Those are car based crossovers though, not SUVs. The Lambda platform was designed as a replacement for GMs minivan options. For people who need AWD with ground clearance or 4WD, SUVs fit those needs.

The nice thing about BMW SUVs is they drive like their cars do, they're heavier, with a higher center of gravity, but they do a good job engineering around that. If they wanted to build a minivan to provide that same driving experience, I'm sure they could, but I doubt they see a market for it. If they think it'll sell, they'll build it, ie the 5er Gran Turismo.
 

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
102,393
8,552
126
The nice thing about BMW SUVs is they drive like their cars do, they're heavier, with a higher center of gravity, but they do a good job engineering around that. If they wanted to build a minivan to provide that same driving experience, I'm sure they could, but I doubt they see a market for it. If they think it'll sell, they'll build it, ie the 5er Gran Turismo.

unibody, wagon body, drives like a car, not particularly good offroading. if it quacks like a duck...
 

ND40oz

Golden Member
Jul 31, 2004
1,264
0
86
unibody, wagon body, drives like a car, not particularly good offroading. if it quacks like a duck...

I don't think everyone purchases an SUV to offroad, if they did, all we'd see are Wranglers, FJs and Xterras. But getting to work after getting a foot or two of snow with unplowed neighborhoods or running up to the mountains for a week of skiing/snowboarding, things an SUV are much better at then a minivan. Like I said, it's all about the individuals needs, I'd love to have an M5 as my family vehicle but it just doesn't provide the same usability that an SUV does.
 

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,322
1,836
126
I wouldn't buy it because I am not in the market for a minivan or a BMW, however, if somebody offered for me to drive it for free, sure, I'd give it a whirl.
 

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
102,393
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I don't think everyone purchases an SUV to offroad, if they did, all we'd see are Wranglers, FJs and Xterras.
i didn't say that. what i said is that unibody wagons that drive like cars are minivans. be it a nissan pathfinder, bmw x5, or honda odyssey. none of which is particularly better than the other in snow.
 
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SparkyJJO

Lifer
May 16, 2002
13,357
7
81
If it is doesn't have a frame, isn't primarily rear wheel or 4 wheel drive, then it isn't an SUV. It is a crossover. The Traverse is a crossover. The new Explorer is even a crossover now. The old one was an SUV. the Trailblazer is an SUV. The BMW X5, while RWD if I'm not mistaken, is still more crossover than SUV.

And for the record, Honda does not make a single truck :p
 

Baked

Lifer
Dec 28, 2004
36,052
17
81
Minivans are great for drive-bys. They don't do it in the ghetto, but it's the drive-by vehicle of choice in hong kong.
 

ND40oz

Golden Member
Jul 31, 2004
1,264
0
86
i didn't say that. what i said is that unibody wagons that drive like cars are minivans. be it a nissan pathfinder, bmw x5, or honda odyssey. none of which is particularly better than the other in snow.

Up until the brand new Pathfinder, they were all body on frame, now it is a lifted Quest. But an X5 is head and shoulders above an Odyssey in the snow and if you think they drive the same, then stick to minivans.
 

ND40oz

Golden Member
Jul 31, 2004
1,264
0
86
If it is doesn't have a frame, isn't primarily rear wheel or 4 wheel drive, then it isn't an SUV. It is a crossover. The Traverse is a crossover. The new Explorer is even a crossover now. The old one was an SUV. the Trailblazer is an SUV. The BMW X5, while RWD if I'm not mistaken, is still more crossover than SUV.

I'm not sure if you can really hold the SUV = body on frame any longer, even the new Range Rover has switched to a monocoque body. But as an FJ driver, I understand where you're going.
 

Black2na

Senior member
Nov 25, 2010
629
1
0
Yep....long as it was RWD and came with a 5 speed option damn van would live sideways because fun!
 

ND40oz

Golden Member
Jul 31, 2004
1,264
0
86

Yes, but no minivan drives like a BMW, that's the point. For those of us who buy our vehicles for the driving experience rather then strictly from a utility standpoint, it makes a huge difference.
 

crashtech

Lifer
Jan 4, 2013
10,681
2,277
146
Maybe it is my generation, or just my warped mind, but the standard minivan shape has always reminded me of the Enterprise shuttlecraft, so I never really thought they were that terribly uncool. Besides, I think it is just snotty to diss people for wanted to move a large family around, still having room for cargo, without resorting to a behemoth gas-guzzler. Not to say minivans are terribly efficient, but if it was possible to view fuel use per cubic unit of interior volume, I'm sure they would lead the pack. It's a choice that deserves more respect than it gets, imo.
 

Apex

Diamond Member
Oct 11, 1999
6,511
1
71
www.gotapex.com
worse third row access, smaller cargo capacity, higher load floor, worse gas mileage, but for some reason the completely irrational choice of getting a minivan that's dressed up to look like an SUV, instead of a minivan that looks like a minivan, is considered manly.

The same thing can be said for carrying a wallet instead of a purse.